by Scorpio44
Totally fucked up logic, Scorpio, go jump off a tall building, I'm sure gravity won't work on you, and NEVER write again.
I enjoyed this story most of the way. I would have probably given you 100, but you just had to spoil it by having that idiotic argument with the preacher. Sorry, your arguments are childish at best. Why did you have to ruin this read? Please think of the intelligence of your readers before you use that kind of loose logic again.
Loved this chapter, i hope you will continued the story soon that we can read what happens next.
It is a little left field, and the logic of this story eludes me, but I'm enjoying it even if i don't really understand who is in love who or having sex with who or why?
But don't mind me.
was this supposed to be a love fest, weedy, 1960 fuck any thing that feels good story? <p>
wtf! I didn't even know where I the story lost me... I started reading a story and then smewhere it became a love fest continuous orgies where the characters started tearing down each other's guest rooms because any loving can drive to any other loving member's home and fuck any thing on sight. <p>
what a fuckin' bummer
Until you started selling poly it was far out but goofy enough not to take seriously or be offended by.<P>
When you decided to convert the congregation into a commune and become the head nut the story that you had worked so hard on was lost to ludicrous absurdity of the highest selfishness imaginable.<P>
One could say you should move to Texas before there are children that will be bastards but named Smith because no one really knows who daddie was. Explain that to children 10 to 20 years old who have a medical emergency need a kidney that matches daddie or plan to be married to one of the other 60 Smiths in the neighborhood.<P>
You took this story from amusingly silly to grossly supportive of all that can be wrong in fucking around at ones selfish whim without concern for who or how many get hurt downstream.<P>
Silliness can be entertaining - humor can be absurd - here you are selling death to a caring life in disguise of gee who gets hurt in a free love bastardization of selfish want.<P>
I hate to bring up the grape koolaid solution or Waco but humorously do in this absurd arena. Not funny either eh.<P>
You are better than this author - well you have been before.<P>
Such a waste of talent. Puzzling!!!
outstanding writing.Willlook forward to future tales of cosequences sandy.
on this one. It just turned into one big cluster fuck. Sorry
Over and over again you write one great story after another. I love the characters, the plots, and the philosophy. Keep up the fine work.
R
To hell with those who don't like it. That's why their reading and not writing!! Everyones a critic! Just keep up the good work and please continue this story and your 'Leaving the Navy' series. You've left us hanging to long with that series. You are an awesome writer regardless of what some may say. Smooches darling!!
The Princess
I love your stories and those of romantic 1 your views on poly are wonderful and I am glad they arnt all caught up in a in religion. I am making my hubby understand this logic and is starting to see it. I find it sad the people have to put christian thoughts in to stories or make the assumption that if you don't follow the major three that you don't have morals sorry they do not have the monopoly on morals. Anyway from a Female fan keep the writing going.
When I read the comments of those self-righteous religious anonymous cowards, I instantly knew that they never encountered LOVE.
Continue providing such well written stories just to please you and us.
I liked all of them, unfortunately there were a number of distractions in the form of misused words, misspellings and sometimes it was hard to tell who was speaking. I read the "Scammed" story first, which is excellent. I have been measuring all the others against it.
srgeek
If you aren't writing commercially, you should be.. Love your work..! Never stop.. Please.. And, yes.. perhaps you need a proof reader/editor to smooth out typo's and discontinuity's, but always readable, emotive and philosophical.. Superb!
Your Polyamorous stories leave me craving for that type of loving relationship... still getting used to the 'sharing' among family members (if it can be called that? Perhaps there is another, better word other then sharing).
Another genre that leaves me wanting is Your BDSM stories. While You may or may not write yourself into the lead male characters, I do see You, or certain characteristics, in most of them.
Is Chapter 3 of this story waiting to be submitted????
*Hopes so*
I can see where some people would get offended, but, in my oppinion it shows how already having a negitive opponion of something does not allow you to see the beauty, or other more "positive" emotions of it.
The love of fellow man (or woman) is missing from the many anonymous persons who leave such negative comments.
I found no place in the entire text where any person was coerced into a polyamorous relationship. The offer was made and either accepted or not. Too bad that the "Christian" element lost sight of the fact that the "Church" does not have a lock on morality, ethics, or responsible relationships. Many of the "Christian" persons that I know do not understand that love never is judgemental and they definitely do not understand 1 Cor 13.
But then, most Christians only use those scriptures that define a personal agenda that bears little relationship to the life that Christ described for his followers. I feel that you as an author have described love much more realistically than most persons of my acquaintance, keep it coming!
Scorpio excellent as always. Can't wait to read the next one. I had to hurry thru this last part as I they are cutting the electric to do some work so I get the joy of rereading it. I agree with the earlier comment You should write commercially.
great writing....now as paul harvey would say....for the rest of the story....
I tried to stay with this story, but it started to make me ill.
and got a bit confusing as to what was going on or who was doing what with who. Stories like this are good entertainment but I get a bit fed up with long, boring over-descriptive sex scenes. They are just not needed - we all - I think - have good imaginations and can work out what goes on when they get in bed for a good 'romp amongst the haystacks'.
Some people can get over proscriptive when giving feedback. I tend to let the story flow, overlooking the parts where there might be some lack of continuity, and absorb the whole.
Now, when will there be more chapters in the story?? - There's certainly room for expansion and closure...
I was into this story until the main protagonist started offering his wife for other people to fuck. At that point I stopped reading. Too bad, the story had real potential.
hawkeye then you are not ment for a poly relationship.. read up and understand them more.. ps love it want more of this story
I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STOREY. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS. JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR STORIES. MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Left a comment after the first story, and like any other innocent started to read Ch.2. I was looking forward to a lazy enjoyable read, when some perisher stuck a pin in the author and made him take on a story line twist that almost came out of left field! Will someone please remind me not to read these stories on a full stomach - I can't think when I need to go to the toilet.
I like too much of what you do and love the endings - particularly when they take their time - but 3 years with no follow up???
Unless it shows up up some where else - like 44a?
Close up some of the old stuff??
but then became totally fucked up with him fucking all the women and his wife fucking other men....she and the others became nothing better than cheating fuck slut whores...what a fucking mess it got in to and then the crap talked about with the pastor was just unbelievable garbage....can see all the women getting pregnant and no one will know who the fathers are....a complete and utter load of fucking bollocks...what started off as a nice love story just turned in to a fucked up orgy including the nurse and then the last one they helped move out....what a fucking mess
Gotta disagree with the last commenter, (another 'Anonymouse').
Sir Scorpio your remark on the self-aggrandisement and profiteering of organised religious groups is right along with my thinking.
I see many of the commenters have not the freedom of thought to consider that any-body with a collar the standard way round could possibly make a rational decision.
What a shame that people who enjoy erotica feel they have to lie, in that the clergy would surely 'tut-tut' and worse if the reader's predilections were made known.
I dare them to stand up in church, chapel, meeting house or whatever and discuss their preferred style of reading matter.
Dear Anononnymouse 12/15/13
"....what a fucking mess."
Welcome to real life. Where real people fumble their way through their lives in a fog of confusion. For those of you who go through life without any doubts or mistakes, someone needs to get you back on your psychoactive drugs before you blindly hurtle yourselves off the edge of your flat world.
A very educational story of love that is being spread around. I hope to read more stories like this.
I really liked this story, right up to the point where the story got lost in the sex. I know it's literotica and many readers here scream bloody murder if there isn't over the top sex in everything written, but sometimes less is more.
There was just too much swinging going on for my taste. Not everyone will feel the same as I do, and that's fine. The story deserves five stars for being so well written, but I would love to see a cleaner version. One in which married people only had sex with their spouse. In my opinion the story would take center stage and not the sex in that case. Just my opinion for what it's worth.
What an abrupt ending. You need to follow it up and finish it neatly.
Started out as a pretty good story until it turned into a guidebook for polygamy. And that's not my cup of tea. So thanks, but no thanks.
I enjoyed part . I barely got into page 2 of this part 2 when it dawned on me that this was polygamy and group sex and NOT ROMANCE! Shame on whomever put this chapter intoo Romance.
A lovely fable, but just a fable; like John Lennon’s “Imagine”.
Frank Redmont
What are the consequences of brainwashing a town into becoming a hippie commune where anything is acceptable, well because love man!
I usually like scorpio's stuff but this was nuts. I've read this kind of nonsense before. It was BS then and is BS now. When a pie gets shared around amongst a bigger and bigger crowd, guess what? The slices get SMALLER and people get LESS pie.
Was enjoying the entire story, even if it is/was a little different, then what? The author got tired and quit or did he get sick or die so that he couldn’t ‘FINISH THE DAMN STORY’!!!!
Might as well build one huge community house and have a fuck fest with the whole town. Lame story.
Lovely story. Wish there were more of it. It may be fiction, but there are actually people like the characters out in the world. That gives me hope for the human race.
The author turned the beautiful love story between Nick and Sandy into a group sex free for all. At that point it ruined the whole story. You should of quit at the end of chapter 1.
Very "Stranger in a Strange Land". Not quite my cup of tea, but he is the author and decides what to write. I must admit I would have suggested a different tag, so as to give readers advanced warning
Once he shared his wife and his two lovers with the Yard men Bill and John the story finished for me. The Hippy commune with all the sharing ruined it.
Scores 2/5 moving on to the next story
A great story with some truly awsome points,...BUT..
If you think a fundamentalist Christian is going to relinquish control of a conversation about Beliefs you're deciding yourself. They KNOW the answers, and discussion is repulsive. They NEVER compromise, EVER. ...They have GOD on their side.
Barry Goldwater said it in 1958. "God help us when these zealots gain power in Congress. To govern, you have to compromise. They don't even negotiate, they have God on their side."
To those who haven't found them yet: Go to the SCORPIO44A page for Chapters 3 & 4.
Long…… well written……… plenty of deep thoughts.
This plot has changed as its gone on, you have used it to tell a view of your thinking.
Well done in it.