All Comments on 'Fulfillment 06'

This story is a bit slow and you need to mark the change in scene.

so glad to see you posting enjoyed the chapter and i hope that Lyssa gets her act together soon. I love the pace of the story and can not wait for the next chapter

Your portrayal of Lyssa as she slips into depression is wrenching. The other pairs of lovers keep things from becoming too grim. But as a reader, I keep hoping for some sign of relief for Lyssa and Emmet to come soon. It's very gripping.

The pack dynamics continue to fascinate. It's a great story.

I do love Em but I am so sick and tired of all the drama with Lyssa constantly enough is enough. I am done .

You would think Jo would know more being raised in a pack of wolves but she is so clueless I feel sorry for Nathan.

When you have went through something that traumatic in your life, you have no clue what you will do and how you will heal or if you will. This stage in Lys's life is the deciding factor on if she gets better or if she slides deeper. I know. I've been there. The battle itself can either give you more strength than you've ever imagined or bring you to your grave. The line is transparent. You will cross it many times....Just when you think the battle is over, another one will begin. I don't see this as a slow part in the story. I see this as a huge defining moment. Everyone will be affected by what happens next. Sorry to be so long with my answer.

I'm not sure who to feel more sorry for Lyssa or Emmitt. Lyssa's struggles seem to mimic those of humans while at the same time it was her wolf who attacked Emmitt. And poor Emmitt having to even have the discussion w/himself let alone the Alpha that if needed he will kill Lyssa. How could you even have the thought when it's your mate your talking about.

I will continue to follow Lyssa and Emmitt until they reach a happiness due them. And hope that when that happens you might write more about some of your other characters.

her wolf and her have not reached a balance point, and her wolf is acting only on survival instinct

Such a heart-wrenching situation. I wouldn't know how to resolve it, and I can't wait to see how you do it.

This is so tragic!

I like this story because you've kept it realistic. Well, as realistic as you could write a fictional story about werewolves. I like how the characters have real dialog and not everything is a witty comeback. Also how Lyssa has different problems because she is a turned werewolf. Such as healing slowly and still keeping her human morals, particularly about killing. I also like how she hasn't gotten pregnant yet and has real emotions towards her pack members. Such as jealously and longing over the new mother and her baby, or jealously with regards to Madeline taking on Beta duties as well, even with Joana for coming out of the kidnapping ordeal almost completely unscathed. It's not the average fairy tale plot.

However I can't stand the Wyeth Alphas!! OMG!! The worst Alpha pair I have ever read in a werewolf story! From how they messed with Emmets courting and rushing the process for them, giving Lyssa no choice, either be with Emmet or die. Really? She was already having trouble believing werewolves were real, even with Emmet shifting right in front of her (great description on the shift btw). So her first issue is really, "do I love Emmet or am I with him just to be alive and I've somehow come to love him?"

Then the Alpha, Randall, doesn't do a through investigation and irrationally tells Lyssa that she's gonna be Thomas's mate. Even if they had sex and mated, it would've been seen as rape and should have been voided, resulting in Emmet killing Thomas. Second trauma for Lyssa, "Near-rape experience and being forces to live her life stuck with a man she doesn't know or want and be considered his wife!"

So Emmet and Lyssa run away. Instead of the Alpha communicating with Emmet that Thomas has been found in the wrong and Emmwt can claim Lyssa as his and come home, they decided to separate them and attack them to bring them home. Now Lyssa has two more problems resulting from this, "1st, she's scared her and Emmet will eventually be caught and killed and they have to live what's left of their lives on the run, and 2nd, she'll never live down that she shot the Alpha's daughter and almost killed her."

Well they return and everything's good for a while except when they get kidnapped. Now comes more torture for her. She's kept drugged and unconscious, chained, sitting in her own filth, not fed, beaten, near-rapped again, and all her body ends up all torn up. While Joana is not physically harmed in any way. And how do the Alphas react when Joana is safely home? Now they hxan have her 18th bday party. And when Stephanie brings up waiting for Lyssa to come home, the Alpha bitch growls at her? Seriously? She's Alpha, she should care about every single pack members safety, especially her females! And then when Lyssa is a little pissy at Joana and actually has some real emotions, the Alpha bitch gets mad and orders Lyssa to stay away from her. OMG!!! She's been through a lot of shit in one year! The Alpha bitch didn't even give two shits when her own daughter was first reported kidnapped!! She should understand a persons emotions and how to deal with it! Come on already!!!

And when you think the Alphas have done all they could to break Lyssa, think again. Now Randall forces her to kill the Ross wolf. Even after hearing her uncertainty, it's like "Oh well, deal with it cause I said so and you should feel honered."

Then the Alpha bitch is getting on Lyssa about the gas tank? The first time she brings a car back empty and she gets on her for that? She's been working overtime at the warehouse implementing a new software, she planned your daughters bday party single handedly, not to mention saving your daughters life and taking a fuckin beating!!

Now the Alphas think she's unstable and are considering putting her down for the safety of the pack. Uhh, yeah of course she's unstable, look at all the shit you put her through in such a short time!! And instead of finding treatment for her, their being extreme yet again in their always irrational decisions, and choosing to "put her down". Enough already! Seriously dude, worst Alphas ever!! And they have more sex scenes than any other couple in your story! Even more than Emmet and Lyssa and it's supposed to be their story!!

I hope you fix them in the next chapter, and they really make it up to Lyssa somehow. They really fucked her life up!

Good job with the other characters though!

The Alphas really suck. It doesn't feel like they are really trying to help at all. But I'm very excited to learn what happens with Emmett and Lyssa...Your doing great can't wait for more =D

write more, im totally hooked on this story!!!

I started this story because of the high rating. I slogged my way through the first story trying to give credit to a first time author for a (somewhat) well thought out plot. I just knew all the way through the second story that you would get an editor. Now, I really don't know if I even care enough to finish.

It isn't just the constant switching of tense ie "Her scent fills the room but he also catches the scent of her mother and brother. Other than that were some older, female scents, one from the Beta female." *shudder* that is getting to me. It's also the implausibility of described actions i.e. playing with a breast with one hand while the other "cirles her waist", while his fingers unbutton... wait, what? Does he have a third hand somewhere. Of course, we can't forget about periods in the place of commas. All of this will probably get me called a grammar nazi.

It isn't just the grammar, punctuation, tense changes, view changes etc etc etc that has started to get to me, it's the character development. Lyssa has had a lot thrown on her but she feels the need to endure it with stoic silence because no one would understand. She choses to believe that she isn't going to have pups with no evidence to support that. The Alpha's are selfish and self-absorbed (see anonymous's comment from 2/12/12). Erich falls for someone who admittedly doesn't know how to drive but she is suddenly capable of being a Beta?! Calvin has lost all of my sympathy because first he lets his pack down by trying to follow his mate into death, then he turns control of the pack over to his son even though he isn't very sure of his Alpha ability, and finally, when he SEES the evidence of what his son has done and is doing to his pack, he just abandons them again to chase after a new piece of tale less than a year after his mate of 60 years, the one he was willing to follow into the grave, dies!

Sorry, too much wrong and too little right to keep me reading.

Dren Kara