The Cult

Wow. Unexpected surprise. I sat down beside her. "I'm not holding her here. She's here of her own choice. I have no desire to hurt her. Just the opposite."

"Who are you kidding? Look at this place! We live in a tiny efficiency apartment. With you, here, she's in the lap of luxury. How can she resist it? I know you give her money. She's not a whore. She only dances. That's all. She's not like some of the others."

"I know, Lilith. Is it wrong that I open my home to her? I ask nothing. I allow her to do what she desires. I provide funds for the upkeep and she's generous enough to do some shopping. I'm not paying her to be here, although I would gladly if she would take it. I'm grateful to her for trying to help me in my work. It's important. Very important. She's doing a good thing."

"Are you fucking her?"

"No, Lilith. I have no knowledge of her in that manner. I consort with no women. I'm celibate. I have been since I first received my calling."

"Celibate?"

"Yes. Celibate. I have not engaged in conjugal relations with a woman in a very long time." All true. Over two months. To someone who was as used to getting laid as I was, it was a very long time.

"Why does she sleep with you?"

I stood and held my hand out to her. "Please, come with me."

She hesitantly took my hand and let me lead her to the back of the house. "This is her room when she is exhausted from working until two a.m. and coming over to help me. This is where she sleeps." I drew her over to the bathroom. "This is her bathroom, and those are her things." I waved my hand at the belongings. "Perhaps it is wrong in your eyes, but yes, I gave her money to buy whatever she needed for when she is here. She wanted to pay for it herself, but I encouraged her to save her money to take care of you." A little dig, I know.

After letting her look around a bit, I took her past two empty rooms, to my bedroom. "This is where I sleep. Alone. Look, I'm not immune to beautiful women. I'm a red-blooded man. I could not possibly sleep in a bed with your sister. I'm not that strong. It would tempt me too much."

I pulled her by the hand, striding purposefully to the study. "This is where I conduct much of my studies."

She looked around in wonder. "You have a lot of books. What are all those old papers?"

"Some are original, most are very precise copies of the oldest religious texts I can find. I prefer to go to the source for information, not through interpreted works. It's part of my research."

"What did you say you were doing?" she asked.

"I didn't say, but I don't mind telling you. A translation. I have a unique, unknown document which is the finest of its type ever discovered. I believe I was called to find it, and it is my purpose to translate it and make it known. It's a ... stressful task. I doubt its discovery and message will be welcomed."

"Then why do you do it?"

"I have no choice. It's my fate. Not one I would have chosen."

I was still holding her hand, and could feel its moistness. I led her slowly back out to the living area, where I urged her to sit down.

"Let me be frank with you. Open your eyes, Lilith. I'm wealthy. I've been told I'm not bad looking. At one point in my life, I had many women. Many. Do you honestly believe I would have difficulty finding female companionship?"

She stared into my eyes for a moment, then lowered hers. "No. I'm sure you'd have no problem at all."

"My life has taken a turn. I feel I have a larger purpose. Meaning. Your sister is a comfort. Not a sex toy. She makes my life easier, and I love her for it." I moved closer to the young woman and put my arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry I was cruel to you earlier. I judged too quickly." I laughed. "Believe me, sweet child, I too have a bevy of faults. I am hardly infallible."

I leaned over and lifted her by the chin, making her look at me. "I understand now. It was a sham. You love your sister. With all your heart. The words were not against her, they were meant to deter me. Second guess her purpose, perhaps. You want to protect her from further hurt. This is a good and courageous thing, confronting me when you knew nothing of me. I love you for that."

"You can't say you love me. You don't even know me."

"You're wrong, Lilith. I love you for what you've done. I'm not in love with you, and I have no desire to make love to you. I simply love you for who you are. Can you accept that?"

"Is that how you love Bethany?"

"Yes, but even deeper. I've had more time to see the wonderful person she is. You know that, don't you? How incredible a person your sister is?"

She nodded. "I can't let you hurt her. She's the best person in the world."

I felt a tear in my eye and was momentarily astounded how deeply into this role I could sink, and how easily. "You may be right. The best person I've ever met. You're a very lucky woman to have her in your life."

"Promise me. Promise me you won't destroy her."

I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "I promise."

Okay, I know. I'm a bastard. Don't judge me, until you've got something that looks like this sweet young thing on the hook.

"Why don't you stay? I can make you something to eat. I'll answer any questions you have. Stay until your sister arrives. We can talk then."

"Aren't I taking you away from your work?"

"There is no work more worthy than the healing of a soul, or the comforting of one in need."

"Do you think that's what I am?"

"I think you are more important to me than anything else I could possibly be doing," I told her softly.

"Why? You don't even know me?"

I sat back in the couch, relaxing. I let my eyes become unfocused, gazing forward. I remained quiet long enough for her to start squirming.

"Yes. The rest can wait. I'm here for you, Lilith. How can I serve you?"

"Serve me?"

"I'm free to answer any question. I'll hide nothing from you. If you're not happy with my answers, I will support you in any decision you make about your sister. I will send her away if you so desire. What can I do for you? How can I help you understand? Command me."

"I ... I don't want to command you."

"Sweet child. I am but a tool. Wield me. Give me a purpose, and I swear I will fulfill it."

"Do you swear you don't have sex with her?"

"We don't engage in coitus. There are times when I do get excited. When I get an erection. I can't help it. I have desires and needs. I struggle to set them aside as a distraction. She has used her hand to ... relieve me."

"Isn't that a sin? How can you do God's work if you're doing that?"

"I'm single. Your sister is single. I avoid thinking lustful thoughts, as does she. She performs it as a loving service. I accept it in the spirit it's given." I bowed my head. "I would prefer not to, but it's difficult. As a vessel for His works, I am a poor, poor example. I'm weak. I try, Lilith, as God is my witness, I try."

"You're not excited by my presence though, are you?"

"No, I am not. I could be, easily. You are quite beautiful you know, both inside and out. For some reason, God has found it necessary to tempt me. Bethany is the physical and spiritual incarnation of my desires. Why she would be chosen to be my companion during this period of celibacy is beyond my understanding. I won't question it."

"You like her that much?"

"I love her that much."

She got quiet for a second. "What are you translating?"

I tried to portray a struggle. I sat back again, quiet, glazed eyed. I maintained it longer. Blinking with exaggeration, I turned to her. "Whatever you want to know. I have a complete extant copy of the Gospel of Mary. There are only four partial copies known. The fact that there are that many shows it was an important work nearly nineteen hundred years ago. I am translating it."

"It's important?"

"Very. I'm only a couple of pages into the translation, and already the findings are devastating to the Christian faith as we know it."

"Why?"

"Mary Magdalene was the foremost disciple of Jesus. The closest to him both spiritually and physically," I explained.

"Physically?"

"Yes. She was his lover. His companion in every sense of the word. She did not bear him children."

"That paper says that?"

"Without equivocation."

"Bethany is more involved than just as a maid, isn't she?"

I nodded. "She has been chosen to be the first to receive the word. To carry it to others. I ... I'm afraid for her. This is not an easy or even desirable task."

"She was chosen? How?"

"I'd prefer not to answer. I don't think you're ready for the answer. I believe it will set us back."

"You said I could command you. You're my tool. I get to wield you. How was she chosen? How do you know for sure? She's nobody special. Why would God choose someone like her? A stripper."

"Why would Jesus choose someone like Mary Magdalene? A woman possessed by demons. According to many, a fallen woman. Yet she became the right hand of Jesus. Supporting his followers, providing money when needed, comforting him, learning. The disciple to the disciples. The one person that most accounts agree first saw the risen Christ."

"But how did you know?"

"Please, Lilith."

"Answer me! You're mine to command!"

"He ... God communicates with me."

"Communicates? How?"

"He speaks to me, Lilith. It was He who told me where to find the document, in a vast desert. He who told me what my role was. And He guided me to your sister. I'm sorry. I wouldn't share that burden with anyone if I had a choice. It's too difficult. Too dangerous. I'm sorry."

"He ... he spoke to you tonight, didn't he?"

I nodded slowly. "Twice."

"He gave you to me to command."

"He did."

"That was more important than your studies, your translation?"

"Apparently. It is not mine to question. When He speaks, I obey. I ... I cannot do otherwise."

"If I told you to get up and run around the building naked, you'd do it, wouldn't you?"

"I would. But you wouldn't. You're not mean or capricious, and He knows that."

"Do it. Strip and run around the building."

Damn, she was turning out to be a pain. Rotten thing. Why couldn't she be more like her sister?

I took off my robe and pulled off my shorts. I started toward the doorway, and she jumped off the couch and ran to me, grabbing my arm. "You would, wouldn't you?"

"Whatever you need in this moment, Lilith."

She took me by the hand and brought me back to the couch. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"I stand by my previous statement. You are neither mean nor capricious. If you needed me to do that for you, there is a reason. I will not question it."

She looked down at my crotch. "Aren't I pretty? How come she's the only one that excites you? Is it because God chose her for you?"

"My celibacy is my choice. Not a directive. I chose to avoid the temptation. God has not taken away my desire. I'm not even sure the decision is the correct one, but I prefer to live by it. Relationships in the past were ... distracting."

"Are you saying you could get excited over me? If I chose to wield you in that way? You would do it?"

"Yes. You are immensely desirable. Second only to your sister in my eyes. More beautiful than she is. One word, one whisper, one touch, and I would not be able to resist you. I would ask you not to do that to me."

She grinned mischievously, sidling closer. "One touch, like this?" she asked, running her tender young hand along the inside of my thigh. She brought her lips to my ear. "One whisper, telling you that I desire you as well. That I would give myself to you."

She took my earlobe between her teeth and nibbled on it. "One word, to convey the extent of that offer?" She hesitated a second, then clearly, quietly spoke. "Virgin."

I leaned backward, as if escaping, allowing a soft whimper to escape my lips. She pursued me, wickedly, her hand grasping my cock, as it hardened in her grasp.

"You act all high and mighty," she snarled, "Better than us, but you're just a man, aren't you? You want me like they all do. I can see it, feel it, smell it on you."

I closed my eyes and spoke softly. "I never denied it. You are extremely desirable. I would not act on it. I beg you not to. Don't do this to me, Lilith. Please."

"Mine to command, you said. He said. He gave you to me. Mine to wield. I think I'd like to wield this sword." She held my cock firmly in her hand stroking it.

"Not like this. I will answer your questions, provide guidance. Help you to understand. I will keep nothing from you about my work or my relationship with your sister. You don't have to do this. It was not His intention."

She barked a vicious little laugh. "Oh, so now you presume to know His intention? Perhaps this is exactly what he wanted. Show you your folly. Did he ask you to be celibate? Why would he call a stripper and 'fallen Angel' to your side, if not for this? Who died and made you God, Holy man? You're mine, and this what I want. I want you to lust for me. Desire me. You will spill your wicked seed for me, and want to do it over and over again. The hell with your self-imposed celibacy."

She leaned over me, her face in front of mine. She was kind of scaring me, to be honest. This was not what I had planned, by any means. I watched her anxiously, as she lowered her lips to mine, taking my lower lip in hers and biting it. Hard. She released it, and licked me, long and slow, from low on my neck, up my face, across my cheek to my temple. Her hand was maintaining a slow steady pace up and down my rod.

"What's that I taste, holy man? Fear? Shame? Lust?" She turned her head sideways and licked me across my mouth, from cheek to cheek. "Mmmm, Desire, I believe, with just a hint of Desperation, and, could it be, Submission?"

She licked me again her free hand reaching up and grabbing my hair, tilting my head back fiercely. She moved her mouth down to my neck, and bit down, sucking away, marking me.

"Now you're mine," she said gleefully, pulling away. "The sign of Lilith. Not just his anymore, mine. He gave you to me. I choose that you no longer be celibate. Show me your weakness, holy man. Surrender."

She was getting me close. God, what a wicked young girl! "Don't, I'm begging you, don't be my Delilah. I'm not strong enough."

"Your Delilah? Like Samson?"

"She took his strength. He recovered enough, to destroy his enemies in the end. I don't have that kind of strength. If you strip it from me, I ... I don't know what I'll do. Please, Lilith. Please leave me this."

She laughed pulling away. "No." Her hands came together, jerking me off viciously, painfully. "Come for me, you sniveling weakling. You're not all that special. Just another man, guided by his urges. Come for me. Do it. Squirt. You know you can't help it. Don't fight it, come, come, come!"

I started pushing back against her grip, and her hands moved faster, a little less painful, as the grip slackened a bit. "That's it, I can feel it. Come, Holy man. Come. Come, damn it. Shoot for me. Give it to me. It's mine. You're mine. Gimme."

I groaned, exploding against my will, shooting strongly, my seed pumping out, pouring over her hand. She laughed as I finished, then wiped her messy hand across my chest. "Just a man, that's all you are."

I caught my breath, and bit the inside of my lip hard, dug my fingers into my palms, gouging myself until I felt the moistness appear in my eye. It had been difficult, and I tasted the iron of my blood and pushed it to my lips.

"I never said otherwise, Lilith. I know my own weakness. I'm a common man, who's been asked to do an uncommon thing. I didn't seek it out. I don't want it. I don't want any of it!," I shouted, letting the tears work their way from my eyes.

"You do it, Lilith. Please. Take this burden from me. Translate the ancient Greek. Prove the documents authenticity. Let the whole damn religious world fall on you like a ton of bricks, when you offer up the message, that Jesus was just a man. He had needs. He slept with his disciple. You tell the world that, and then try to live with yourself." I let my voice rise in the telling, a little blood working its way down my chin.

"Why me! Why torture me with her and you! Damn it! I don't deserve this. I'm trying Lord, but this is too much. Too fucking much." I pulled away from her, pushing her aside. "I won't do it."

I saw the look of despair on her face, as I grabbed my robe, and pulled it on, heedless of the mess I'd made. "Joshua?" she whispered, looking down at her hands, and wiping them on her shirt, shamefully. "I didn't mean ..."

"Forget it, Lilith. I should have expected it. It's who you are, isn't it? Lilith, Queen of the Night, who falls upon men without warning, and leads them astray from a spirit of understanding, to make their heart and their soul desolate. Adam's first companion, before Eve, who abandoned him, and took up with Angel Samael. The devil's companion. You play your part well. I hope you're happy."

I pulled away from her, and started walking away, but after a few steps, I stopped in mid-stride. I paused, shaking, an eternity trying to maintain that awkward pose. "No," I finally whispered. Then again, a little louder. "No. I won't."

With my eyes staring forward, unblinking, I could see her standing nearby, watching me. I dropped to my knees, hard. I'd have bruises the next day. "Why? Why?" I cried out painfully. I slowly bowed my head, a whipped man. I stood and faced her, pulling my robe back and letting it fall from my body.

"C ... command me," I whispered, my eyes turned away, unable to face her.

She stooped quickly, picking up my robe, trying to pull it over my shoulders. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry. So sorry, Joshua. I don't know why I did that."

I stood stiffly, making it hard for her to get my robe back on. "Command me," I repeated in a dead, monotonic tone.

"No, Joshua. I won't, I'm sorry."

"Command me," I repeated, eyes unfocused, unseeing.

"Please, come, let's sit back down. I didn't mean to hurt you."

At her words, I returned to the couch and sat stiffly. "Command me."

"Stop, don't do this. Why are you acting like this? Just relax, okay? I didn't mean anything. Nobody's hurt. Please, Joshua."

I settled back into the couch, following her unintentional command to relax. "Command me."

It was during this charged moment, of course, that Bethany would decide to make her appearance. She opened the door and entered. "Slow night, so they let me go half ... Lilith? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to him," Lilith said fearfully, standing up.

"Command me," I told her, seeing her stiffen.

"Command you?" Bethany asked, then she looked at the room, and shrieked. Several of the papers had fallen off the table, during our activities, and were lying about. "What happened? What have you done, Lilly? What have you done!"

"I didn't mean to," Lilith started, bending over to help pick up the parchment.

"No!" Bethany screamed at her. "Don't touch anything! What did you do? Why is he like that? Did you drug him? How could you? How could you ruin everything? Don't you understand how important this is? How important he is?"

She was carefully picking up each paper, examining it, placing it back on the table. Lilith stood shaking. "It was all an accident," she said softly.

"Accident! What happened?" Bethany screamed.

"Nothing," Lilith said. "Not really."

"Command me," I called out, feeling a little wicked. Serves the ornery minx right.

"Shut up!" Lilith screamed at me.

I saw Bethany haul back, and slap her sister across the face as hard as I'd ever seen anyone hit another person. Lilith was knocked sideways, to her knees.

"What did you do to him?" Bethany growled, through clenched teeth, standing over her sister.