Sissification 101: Ch. 01

"Just what?" she asked, still sounding more hurt than mortified.

I wasn't sure how I could possibly construct my response to that question without either making me sound like a pathetic faggot, or her sound unsatisfactory, or both. Yet she had already seen the video and me watching it, and had heard the gist of the message it was delivering, so my shameful secret life was already out of the bag, per se. I decided just to lay it on the table, honestly and with no spin. I explained, "Frankly, I have no idea why I get so turned on by these videos, and I won't deny to you that I do. If I had to guess, I'd say it's partly because I feel inferior because of the size of my penis, and... also... because..." I ground to a halt, because even though she'd caught me in the act and I was still wearing my pantyhose, I couldn't come right out and say the next unmentionable thing.

"And what?" she asked, her arms now crossed, which I found more intimidating. I was thankful however that she was still here... most women would have either raged out the door or fled in tears long ago. She was asking probing questions and doing so non-judgementally (although she had still given me no indication of what she felt about it), truly attempting to understand what I was doing, and why I was doing it. If she was washing her hands of me, she wouldn't be bothering.

I looked down to her nylon-clad feet, she was even wearing nylons under her jeans, which made my cock involuntarily flinch in my pantyhose, as I sheepishly admitted to the first person ever in person, a single one more than I'd ever imagined admitting this to (I'd told many people about these feelings online, but always anonymously), "The worst part is that I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a girl."

"Or just to dress like a girl?"

"Yes, that too," I whispered in shame, as I continued to direct my gaze at the floor and at her sexy feet, her toes, I noticed, painted a cute blue... which was new. Today at work, they'd been red.

"And to suck a cock?"

"A black cock," I corrected her, and then wondered why I'd felt the need to clarify that point. I was certain I was now looking even more pathetic.

"And to be fucked by a black cock? And I understand the distinction you're making."

"I don't know," I said, then admitted my truth, "Well, actually the answer is yes. But only sometimes."

"Ever had anything in your ass?" she asked, beginning to astonish me by her abundance of questions, and also by the familiarity with this subject she must have to be asking these specific questions. She was beginning to appear more intrigued than anything else, which had me more than a little confused.

"No, never," I answered, but not adamantly. I'd considered buying some anal toys, had even gone into an adult store and looked around, but I couldn't build up the courage to take an anal starter kit up to the till, which was attended by a pretty college-age girl. I didn't want to be judged, not even by someone working in a sex shop, so I allowed my insecurity about who I was, keep me from exploring more of my sexuality.

"That's a good call, actually; a proper black cock would tear that ass of yours apart without proper training," she said rather matter-of-factly.

"W-w-what?" I stammered.

"An ass needs to be well prepared before it can take a big black cock inside it," she elaborated.

"Oh," was all I could muster.

"So, do you have any other hidden fantasies other than cross dressing, becoming a girl, sucking black cock, and taking a black dick up your ass?"

The list just as she'd recited it had me utterly humiliated. Yes, I did have many other twisted fantasies, including being spit-roasted by BBC, gangbanged by BBC, and then many daydreams involving her, including Joan pegging me, watching her get fucked by a big black cock or a group of black men, her caging my tiny dick, and eating her cum-filled pussy.

"Oh my God, you do!" she exclaimed, always able to read me.

"But they're all really sick and twisted and embarrassing," I replied sheepishly, completely disgusted with myself. I'd found a way to ruin my first serious relationship in a decade with my sick sexual perversions. A woman I'd thought may very well be The One.

"Nevertheless, tell me," she ordered. Then added, "I want to know every single one."

"That would take a long time," I joked awkwardly.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said, which surprised me yet again. Why was she being so patient? She didn't seem disgusted by any of this. She also didn't seem turned-on, or anything else. She just seemed... I guess the best description I could give was... curious. It seemed she was trying to understand what she had walked into, and what it meant to me... and perhaps even to her, but that would likely be stretching it.

I sighed heavily, not at her, but myself. I began with, "Well... I'd like to be spit-roasted. Which means..."

"I'm familiar with the term. By two black cocks?"

"Yes, otherwise I wouldn't bother."

"Being spit-roasted can be pretty wild," she observed, although her tone was still neutral.

"You've been spit-roasted?" I asked, surprised, although based on the sexual appetite she'd demonstrated with me, I guess I shouldn't have been.

"A few times," she said, then added, only offering me a single detail, although I instantly had lots of questions, "although never by two black cocks."

"Have you ever had a black cock?"

"Two," she answered, but then stressed, leaving me more intrigued, "but we can talk about my history another time; for now, let's focus on your fantasies. What else is there?"

"They're all so embarrassing," I admitted.

She finally moved away from leaning against the doorframe. She walked over to me, dropped to her knees before me and said, "There's nothing about any fantasy to be ashamed of." She then leaned forward and sucked on the head of my cock through my pantyhose.

"Ooooh," I moaned, her unexpected mouth on my cock instantly sending waves of pleasure through my very being, strongly propelled by the rush of relief coursing through me that she wasn't disgusted by me, she wasn't leaving me, and she even seemed to be turned on by all this.

She sat back up as she rubbed my nylon-clad legs and explained, "I know you're ashamed of your fantasies. So I need to tell you that shame isn't a naturally occurring condition. It's inflicted from the outside by judgemental people. So kindly look deep into my eyes and tell me whether I'm judging you."

I did, and all I could see in those lovely blue eyes was caring and compassion. Plus a hint of authority I'd never noticed before. "No. Astonishingly, you're not. I don't see even a hint of criticism coming from you."

"And I can honestly assure you that you're reading me accurately. We can work on alleviating that astonishment as we go along, but right now I want you to tell me everything. Every... single... fantasy."

"You sure?" I asked, still in awe that not only was she still here, but she seemed to want to know all my fantasies. No, that's not right. She was insisting on knowing them all.

"Every single one," she repeated, as she stood up and unbuttoned her jeans. "And I'll take a step towards getting naked after hearing each of them."

"Well... I want to go to a glory hole and suck and swallow the cum from as many big black cocks as I possibly can," I blurted out, dying to see her undress... dying for an opportunity to reveal all my sick twisted fantasies after years of holding them inside... dying to end up fucking her.

She unzipped her jeans, looked at me and said, "Mmmmmmm, and?"

Her 'Mmmmmmm' was perhaps the hottest non-word ever uttered. She was getting turned on by my sissy fantasies. By undressing, she was actually rewarding me for coming up with them. God, she was amazing!

"I want to be the centerpiece of a big black cock bukkake," I listed. I'd been wondering for a while not only what cum tasted like, and what it would feel like in my mouth and gliding down my throat, but also what it would be like to take a facial. In my fantasies, the more humiliating and demeaning something was, the more sexually stimulating I found it. This causal relationship didn't make much sense to me, yet that was my reality.

"Mmmmmmm, so hot," she said in a deliberately seductive tone, as she slid her jeans down her legs to reveal she was wearing a lacy garter-belt and stockings.

"I want to be gangbanged by big black cocks," I added, perving on her black lingerie and her pale violet lace panties.

"Who wouldn't?" she asked rhetorically and wickedly, affirming that she too would enjoy being gangbanged by big black cock.

I asked, needing to remove any doubt, "Do you really want to be gangbanged as well?"

"By big fat cocks?" she asked demurely,

"No, by big fat black cocks," I smiled back, still finding this entire situation surreal and unbelievable.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "But for now I'm neither confirming nor denying anything about my own proclivities; this conversation is about you. So what else?"

Maybe those were her rules, but she'd unmistakably hinted. Which gave me the cajones to reveal the next one. I admitted, "I want to watch you fuck a big black cock."

"Oh my, how flattering," she said, as she lost the jeans completely. "And?"

My perverted list was turning her on. I added, "And then I want to clean out your cream pie."

"Now let me get this straight, with the clear understanding that I'm still not judging you. You want to watch a black stud with a big dick fuck me until he comes inside me, and then you want to eat his big load of cum from my cunt and swallow every last drop? While it's mixed in with my own tasty orgasmic nectar?" she elaborated wickedly. She was a dirty talker when we were having sex, something that always really turned me on. In public she was sweet and caring and impeccably well-spoken... so no one would ever guess how dirty she could talk when she was getting fucked or eaten out. She was the only woman I'd ever met who used the word 'cunt'. But only to me, and only when we were doing something where it worked.

"Yes, all of that, and from your gorgeous cunt," I agreed, as she slipped her panties down to reveal said cunt, along with a new surprise... it was completely bald... which was new.

I stared in hungry awe. Her pink pussy lips were glistening ever so slightly.

"I had a Brazilian a couple days ago," she explained. "Like?"

"It's amazing," I said, unable to stop staring at her ripe, inviting pussy. I loved eating pussy, always have; I'd better, since my dick is so inadequate, and now I could dine without getting the odd pubic hair in my mouth.

"Good. Next one?"

Since I'd already given her so many tawdry revelations, I figured there was no point in turning back now. "I want to be pegged," I answered, and then added, "by you."

"Oh, fun," she smiled, as she raised her t-shirt over her head and off, to reveal she wasn't wearing a bra.

"In my dreams, that's always fun."

"So, you want your hot girlfriend to fuck your cute virgin ass?" she asked, the words sounding so fucking hot coming out of her mouth, especially while she squeezed my tiny cock, which was indeed raging.

"God, yes," I moaned, as she reached behind me, pulled Chrome back up and pressed Play on the video that had been playing.

She spun my chair back around to face the screen and ordered, "I want you to do exactly as the voice tells you to."

"Okay," I said, still in awe of what was happening. She wasn't disgusted by my pathetic-ness. No, she was definitely turned on by it.

The female voice ordered, as a cute blonde in pigtails was being face fucked by a big black cock, "Your purpose is to suck black cock."

"Say it," Joan ordered, as she stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders, assumedly watching the video too.

"My purpose is to suck black cock," I repeated, shame and excitement simultaneously coursing through me.

A black cock pounded a chubby redhead in the ass, as the voice said, "Your cunt is available for every black cock to breed you."

It had originally taken me a while to get used to the videos calling a male asshole a man cunt, or simply a cunt, but over time, I had.

"Say it, sissy," Joan ordered me from behind.

Hearing her call me a sissy was a bit of a surprise, but also a huge turn on, as I obeyed both female voices, "My cunt is available for every black cock to breed me."

A girl on her back was sucking on a big pair of black balls while stroking the thick shaft, as the voice intoned, "Your one and only purpose in life is to worship big black cock."

I repeated, being pulled into the video like I always was, in a hypnotic sort of way, "My one and only purpose in life is to worship big black cock."

"Mmmmmm," Joan moaned from behind me. "Isn't that a nice cock?"

"So nice," I agreed, entranced by the video.

A new scene appeared, of a girl bouncing on a big cock and looking to be in complete euphoria, as the voice said, "You're a sissy slut for big black cock."

I repeated the words, imagining it was I somehow bouncing back onto that big black cock, "I'm a sissy slut for big black cock."

"I'd be a slut for that cock too," Joan added, obviously enjoying the video, and whittling away at my deeply ingrained shame by getting turned on by the same things that I was.

The video was nearing its end, as the scenes became quicker and the repeated phrases shorter.

Three black men stroked their big black cocks as the voice said, "You love BBC."

"I love BBC," I repeated, staring at all three of those long, thick, glistening cocks, seeming to be calling my name.

"You... love... big... black... cock," she said, stressing each word very slowly, as a pretty brunette stroked a big black cock.

I repeated, "I... love... big... black... cock," experiencing a strange extra rush, knowing my beautiful girlfriend was right behind me not only literally but figuratively, while she was not only watching the same video I was, but listening without reproof to my many sick and twisted declarations.

A cheerleader was deep throating black cock, as the voice said, "You live for black cock."

"I live for black cock," I repeated.

A nerdy girl got face fucked by a fat black cock as the voice said, "You crave black cock."

"I crave black cock."

A schoolteacher was bent over her desk taking a big black dick in her pussy, as the voice continued, "You service only black cock."

"I service only black cock," I repeated, my eyes glued to the screen.

As two black cocks spit roasted a MILF the voice said, "You're addicted to BBC."

"I'm addicted to BBC," I repeated mindlessly.

"You can't resist big black cock," the voice said, as a girl dropped to her knees before a huge black dick.

"I can't resist big black cock."

"I wouldn't be able to resist that one either," Joan chimed in, sounding as in awe of the plethora of perfect black cocks as I was.

"You're a slave for big black cock," the voice said, as a girl with a silver choke necklace actually engraved with 'BBC slave', stroked and sucked a big black cock.

"I'm a slave for big black cock," I repeated word for word, having watched this same video and repeated these same words so many times I could do it without the video, except I'd miss out on the visuals.

As a Latina was pounded hard and was clearly experiencing intense pleasure, the voice said, "You want to feel the way she feels."

"I want to feel the way she feels," I repeated with feeling, so curious to know what it would feel like to get fucked like that.

"It feels amazing," Joan added.

"I bet it does," I said, as I imagined Joan taking that massive black pussy fucker.

"You want to be her," the voice added, as a pretty blonde was furiously pounded from behind.

"I want to be her," I repeated.

"I have been her," Joan said wickedly from behind me.

"Tell me more," I begged; I'd love to hear that story.

"Not now. Keep watching," she ordered.

"You love the taste of BBC," the voice said, as a petite brunette with her ponytail flying everywhere bobbed up and down, and then swirled her tongue around a huge chocolate stick, making it glisten with visual appeal.

"I love the taste of BBC," I repeated, and so did Joan.

Surprised, I turned around to look at her, but she ordered, "Stay focused," pointing at the computer screen.

"You can't resist big... black... cock," the voice said in a slow seductive tone, as a tiny Asian on all fours bounced on a big black cock, obviously near apocalyptic bliss.

"I can't resist..." I began, then was joined by my hot girlfriend in finishing, "...big... black... cock."

"You must submit to any BBC at all," the voice stressed, as a cute coed pulled down a pair of sweats to reveal her very own massive black snake.

"I must submit to any BBC at all," I repeated, now hearing Joan moaning behind me, now with only one hand resting on my shoulder.

"You must suck BBC," the voice said, as a chubby nurse gagged on a fat black dick.

"I must suck BBC," I repeated.

"You must dress sexy for BBC," the voice instructed, as a girl in sexy lingerie gave a nylon-clad foot job to a black prick.

"I must dress sexy for BBC," I repeated, a little ashamed to admit that pronouncement in front of Joan, and yet she seemed fine with it, or at least she didn't comment.

"I should do that to you," Joan said.

"That would be hot," I said, never having had a nylon foot job, but having watched tons of them on a website focusing on that niche.

"Dress you up, I mean," she clarified, surprising me.

"Oh," I said, as my telltale cock flinched at the idea.

"I could turn you into a pretty sexy little slut," she purred, as she tugged on my ear.

"Oh fuck," I groaned, not having complied with the recorded order to wear stockings for BBC. I'd bought myself a couple pairs of thigh high stockings, but only worn them once, as I preferred the feel of my penis against my pantyhose... although sissy boys, I'd learned from these sissy videos, didn't have cocks... a proper sissy had a penis or a clitty.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" she whispered, as she reached for my cock, and then added a single word that set me off completely, "Erica,"

"God, yes," I moaned loudly, hearing my name feminized, an idea I hadn't even thought of before, even though it now seemed so obvious. I trembled and came inside my pantyhose within a couple of seconds.

"Oh my, you really like that idea!" she purred, as she continued rubbing my cock while I continued coming all over myself. "Very well, then. You're my sweet little Erica."

"Sissies only want black cock; sissies only need black cock," the voice repeated, this time over and over for the entire final thirty seconds as very short clips of black cocks flashed constantly before me.

"Say it with her, Erica," Joan purred, as she squeezed my slimed cock through my pantyhose.

"Sissies only want black cock, sissies only need black cock," I repeated weakly five times, until the video ended.

"That was so hot," Joan said, as she moved around to stand in front of me, pulled my pantyhose down, scooped up some wads of my cum, and inserted them into her pussy. She then said, "Get down and eat my modified creampie, my sexy little sissy slut."

I was stunned and yet so aroused, as I rolled my chair forward a bit, leaned down, and licked my cum from Joan's wet pussy.