I'm Not Lisa Ch. 01-03

"Rance, I don't know anything about security. You're not asking me to be a spy or anything, are you?"

"Hell no, nothin' like that," he grinned. God, a smile from that man could make me weak in the knees. "I've got uniformed security for the outside of the buildin'. I need an assistant that can help me with the inside. As careful as we are to do background checks, someone could still slip through our screenin'. Your job would be follow up on new people, and check out anyone that might be actin' suspiciously. On top of that, you just finished designin' the database we'll be using. I need someone like you to look after it.

"As far as the security part, it ain't cloak 'n' dagger stuff, just old-fashioned diggin'. There's nothing I can't teach you, and you've already proved you can learn in a hurry."

"Aren't I overqualified for this type of work?"

"No ... I don't think so. It's kind of like learnin' to be a private detective. You have to have one part smarts, one part common sense, and one part intuition. Now, I always heard that women are the experts at intuition. You've already proven you've got the other two parts ... so ... what do you say?"

It was a rotten thing for him to do. I knew ... and he knew ... I was going to say yes. There was no way I was going to turn down a chance to be with the source of my everyday fantasies.

I nodded, probably a little too vigorously. "Okay. Let's do it."

"Great! Just what I was hopin' you'd say," he smiled. Oh shit, I was dead again.

"We'll start next Monday mornin'. If you find me on Friday afternoon, I'll give you a tour of your new office and we can talk about what you'll need for the job."

"I don't have to carry a gun or anything, do I?"

"No," he laughed. "No guns, no tazers, maybe a can of pepper spray, though."

He was teasing me and I smiled and chuckled at that.

Right after lunch Friday I headed for Rance's office. The door was open and he was sitting behind his desk, turned toward the window, his hands behind his head, seemingly lost in thought. I knocked softly.

He didn't react immediately, then acknowledged the knock and swung around to face me. The look he gave me was one I had never seen on him before. I was certain it was one of great sadness. It didn't last long. As soon as he recognized me, he forced a smile and stood.

"Here for your orientation, Julie?" he asked in the sexiest voice any man was ever given.

"Yes. If I'm not disturbing you."

"Nope. Good a time as any," he smiled. The Rance I knew was back, and the 'look' was gone.

We spent the rest of the afternoon together. First he showed me my office, which was a complete surprise. It was next to his and he pointed out that the two were soundproofed. There wouldn't be any overhearing of conversations held in them. The idea of having my own office was exciting, even if I didn't know exactly what the job was all about.

Then we went over his files and what type of information he had and how it was stored. He pulled my file out and placed it before me. I looked at it, and knew from experience that it was amazingly complete.

"Have you had this all the time I've been here?" I asked, a bit timidly.

"Yes, from before we decided to hire you," he answered, looking me straight in the eye.

"Then that conversation we had this week in the cafeteria ... what was that about?"

"Just that ... conversation," he smiled. "I think of it as an ice-breaker."

I looked at him with some suspicion. I looked back at the file. "This even lists the clubs and groups that I was involved with at Stanford," I said, getting more uncomfortable.

He nodded, no smile this time. "That was in your year book. When we interviewed you, you were the most likely candidate. That's when I was asked to do the background check and that's why you didn't hear from us for three weeks. You came up aces, so you were hired."

I don't think he realized how uncomfortable I had become. I was almost angry, but suppressed it to ask another question.

"What isn't in this file that you have dug up? What more do you know about me?"

I could see him change. Maybe he hadn't expected me to be this aggressive, or maybe he knew something he didn't want to share with me. I couldn't tell, but I had unsettled him. He put his hands together, interlocking his fingers and looked me straight in the eye once more.

"Nothin' you haven't told me. If it's not in this file, it either isn't important to Kleinhauser or I don't know about it."

There was no humor in his reply and I was forced to take what he said at face value. I wondered if it was the truth or not.

As we went through the procedures and methods used for background checks, Rance stressed it was important to obey the law and not violate any statues on privacy. That didn't make any sense. He had all kinds of information on me that I didn't volunteer.

"You'd be surprised how easy it is to get information in the public domain," he responded when I challenged him. "There isn't anythin' in your file that you didn't voluntarily offer or that I couldn't find on the internet usin' completely legal means."

"Oh." It was about all I could say to his response.

When I thought about it later, I realized he was right. I even did some test runs myself to be satisfied he was right. I felt better in one way, and concerned in another. Any idea of privacy was being eroded rather quickly in our country. If it wasn't the internet, it was CCTV cameras, Homeland Security, Credit agencies, or a dozen other organizations that collected our personal information through open sources. We had damn few secrets, it seemed.

"We're going to have to start from scratch when it comes to loading the database," I said.

"Don't you go worrying about that part of it. I've asked for Doreen Jamieson to help. She knows the project and wanted to see it through to the finish."

"Okay. We'd better get started, we've got a lot of work to do."

That got a big Rance Cameron smile. "Good! I'll look forward to havin' you here startin' tomorrow."

It took another three months to convert the nearly three hundred personnel files over to the database. I was still learning the job, but it wasn't boring and I was fascinated by what I could dig up about prospective employees that they'd rather not admit. If I ran into a roadblock, I'd talk to Rance and he'd show me how to get the information legally.

By now, I was comfortably settled in my new role and enjoying it. Doreen had finished her work and had gone on to another project. My job wasn't anything like I was trained for, but that didn't matter. I was sitting next to my heartthrob and learning a lot, so I was happy. We spent almost every lunch hour together, usually with a sandwich and a drink from the nearby vending machine. Sometimes we would splurge and go to the cafeteria, but more often that not, you'd find us in Rance's office, the door open, telling each other stories about our past.

I learned a lot about my cowboy boss during those lunches. Bit by bit, he told me about his life and, almost by accident, his abortive romance with a local girl in Trinidad. I think it surprised him that he even mentioned it, and he shut up almost immediately when he realized what he had revealed. I was pretty sure this was the girl who had sent him the Dear John letter in Afghanistan, but I didn't pursue the matter. He hadn't volunteered the information, and I wasn't going to press my luck. Not yet, anyway.

I never could get my head around the idea that a supposedly sane woman would dump a guy like Rance. It just didn't make sense. Sure, he was handsome, but he was so much more than that. He was one of those men who didn't have to act the part. He knew who he was and didn't feel like he had to show everyone. I think that was his most attractive feature. So why did this woman kiss him off? Was there something about Rance I didn't understand?

I'd been with Kleinhauser for almost a year when a couple of things happened that changed my thinking. I hadn't had a single date since I had arrived in Spokane. Not one. Why? I was fixated on Rance. Probably futile, I admitted to myself more than a few times. But just the same, I didn't date.

It was another sunny Spring Monday morning when I noticed that Rance hadn't come to work. I checked with the main switchboard and Lily told me that Rance had left a message on the main board over the weekend that he had to go home to Trinidad on urgent family business. He would let us know when he would return. I thought it was strange that he hadn't left me a message on my direct line, but that question was answered soon enough.

I had seen Tim Kleinhauser several times in the office and during a staff party at Christmas, but I had never been formally introduced to him. So I was surprised when he knocked on my door frame, gave me a big, toothy smile, and asked if he could come in.

"Of course, sir," I almost stammered, rising from my chair. I was a bit surprised when he closed the door behind him. "Uh oh," I thought, "this might not be good."

"If you don't mind, please allow me to call you Julie and I'll answer to Tim," he continued with that big smile.

"Yes ... sure," I managed feebly.

"I feel like I know you already," he began as he sat in the chair in front of my desk.

"Oh ... we've never been introduced before," I quickly told him.

"I know. But Rance has been talking about you almost since you first joined us. Julie did this, Julie did that, Julie's my right arm, and so on. I thought it was about time I came down and met the woman that has my best friend tied up in knots."

He said it with such good humor the meaning didn't really sink in for a moment. And then, it did. I could fell the intense blush creep from my chest to my face as I understood what he was saying.

"I ... I ... had no idea," was all I could manage.

"No, I don't suppose you did. Rance is pretty good at hiding his feelings. Right now, he's got a problem with his father being injured on the ranch and needing his help with the roundup. He said they've got to get the herd up to the summer pasture, and cowhands are hard to find at this time of year. Anyway, he asked me to let you know where he was and what he was doing. He didn't want you to worry."

"Oh ... that's very thoughtful of him. Did he say when he'd be back?"

"No. It'll pretty much depend on how his dad is and whether his mother can cope. He was pretty confident that you could handle the job without him -- no problem."

"Uh ... I hope so. I wouldn't want to disappoint him."

"I doubt you could do that," he said with a knowing smile. "I think Rance has finally met his match, and I came down today to talk about that."

I could feel my heart racing in my chest. What the hell was this all about? What was Tim Kleinhauser suggesting?

"I think it's time I told you a story, and maybe help you understand your boss a little better. Rance and I met in Fort Benning during specialist training. He'd been in the Army for a year and I wasn't there quite two years yet. We became friends first, then later on, good friends. To make a long story short, we were assigned to the same unit and shipped off to Baghdad together.

"Rance was engaged to a girl from his home town named Lisa. I guess she was some kind of looker, because there was hardly a day went by when he wasn't talking about her and telling me how beautiful she was. Funny thing though, she didn't write to him much. No letters, just the occasional e-mail. I thought that was kind of strange since they were engaged.

"Her father was a wealthy property developer in Trinidad, and he was making a fortune buying up old nineteenth century buildings and renovating them and selling them. Pretty soon, Trinidad was passing itself off as one of the best heritage sites in the west, and the tourists came flocking. That's what gave Rance and his father the idea that they might start a Dude Ranch operation to help with the income.

"By this time, we'd been moved to Kandahar in Afghanistan. Anyway, one day Rance gets a letter from Lisa and I can still remember the look on his face when he read it. It wasn't very long and it just said she'd found somebody new and fell in love and was going to marry him. Apparently she sent back the engagement ring to his folks by mail. You can guess how Rance must have felt.

"I was due to be sent home after my tour in another month, and to be honest, I wish it had been sooner. Rance went off the deep end. He took crazy risks and it almost seemed like he was trying to get himself killed. The more he tried, the more he became a one-man killing machine. It was scary to watch, but I will tell you he never put any of his men in danger. In fact, he pulled two men almost a hundred yards across the sand when they were wounded. Not just one guy, but two. He wouldn't let us come out to help.

"When the brass got the report from our lieutenant, they couldn't wait to pin a medal on him. He didn't want any part of it, but they were bound and determined. A week later, we were pinned down in a fire fight with a bunch of Taliban. There were six of us and at least a dozen of them. In the middle of this fight, Rance got pissed off at the stalemate, grabbed a couple of extra grenades off my belt, and jumped out of the pit we were in, hightailing it for a nearby building.

"All hell broke loose, but somehow he made it to the old house. Anyway, he damn near single handedly took out that enemy force. He had them so tied up, that we were able to support him and clean the bastards out. When I got to where Rance was, I could see his was hit and I called for a medic."

Tim stopped for a moment, probably collecting his thoughts. I was exhausted just listening to this story.

"Anyway, they evacuated him and next I heard he was on his way to Germany. That was the last I saw of him before I was sent home and discharged. I kept in touch with the hospital in Landstuhl, and got the word that he was going to be okay, but it was going to be a while before they would send him home. He lost a piece of one rib, and had several other wounds that were fairly serious. It was almost two months before they sent him to Walter Reed.

"I went to visit him, and I have to tell you, Julie, I was worried. He was in a black mood. More pissed off that he couldn't go back and fight the Taliban than he was about the wounds. I guess he made a miserable patient. Anyway, I told him that if he was interested, I was going to set up a security department in my new business and he was a natural for it. I didn't expect for a moment that he would accept it, but I made the offer.

"Three months later, he limped into my portable trailer here in Spokane and asked me if the job was still open. Hell yes, I told him. It would have been even if I'd already hired someone else. I'm sure he couldn't or wouldn't go back to Trinidad because of Lisa. She was still around, according to his mother. She'd really done a number on him and he wasn't about to let her get any satisfaction from seeing him.

"So ... there you are. That's how Rance and I got together, and why he's living here and not down in southern Colorado on the ranch. But whatever magic you worked on him, he's a different man because of it. Do you know that this is the first time that he's gone home in three years? So, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm telling you all this in my usual long-winded way," he grinned.

"Yes ... I guess I am," I nodded.

"Well, he's got a God-almighty crush on you and neither he nor I know how you feel about him. I don't want to see him hurt, so I guess I'm asking you a pretty personal question. I promise I won't make things difficult for you if you don't have feelings for him."

I was stunned. My dream man had a thing for me? I couldn't quite believe it. All these months he had never let on. Sure, we were friendly and we worked together really well, but I thought ... if anything ... he'd figure out I was hung up on him long ago. I guess I was wrong.

"Mr. ... Tim. I think every single woman in this company has a thing for Rance Cameron and I'm no different. Working with him this past while has only convinced me just what a complete man he is. He's almost too good to be true. I knew about his ex-fiancée when I first joined, but not the whole story. She must be brain-dead. He's so out-of-reach for most women that it isn't funny. And he's got a thing for me?" I said in wonder.

"Fraid so," he chuckled, a look of relief on his face. He was really worried that I might not be interested. Is he kidding?

"Now what?" I said, shaking my head. "What do I do now? How am I supposed to act around him? Do we have a fraternization policy?" I asked suddenly, thinking that might put a stop to any office romance.

"Nope. Never got around to writing one. Think we should have one?"

I laughed out loud in relief. "Not yet."

Chapter 3 Your Move, Rance

It took him a while, but Rance finally phoned me and told me what was going on at his home.

"His horse rolled on him when it stumbled and went down. Daddy was underneath and got his leg broke in three places and cracked two ribs. I've heard from people that he was lucky he wasn't killed. Just the same, he's busted up pretty good and won't be getting' around for another couple of months. I've been arrangin' some help for Mom and been fillin' in on the drive to move the herd up to summer pasture.

"I don't know when I'll be able to find another hand to take over for me, but I'm lookin' every day. How are you doin'? You havin' any problems?"

"No ... not really. I miss you. I mean ... I'm making some decisions I wish you were here to say were okay." I'd caught myself just in time.

There was silence on the line for a bit before he spoke.

"You'll be fine, Julie. I trust you. Just do what you think is right. I'll call every day or so and we can talk."

"I'd like that," I said, trying not to put too much meaning into my response.

"Then you can count on it. Maybe if I call around lunch time?"

"I'll be here, waiting for you." Again, I wondered what I was telling him.

"That's good to hear. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye for now."

I almost hated to hang up. I could hear something in his voice that I hadn't heard before. Something that sounded like ... a softness that I wasn't used to. Was Tim right? Did Rance have feelings for me? It was a dream, but was it real? I was too afraid to ask. Why would he choose me?

In the months that I had worked for Rance, I had been able to contain my emotions. He was no less sexy and desirable today than he was the first time I laid eyes on him. Not only that, he was a gentleman. He seemed so out of place in this business, yet he fit like a fine leather glove when it came to doing his job. Unobtrusive, polite, discreet, sensitive ... all the attributes of a professional. A real man as I defined it. Was he shy or overly cautious? That was the question I wanted an answer to.

His calls came just like clockwork, twelve-thirty on the dot. We would talk about business briefly, but most of the time he told me about what he was doing on the ranch and how things were going. I didn't have much to contribute. I wasn't doing very much except work and sleep, with a bit of swimming and exercise thrown in. I found myself trying to define our relationship, but I couldn't. Were we just friends, or, as Tim had suggested, headed for something more?

I had been deferring my vacation while Rance was gone. But it made me wonder what the company did when Rance was away before I came on the scene. I decided to find out.

"Nothing," Doreen said. "Tim pretty much had to kick Rance out of here once a year to take at least two weeks vacation. I think it got to the point where Tim banned him from the premises. I don't know where he went or what he did, but I'm pretty sure he didn't go home."