The Cult

"I ... I didn't ..." she whimpered, sitting up a little, hand to her cheek, staring at her older sister in fear. "It's not my fault. God gave him to me."

"It's not ... God gave him to you?" Bethany thundered. Hell, I was getting scared, and I wasn't the one she was mad at.

"Mine to command. He said so," Lilith answered, growing a little more confident, slowly backing away from her sister, still on her hands and knees.

"Why?" Bethany asked, looking back at me, trying to sit perfectly still.

"To understand. What he's doing. Why you're needed. Everything."

"Why's he like that, then?" Bethany stalked after her sister, demanding an answer.

"I ... I'm sorry. I don't know why I did it. I swear I don't. Don't be mad. We can fix it. I'm sure."

"What did you do!"

"It was only a handjob. That was all. I don't know why he's so damn upset."

"You made him?"

"He was mine to command. God said so."

"What happened? I still don't understand. Why's he like this? What did you do?"

"I ... I think he didn't want to do it anymore, but God made him. All he does is sit there saying 'Command me'."

Bethany reached down and grabbed her sister by her fiery mane. She dragged her over, crying until she was kneeling in front of me. "Release him. Tell him you understand and release him."

"I understand and release you," Lilith said. I didn't like the way she said it, not sincere enough for my taste. I didn't move.

Bethany reached down and slapped her again, "Mean it. You have to mean it when you say it. You think God doesn't see what's in your heart? Every little black mark? Release him, you bitch."

Lilith stared at me, hard-hearted, her hand rubbing the redness of her cheek. It took a few seconds, and I saw her eyes soften, her entire demeanor followed shortly. She leaned forward, put her head on my leg, and the tears started. "I'm sorry Joshua. That was a terrible thing to do to you. I swear I don't know why I did it. Why I had to hurt you, humble you. You didn't deserve that. I understand what you're trying to do, and how important it is. I promise I won't interfere again. I'll never bother you again." She gasped for air, her body shaking. "I ... I release you, Joshua. I have no need to command you. I understand. I do. Please, come back. I'm sorry."

I let her words release me. I looked up at her sister, whose hand lifted quickly to her mouth, gasping. I gazed back down at Lilith, and brushed her hair back from her face, then wiped her tears away.

"You're forgiven, Lilly," I told her softly. I leaned over and picked her up bodily, pulling her into my lap sideways, holding her while she finished her crying jag. Bethany came over and sat beside me.

I pulled Lilith's hair back, exposing her blotchy, red-eyed crying face. "Was it enough, Lilly? Do you understand?" I asked softly.

She just cried louder, then hiccoughed shakily. She turned to me, her arms squeezing around my body, head pressed against my chest. "I'm sorry!" she shrieked. "Make it stop, Joshua. It hurts too much. Make it stop!"

I held her close, rocking with her, hushing her. "Shhh, baby. What hurts? Where does it hurt?"

She hiccoughed again, groaning. "In my chest," she whined, her entire body shaking when she hiccoughed again. "I'm sorry. Please, don't let him punish me, Joshua. (hiccough) I didn't mean it."

I put my hand on her chest, between her breasts, and rubbed her softly. "It's alright, beautiful. I promise. It's going to be alright. Relax, and let me hold you, and it will stop."

Her body shook, and I saw the worry in her face. "It hurts."

"I know. There's a cost for everything. Let me take this burden from you." I turned her in my lap until she was facing me, straddling my legs. "Hold me," I whispered to her, feeling her arms reach around me. I pulled her close, crushing her breasts to my chest, harder, tighter, until I knew she couldn't breathe. I held her there for several seconds, then released her. I jerked my body in sympathy to her pain, then squeezed her again, even longer, jerking my body stronger, before releasing her.

"No," she whispered. "You can't ..."

"Let me take it," I whispered.

She whimpered when I squeezed her again, for a long time, maybe 20 seconds. At the end, I gave a sharp squeeze and whimpered slightly as I released her. She looked at me in fear. "You ... you didn't ..."

"It's over now, Lilly. Whatever drove you to that, whatever you needed," I closed my eyes, grimacing, jerking back into the couch, "I understand. I do. All's forgiven."

Bethany leaned against me, a silent watcher until then. "How, Joshua? How can you forgive her so easily?"

"Because she needs it, of course," I explained.

Lilith was lying against me, her arms loose, breathing softly. I caressed her back, and she settled against me.

"What she did, was it bad?" Bethany asked.

"Difficult for me. I don't know why she wanted to hurt me."

"She ... she's been hurt by men. By our father, our uncles. I tried to protect her growing up, but I couldn't always. It's why I was afraid to bring her to meet you. She has issues with men, particularly men in positions of authority."

"I'm sorry I hurt her, Bethany. I never meant to." I held the little bundle of pain carefully, kissing the top of her head.

"You didn't hurt her. She hurt you," Bethany argued.

"In doing so, she was hurt. I wouldn't want that for her. I wish there was another way."

"Is she going to be alright?"

"She'll be fine. She had a long and stressful evening."

The young girl moved in my arms. "I can hear you, I'm not dead," she whispered.

I gave her a little squeeze. "Feeling better?" I asked.

"Yeah, my face still stings."

I tilted her head back and rubbing the reddened surface gently. I kissed her cheek softly. "I think that one will stay for a while. I'm sorry about that. Only your sister can remove the pain there."

Lilith looked up at Bethany. "Sorry Beth. I didn't mean to mess things up. I only wanted to help."

Bethany leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry too. I'd take away the pain if I could. I can't do stuff like that. Only he can."

"You really have a calling?" Lilith asked her sister, squirming a little in my arms until she was comfortable.

"Yes. Not like his. Nobody talks to me, or anything. That first night, though, I knew it. Knew my purpose. I'll be whatever he needs, do whatever I can to make his life easier. I know it, I absolutely know it. That's my purpose."

"How can you know that? How does it work? You just suddenly know?" Lilith asked.

"No. I was lying in my bed. The bed he let me use, praying for guidance. I ... I saw an image of Mary with Him, and I knew it. I knew it then, that my purpose was the same as hers. To be his companion in any way he'd let me."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Oh no! The opposite. I felt peace, total and complete peace for maybe the first time in my life when I accepted that as my purpose. I went to him, and told him, and he held me, accepting me. From that moment on, everything's been so much better. I have no worries, no concerns, no doubts about what I'm doing. Even the dancing doesn't bother me anymore. I understand, you know? It was meant to be. I have a purpose, Lilly. It's ... it's wonderful."

"What's my purpose?" Lilith asked softly.

"I don't know," Bethany said nervously.

I gave Lilith a hug. "Nobody can determine that but you, Angel. You're young, maybe it's too early for you to worry about that. You can always pray and ask for guidance."

She shook her head. "I don't pray. I wouldn't know how. I'm not like her. I don't believe in God or the church. I've never gone."

"I'm sorry. That must be very lonely. Can I tell you a secret?"

She nodded.

"I stopped going to the church when I was a teenager. I didn't believe. It was very difficult for me to accept my calling, standing in the middle of town in Istanbul, Turkey, a damn voice ringing in my head. I thought I was going insane. I fought it for a long time. I was desperately unhappy. Until I surrendered and let it guide me. I still don't understand everything or know if I believe in the church or not. My grandmother would die to hear me say that."

"But all the stuff you're doing?" Lilith whispered.

"Once I accepted my purpose and His meaning in my life, it became easy. I didn't ask for it, and there are times when it seems difficult, but when I release my feelings, the hard part passes, and I'm happy again."

"I didn't mean to make it difficult for you," Lilith said.

I laughed. "Yes, you did. You meant it. You needed to. I won't hold it against you. Sometimes we don't choose our paths, and for a while there, you were set on one whether you liked it or not. It was what you had to do, to understand. It's okay, beautiful. I still love you."

"You can't. It's not fair," she sniffled.

"I do. Sorry. That's the way it goes. I'm not going to lie to you. It's not what I feel for your sister. She ... somehow she completes me. But you, you're part of her; it's easy to see for anyone looking. And she's part of you. That part screams out to me. It's part of the reason that what you did was so difficult, that had me questioning my purpose. Maybe I needed it too. Thank you."

"Thank you? You're thanking me?" She sat up a little, that adorable face looking up into my eyes.

I leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. "Yes. Thank you. My purpose, though wavering for a moment, is stronger than ever. Thank you for testing me."

Her eyes misted up, and she threw her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry. I'll never test you again. I swear, Joshua."

I chuckled, giving her a squeeze. "Silly girl. Your mere presence is a test. I wasn't lying about my feelings for you. But it's okay. If I can survive your sister, I can certainly handle you."

"My presence?" Bethany interrupted. "What's wrong with my presence?"

I turned to look at her. I reached out and pulled her close, then pressed my lips to hers softly. "I burn for you, constantly. You must know that. It's a test of my willpower, every time I see you."

"You can have me," she said softly. "I'd like that. I want that."

"No. I can't. Better this way. I love you, my dear sweet fallen Angel, but for now, that desire I have for you, I prefer to focus on my work. I've never been so productive as when you're around. You are helping me more than you could possibly imagine."

"But maybe, someday?" she asked softly.

"I hope so. I pray for it every night. That God will let me know when I can accept you totally. It's my ultimate dream."

She smiled. "I pray for it too. I think I'm going to do a lot more praying for it."

I felt Lilith's body resting against mine, breathing slowly and calmly. "I think your sister's had a tough time today. Would you both like to stay?"

Bethany giggled. "I don't think you're tough enough to kick me out. I'm staying." She looked down at her sister, who appeared to be at least half-asleep. "We're staying."

I scooped Lilith into my arms and stood with her. She turned and cuddled into me. Bethany got up and led the way into her bedroom. It had a queen sized bed, and she turned down the covers. I laid her sister down on the bed, and together we undressed her, down to her panties and bra, and covered her with the sheets.

The little faker opened her eyes and smiled at me. "Did I test you again?" she asked teasingly.

I laughed, leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Wicked girl. Yes. That was difficult. You're even more desirable, half-naked and seemingly helpless. Go to sleep now, and I'll try to do the same."

She reached out and grabbed my hand. "Thank you. I don't know how you could do that, surrender to me like that. Then taking the pain onto yourself. Thanks, Joshua."

"You're welcome, Lilly." I gave her another chaste kiss and left her.

Bethany followed me out, back to the living room. "She didn't mess up any of your papers, did she?"

I checked on everything and it looked fine. Most of the older, authentic pieces would be hard to damage. They were pressed between sheets of hard lucite. "No, no damage, we're fine."

"I feel horrible. You wasted an entire evening you could have been working."

"No, Bethany. It wasn't a waste at all. I honestly believe that your sister will be more help than hindrance after tonight. It will make my work moving forward easier."

She came closer to me, agonizingly close. "Did you mean it? You burn for me?"

I nodded. "I told your sister as much. God has chosen you to test me. You are the living embodiment of perfection both physically and spiritually."

She smiled. "I'm not perfect, Joshua. Far, far from it."

I pulled her close and hugged her. "You are wrong. If I could design the perfect woman, it would be you."

"Can I relieve you, tonight?" she asked softly. "I can feel you hard against me."

"I'd like that."

I was surprised when she took me by the hand and silently led me to my bedroom. She started the shower, removed my robe, and then undressed herself. She led me into the shower, and washed my body, thoroughly. She rubbed herself against me, and it was difficult to keep from mauling her. When she proclaimed me clean, she dried me and brought me to my bed.

She had her hand on my painful erection and smiled up at me. "No lustful thoughts now," she teased. Then she moved between my legs and gave me one of the most gentle and loving blowjobs I'd ever had.

I leaned back and enjoyed it, wondering how long it would be before I had her sister doing the same.

I came for her, and she was careful to make sure I didn't suffer the 'Sin of Onan'. She climbed up the bed, pressing her naked body against mine. "Can I stay here with you a while, Joshua?"

I pulled her close. "Of course. For a while." I held her in silence letting her get comfortable.

"Bethany?" I said softly.

"Mmmhmmm," she answered sleepily.

"We may have to go back to using your hand only. I ... I had lustful thoughts just now. I'm sorry."

"Can't you pray for forgiveness?" she asked.

"Yes. I will. But doing it when I know I'll be sinning isn't right. Hands only for a while, okay?"

"I'm sorry. I only wanted to help."

"It was wonderful, Bethany. Truly wonderful, and I needed it tonight. I can't thank you enough. But you're too hard to resist. I came very close to trying to do more. Much more."

"I would never stop you," she whispered, her hand caressing my chest.

"I know. That makes it even more difficult. That I could do it if I wanted."

She kissed my chest. "Your body says you'd like me to do it again." She reached down and stroked my resurrected shaft.

"Of course I would. You are so beautiful, lying here next to me naked. You have to wear panties or something in the future. Please. I ... I'm afraid I'm too weak. Can you do that for me?"

"I will. Can I relieve you again?"

"Please."

"With my mouth?"

I sighed. "One last time."

"Thank you."

It was a long, glorious one last time before I was groaning and filling her sexy mouth again. I lay there, wondering about the morality of what I was doing, the deception, taking advantage of her, of both of them. I wondered how much longer I could keep it up.

I also gave a lot of thought to how to move it forward. Most of the time so far, I'd been reactive, playing a role, letting things go where they would. For once, I had the inklings of a plan. God, forgive me, I'm such an immoral bastard.

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Cult 102: Create Initial Trappings

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My morning run was longer than usual. I beat myself up a little. I actually do have a conscience, and it took an effort to hammer it into submission. I was thinking through my plans, ordering them, working out details, my body on autopilot.

My breathing was becoming ragged, my legs aching, as I passed the house, spotting the sisters watching, conversing conspiratorially.

I slowed, having no idea how far I'd run, or for how long, but the sweat pouring off my body led me to believe it had been a long time. I staggered to the door, my shins sore, my calves cramping. Bethany met me wrapping my robe around me, guiding me indoors. Her sister followed us closely.

My escorts took me to the bathroom, my shorts were removed, and I was placed under the shower. This was different behavior from Bethany, and I stayed silent as she undressed, and started to clean me. I was interested to see what she was up to. Her sister watched, then stripped down to her panties and joined us.

"What's wrong with him?" Lilith asked, soaping my chest.

"Shhh, he gets like this sometimes, usually when working. I think God's communicating with him. Although the way he was running, like a madman, he might be fighting his demons."

"He's gonna be alright, isn't he?"

"Yes, we have to be patient and help him."

Having two beautiful women in the shower with me, one naked, one very nearly so, was having its expected effect. As they rubbed me, soaped me, and rinsed me, I grew hard.

"He's excited," Lilith whispered.

Bethany soaped my cock and started to stroke it. "He's not excited, he doesn't hardly know we're here. His body is responding to our touch."

"Do you think you should be doing that? He got so upset when I did," Lilith said.

"Try it. He won't get upset. There's nothing wrong with providing his release, as long as it's not lustful. There's no sin, and it doesn't interfere with his celibacy."

Lilith's hand stroked my shaft, along with her sister's. I struggled not to respond. Lilith moved closer, leaning against me. "I was mean last night. I made him do it with lust, I teased him. I didn't know." The young girl sounded upset.

"You were forgiven. He loves you. It's alright now. We have to be gentle with him. He's weak when it comes to us. We mustn't tease him."

"You're sure he's going to be alright?" Lilith asked.

"Be patient, Lilly."

They were quiet, stroking me, and Bethany started kissing my shoulder. "Come back to us, Joshua," she pleaded softly.

I did my best to stay still, as my cock erupted shortly after. They continued stroking me, milking me. I sighed and stretched. Lilith jerked her hand away, but her sister kept going gently. I turned to Bethany, acting surprised by her presence. I embraced her and kissed her softly.

"Good morning, Angel. I have tasks I have to do today."

She grinned, her hand slow to release me. "I figured it was something like that," she said.

I acted shocked to see Lilith in the shower with us and covered myself. "Good morning, Lilith." I made a scene, acting confused about where I was. I turned to look away from her. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here. I hope I didn't offend you."

"Beth said I could help. That's okay, isn't it?"

"I ... I don't know. I haven't heard."

Bethany was still rubbing me. My front, now that I was facing her. "God didn't say she couldn't, did He?"

"No. He's told me nothing about Lilith except that I must answer all her questions honestly."

"Still? She released you."

"She can't command me. I still feel compelled to answer her questions."

Lilith slid around me, looking up at me nervously. I turned my face away from her nudity. I think I pulled it off pretty well.

"Am I ugly, Joshua?" she asked. "Tell me the truth."

I shook my head. "I cannot do otherwise, Lilith. No, you are not ugly. You are beautiful."

"Does my body offend you?" she asked.

"Lilly! Don't," Beth snapped.

"No, your body is magnificent," I said firmly.

Lilith faced her sister. "I'm not being mean, sis. I don't understand."

"Ask, Lilith. Your understanding is most important to me. I can't perform my other tasks until I'm confident you understand. So please ask, I have critical things to do today."

"See? You're interfering with his work," Bethany snapped.