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Click hereThe sun beat down in the sunken valley town of Wallaceville. The lawn of the newest home on the block was filled to capacity with cars. Built in the style of a modern-day log cabin, the inhabitants of this place were in a festive mood. Music blared from the as people milled about the yard. Talking, singing, drinking and swaying to the beats. The Black National Anthem came on and Brittney began the starting movements of "The Electric Slide." Everyone, young and old gathered in accompanying rows, shuffling their feet and having a ball.
Thaelor Renee Morrison sat at the picnic table, a wine cooler at the ready. She sat next to her favorite Auntie Florence as they watched Lisa Ann Morrison and Henry Leigh Morrison play lazily on the comforter covered grass.
"Girl them kids getting big. You gone have to watch them once they start walking." Florence said.
"Oh, I won't have too. My husband has no problem keeping an eye on them. Speaking of...hey honey...that food almost ready yet?!!"
Ryan stood behind the grill, tongs in one hand, beer in the other. The stereotypical American man, having fun playing at Master BBQ'er.
"Hey sweetie...you can't hurry perfection. They should be ready in about 6 more minutes."
"That's what you said 30 minutes ago!!"
"Well...I don't have anything better to do but wait. Maybe you and I should go inside and discuss it?"
"BOY YOU NASTY!! REMEMBER THE KIDS!!"
"No worries...they ain't going nowhere...we got time."
"No you don't." said Flo. "Look."
Slowly, carefully, the two children stood on the blanket. Starting at opposite ends, they swayed, stumbled, and precariously moved to the center. Running as fast as their inexperienced, short little legs could take them. Running to the middle, running to each other, running to love.
- COMMENTS
DarkkBrothaOnealmost 5 years agoAuthorFear not intrepid reader, while these stories were the culmination of those particular entries, I have not forgotten the characters that many of you fans have become enamored with; namely Brittney, Travis and Monica. Believe me when I tell you that they WILL BE HEARD FROM AGAIN. This time, more or less in their own storylines. I apologize to all of you that have waited so patiently for my return, however life's events have slowed my writing down considerably. I cant wait to share my thoughts with all of you soon.
exorcidalmost 5 years agoThe format which you chose to write your stories was rather confusing with the different titles given to each part. I came across this story by accident and decided to read it. Actually started "Return to a place called home pt 1" then decided to read "A port in the storm and realised it's all the same story but different parts. I was then able to read them in order by following the dates they were published. Why not use the same title throughout but each part being a different chapter as most writers on the site do? Although I loved the story alot, towards the last few chapters seemed like you forgot about Brittany and your mentioning her in the end of the final chapter was an afterthought. I say this to say her that after her introduction there was so much emphasis placed on her relationship with Thaelor and then with Ryan giving his little "speech" about the nature of their relationship to each other it felt like both the reader and the character were short-changed. It would have been better to exclude her from the story in that case rather than placing her in just to act as a filler for your story. Other than that and some grammatical errors here and there it was a great read and I look forward to reading more from you.
MyLadyInChainsover 5 years agoSorry if my comment was too long, and I hope it didn't come across as criticism. I'm just trying to sate my insatiable curiosity on why people do things the way they do them!
MyLadyInChainsover 5 years agoYou sort of answered it in your reply. I can understand why you broke it up into three separate chapters. They are definitely part of the same story, but I can see where you might think that they would be too long and wouldn't hold our interest. (I disagree though, it was captivating enough that I found it almost frustrating to look for the next part!) Having the four different titles confused me a little. If I hadn't seen your comment about the order of the stories, I would have been waiting for you to finish writing this one and would not have realized that the Phoenix (I think) is the very beginning. I haven't read that one yet. I guess my question is why did you choose different titles for the different sections instead of using one main title and just adding Ch 1, Ch 2 and so on? Asking as a future writer.
Anonymousover 5 years agoWonderful loving the way the whole is going. Please fill in more on the brother and sister plus Brittany. I believe you could do whole new series just on her
