All Comments on 'Double Whammy'

Keep up the good work...very enjoyable read...

A little long, but highly enjoyable.

I like this story, a good length for the ground covered. Still not thrilled with epilogues, even if well done.

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Several years ago I bought a maroon Ford Van with 4WD. Having never noticed one before, I was stunned at the dozens like it I saw in the first couple of months I had it. I mention that because I've experienced a similar phenomenon with the stories I run across on line. I read a story and within a few weeks I'll see more than a few that while all are different and posted at widely different times, yet are much alike.

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<I>-- srgeek --</I>

It would have been nice to have Judy find out how well Jake was doing in his new business but all in all it was a very good story.

This was a really great read. I'll send you a private comment. My comment here would be useless. I con't give you any tips or criticism, and there just aren't enough superlatives to do the job. This was the first of your stories that I have ever read, but rest assured that it will not be the last. I am looking forward to slowly devouring every line that you have written. Thank you!!!!

Coaster, you have an awesome talent for writing. You tell the story with just the right amount of detail to make it come alive, yet not be burdensome. Your story lines are always exciting. You have established a level of writing that challenges the other authors here. Keep the stories coming.

and a delightful storyline to boot! I'll be looking through the rest of your offerings for the next few weeks. It looks like I'll have no shortage of good material to read. Thanks for sharing your time, talent and energy.

Excellent story! Endearing and realistic. (One quibble: Al should have been required to make at least nominal child support payments; on principle, if nothing more.) Well-written story.

-- KK in Texas

I am normaly caustic as hell but I can't be like that with a tale that i really enjoyed. Keep it up Nyminus

You did an amazing job on this! It's one of the best stories that I've read on here. I look forward to reading your other work. Thanks! --Jim

Very good story, plot, characters, writing -- the whole package. Thank you.

Simply stated, the story is extremely well written, understandable, and enjoyable to read. This is par for the course for this author - one of my favorites. RAG

I just wanted to let you know...there is no such thing as luck! Just thought you should know.

The whole story is very believable, and seemed to be real.I enjoyed reading this well writen story. I like happy endings.Thanks for the post. .........Rich

I dont like the LOVING WIVES section. Most, not all, of these stories have some form of cheating in them. IMHO thats not very loving. But when I started reading this I was compelled to finish it. This was such a good story, and I glad it turned out well.

I have only recently discovered your work and must congratulate you on this simply superb tale! The story is so well told and unlike most others on LITEROTICA has just the right balance love and sex to make it almost a masterpiece. Pete.

I just want to comment on one of your points. That it is hard to understand that a man could have a best friend who is a woman. I understand that very well because my best friend (other than my wife) is a woman. She is not a lover and my wife is also her friend but she is my best friend. Thank you for the story. Jim

Jake was sort of wimpy in that he let problems grow without reacting to them. Cindy obviously liked him and respected him, but I do not think that his wife looked on him as more than a cashcow and a bedwarmer. When she found more interesting material she tried the trade-in route. Funny, she came across as very naive and cold...

Thanks for posting this one!

No cum dripping from faces, no giant black coks.

Just lovely and enjoyable and well written story.

Cindy was looking for an easier life. Most women will act the same way as she did, if there is a clear cut advantage. Jake was just a means to an end. I know the feeling well....I had the privilege of helping my wife get her RN license......and then I wasn't good enough anymore.....Women simply don't function on the same moral plane as Men.....everything is relative, and the truth finds itself twisted in ways it wouldn't ever recognize.....So, Jake wasn't a wimp in my estimation. He adapted to the situation, and got out as best he could...a retreat under fire perhaps, but he came out on top, didn't he? Gave it a 5, and enjoyed the tale.

Never get married if the proposal is only accepted under conditions. Judy only agreed to his proposal after he got hired by that company. Their whole relationship was conditional. She gave him sex, as long as he brought home money. She tentatively agreed to having children, if they reached a certain standard of living. The clues should have leaped out at him from the beginning.

Judy is loser in the deal and he's happy and successful. That works very well. Oh, and the lover, he can be the recipient of her supportive comments.

Five stars and very worthy of all five. R.T.

Two admirable characters in this one! Much better than "Frankly my dear", where I didn't like the husband or the cheating wife.

First, you edited it very well. It was an easy and engaging read.

It was also a tight story. There was just enough emotion, just enough revenge and just enough detail to understand the characters, their motivations and personalities without overdoing it. I like tight stories. Don't get me wrong. I read every word of DQS1 and enjoyed it but he had a bit of slop in side plots etc. Others write 13 page things which doesn't get much beyond the initial conflict. Usually I still enjoy it, but occassionally I find I'm wading throught it.

I believed every single one of the characters, particularly Judy and Cindy. Judy wasn't a totally souless bitch who had a shred of regret, but saw herself as pragmatic. Cindy was a bubbly Earth Mother but she also hurt and was conflicted.

I have to say that if anything, you gave Judy a bit of short shrift in the character development aspect, but that might be a factor of the First Person POV limiting your opportunities.

The switch from one job to the next went a bit quickly and he seemed to take it a bit harder then he should have. Two weeks isn't that long. And you have a minor plot discrepency. If Jake 'doesn't really love her, then he is taking her attitudes

and opinions a bit too much to heart. But that is IMO.

One thing which stood out. I had to reread it twice. Al supposedly was living beyond his means and had maxed out credit cards. This came from left field. First, Al probably didn't get there alone! Next, it was unexpected and undeveloped except to get one more dig at Al, which seemed a bit gratuitious.

One other thing that didn't make sense to me. Jake said he wouldn't hide any money from her. But in the next couple of paragraphs, it <i>seems</i> like he does just that. Did I misundertand that? It seemed like he ambushed her to sign a document which didn't disclose his net worth. Could have been a bit clearer.

These are small dings to an otherwise very good work. Thank you and please keep writing.

Also, this is one of the more realistic stories; the way people actually act during a divorce and discovery of cheating. Most stories have the wife, begging for months and the other man is bigger but the husband beats him up and puts him in the hospital, even though he is much weaker and smaller, because he has had years of kung fu or other similar training. That is not only unrealistic but the stories are so similar that the authors must just copy and paste and then change the names and few words.

He didn't understand why he kept his new income hidden from his wife. He must have been in denial because he had lots of reasons. Less sex and the wife unwilling to discuss it. Her attitude about children, her anger and blame when he was laid off, and her and her family's lack of respect over his income and job.

None of the characters are bad people. They have faults and some have unacceptable faults. It is understandable that his wife would look to trade up. That is what women do. Security including incomed is extremely important to women. And of course, women seek a husband that have a higher income, education, and position than themselves. This is making it difficult for college graduate women that are not extra pretty to find acceptable husbands. They seek college graduate husbands; however, at the present time, almost half again as many women as men graduate college.

Women ask, "Where are all the good men gone?" That is, where are all the available, high income, good looking, college graduate men? They are out there but the demand from women is much higher than the supply of such men. That is why so many average or below looking, college educated, high income women never marry. There are plenty of men, but the women don't want them anyway.

Protracted and boring. However,just to spite worcock,I am giving it 1* !!

and the punch line "OUI, CHEVROLET COUPE" tk u mlj lv nv

What can I say, it is a great story and well written. I have to agree with DWORNOCK and others before him. But I must say that TAZZ317 and Anonymous must be very dull or retarded per there comments.

I found each of your stories to be very readable and most enjoyable, please keep them coming.

Very entertaining and enjoyable story. Thanks for sharing.

coulda been put in romance.

you could have written more about the demise of Judy and Bobby-boy. Her reaction to the fact that he wasn't the big shot she thought he was; and how her life took the downward spiral. How did her snobby parents take the news of the divorce. More importantly how Judy and her parents reacted to his "hidden" success. You could've written more about how she was totally burned.

I must say that the gold digging bitch got what she deserved; I just wanted to read more about her pain. Hey, that's just me!

I'd like to see you in some fucking pain.

It read too much like one of those manuals the guys was writing! Maybe he shoudl stick to those!?

First you get all the pieces out of the box and on the floor thinking this will be simple. Then you panic, and read the directions. But they don't make any sense. Next you run to town and buy a case of beer and pick up your buddy who is a carpenter. He puts it together in 5 min. and then drinks all your beer. I really liked this story. But I didn't get the double wamm.

anonymous 25-1-13 ,i'd like to see you in a LOT of pain.

liked this one. c2 writes very clearly and it was easy for me to envision the scenes he was describing. I had one very minor problem re the story: If Jake received four weeks severance pay and if he found his new job within two weeks, why did Judy need the extra $1,000.?

great story

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story.

Thank you.

At least a substantial paragraph about how high Sweetie hoisted herself on her own petard was begging to be written (or, for sure, read!) It should have included Sweetie admitting that she actually 'traded DOWN' on income and being treated fairly in return for a small increment in pleasure! With a little adjustment, Sweetie could have confided that to Cindy before she became aware of her neighbor's awareness of Sweetie's trysts with Al, or that Cindy was dumping his cheating ass. Cindy could then thank Sweetie for helping her decide to get rid of the slimewad and for abandoning a much better partner.

I take it the Double Whammy was the two 'good' neighbors dumping both cheaters?

5*

He got 4 months severance, and her money was tight after he was out of work only 2 weeks?

I'm only on Page One, but two things are already bothering me:

First, she's overly concerned with his job. It's bad enough that she's concerned that he might not want to move beyond Customer Service Rep, but making her acceptance conditional on his promotion?

Second, she's a selfish lover - she likes getting oral, but won't give it? No way, Jose!

KarenE,

I didn't remember the part about wanting to know he would be more than a customer service rep and not liking to give oral -- those are big yellow or red flags to me, too.

The part about money being tight after only two weeks to me is more a reflection of how bitchy she is rather than necessarily having money problems after so short a time.

I mean, Judy is pretty much a nasty, selfish person, no?

Thanks for the offering. Five stars.

I would have loved to see some more on wife reaction to the money in his account that was split 50/50. Showing that she was walking away from the golden egg. And her Jake I never knew reaction.

... Since this story was submitted in 2009, It's obvious that you didn't steal his formula of "end up with a better girl" but I'm not quite sure that SS06 has ever written anything this good. That's not a slam of SS06 because I'm a huge fan. This was just the consummate story of this type.

HOLD ON SHE WILL NOT SAY YES TO MARRY UNTIL HE HAS A BETTER POSITION WITH THE COMPANY AND {HER MOM WORKS PART TIME AND HER DAD FOR THE CITY}. JUDY IS JUST A TOTAL BITCH AND AS FAR AS CUTTING HIM OFF FROM SEX BECAUSE HE LOST HIS JOB SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALL OVER HIM LETTING HIM KNOW THINGS WILL WORK OUT THEN SHE FUCKS AL THE CAR SALESMAN AND I BET SHE THOUGHT HER BOSS OWNED THE BUSINESS NOT HIS WIFE. NOW CINDY IS JUST THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN. BUILD YOU UP NOT TEAR YOU DOWN .JUDY THOUGHT SHE TRADED UP IF SHE ONLY KNEW WHAT SHE THREW AWAY MAYBE SOMEONE WILL CLUE HER IN. IN MY FAVORITES. CINDY AND JAKE WIN BIG TIME.

RON TEXAS cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

...it's one that reaffirms Faith in decent Human attributes.

Cheered me up no end - wish there were more like this.

coaster2 - you hit a Home Run with this beauty - Thanks.

I WOULD LIKE TO READ MORE ABOUT CINDY AND JAKE AND JUDY(THE EX WIFE) IF ONLY SHE KNEW WHAT SHE THREW AWAY BUT IT SEEMS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERED TO HER WAS CHEATING.

RON TEXAS mcwhorter284@gmail.com

The characters were totally vivid and clear. I could relate very well to thr protagonist. I enjoyed the story so much, I was disappointed to see it end. An epilogue would be highly desirable especially to find out about the cheaters and their prospective disappointment. I rated this five stars because of the high level of entertainment.

Very well written & told, a tale that I thoroughly enjoyed from start to finish. Was it perfect, of course not, when is any story ever perfect, BUT, this came pretty close.

Thanks for all your effort, you are a skilled author. 5 *****

He should have known Judy was cheap and shallow the way she emphasized their income. Its intelligent for a woman to want a sound financial basis as part of her marriage, but your description made it appear it was Judy's major concern. Jake was way too timid and careless while dating Judy. A good drill down to her soul would have revealed she had no soul. Or her objection to the scrutiny would have shown she wanted to hide her true character. Either way, Jake should have known she was a defective woman before he even married her.

....also a Happy one !!

I really enjoyed this story,and despite the sadness - it still reflected the realities of Life.

Then of course the joyful part - work was going well - and Home was just something else !!

Thanks for a nice read !!

A good well written story. It seems Judy keeps trying to catch that falling star. Jake should have known better when she would only marry him if he got a better paying job. Judy was/is shallow and Cindy is a cheer leader pump you up everything will always work out with her positive attitude even if they were living in a box under a bridge that's just the type of person she is. Al is a horn dog and never realized what he had at home until he just threw it away for a piece of ass. Oh well there are women just as bad take Judy reaching for that Mansion on the hill and winding up living in a Motel room or apartment. One word for Judy and Al(STUPID)

Ron Texas

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

I really liked it! 5*

He lives off his wifes workwhile secretly hauling in cash on the side and conducts a long term emotio n al affair with the neighbor woman after the author finally admits the "just friends" was bullshit...... and wonders why his wife cheats on him? Jesus, no wonder the whore doesnt respect him.

You seem to have a talent for writing male assholes, and the creeper vibe on his step daughter doesnt help.

Pet peeve: "That gave Cindy and I most of the day to talk about our plans." Cindy and ME, please!

I liked the story. However, how could he ever get married when she put conditions of job and promotions as a deal breaker. It showed what kind of person she really was. I always enjoy a story where the person 'trading up' ends off worse than with the ex-hubby. In the mating dance, anyone can appear exciting and successful for the short term but it's the long term that counts. Then she was surprised that her lover didn't have the staying power for the long haul. I was glad that this guy and the neighbor hooked up with the 2 kids. Thank you for a very good story.

My comment before and it stand behind it. If interested in my comment the heading is Coffee,Tea or. Me. In my favorites. Great story 5 stars plus

Ron

cowboyridecc @yahoo.com

The guy is clearly a clueless dipshit and I don't want to be aggravated with the result of his stupidity so I stopped reading and got the fuck out of there.

She's a taker... not a giver or sharer. You RUN, don't walk away from cunts like that.

"She takes oral sex but won't give it??" See ya' bitch.

"I need to know how much more money you'll be making before I can decide whether to marry you???" See ya' bitch.

Good story nicely done. I gave you 5 stars but more importantly I gave you a 4 on the Budweiser Scale (and that's worth a lot more than 5 stars) ***

***contact str3tchy@yahoo.com for the Budweiser Scale !!!

i dont understand how people could marry when there are serious preblems from the start that dont get worked out if he doesend get a bettther paying job she whont marry him that should have told him enough about her that she cared more about money then him

I have sampled many other authors and find that your story writing, at least in this tale, is different in a very good way. Your writing was "smooth" and well paced. Your characters were firmly identified. Even with cheating and two divorces it was a "feel good" story. Well done and thanks for sharing. BK

Well done, but lacking in any real emotional drama. Five stars.

An easy story to read. It is also an entertaining and enjoyable tale.

I knew the relationship with Judy was temporary when she gave a conditional acceptance of the marriage proposal. Seriously? He should have dropped her like a bad habit at that point.

Other than that I liked the story.

What a total gold digger his wife was/ is. Wonder what she will do next living out his car or motel with neither of them having a job unless stold as much as he could from his EX. Oh well Karma is a real bitch. You have a good man you cheat on him with every Al & Bob trying to gain social status. In my Favorites 5*

Ron

In spite of the cheaters, the love story was quite enjoyable and satisfactory on all levels. As others have noted, there was no high drama or BTB or RAAC, just a good story about "real" people and their "fake" counterparts.

Here's wishing Jake and Cindy a long and happy life together, with maybe another kid or two thrown into the mix!

and ones to avoid at all cost, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thoroughly enjoyable!

Obviously, Judy is just a bitch, but doing jobs on spec is common for new free lancers, and he can't know the pay until he knows how much work is involved, otherwise he might under charge, or he might over charge and not get the business.

Nice that she wants to "make love" when he's got some money coming in. I guess that makes her a whore!

"There weren't any signs she might be having an affair." - Other than the reduced love life!

Even agreeing to the terms, she should STILL have her own lawyer look at them. And don't divorce papers have to be notarized, not just signed? She could claim it was a forgery, or that she signed under duress.

It wasn't clear if Judy kept her job, but given that Al was her boss, she'd have a sexual harassment suit if she was fired.

Up to your usual standards and a feel good story. Fully a 5 start effort.

Thank you.

First i've read from you, coaster2. Will not be the last.

Would have liked to get Judy's reaction to her half of the settlement being larger than expected indicating that financially she had traded down not up. What a surprise to a

gal who values her husband based on his finances. Her new guy is not going to like that either. So sad!

Just read a story with a sad/bad ending. So had to read this one with good/happy ending and now I can go to bed at almost 5 in the morning. Thanks.

Paul in Oklahoma

You write a good story, and your characters are rich, complex and believable. But you are inconsistent - a real estate market that goes from "red-hot" to "cold" in a handful of pages, and dialog that has quotes sometimes, and other times not. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work - but you would benefit from an editor.

my proposal conditional on getting the sales job? Why aren't you dating someone with a high paying job now you gold digger? Adios.

bitch.

on page 1...yes contingent on getting the sales job? What if he gets laid off? FU bitch. Have a great life...adios.

He should have seen something was not right her parents attitude towards him and her not saying yes unless he got a better job but she cheated on him before he lost the job. To sugar coat it she was a Total Bitch.

You write pretty good, but you include so much detail that adds nothing to the story that I found myself skimming scores of paragraphs to get to the meat. I almost quit a few times, but stuck it out to the bitter end. Gave it a 3. Shorten up your stories and get to the point sooner. You scores will rise accordingly. No character to identify with. You created very little emotion. Feels like there should be some drama, sex, fights, something, to inject some excitement. Keep trying.

😊😊😊

Coaster you write pretty well. While some may read for violence and lengthy, explicit descriptions of sex there are plenty of us who appreciate character development and details!

Did Judy fuck Michael. Seeing she found him attractive. Judy moved down low st her job and ran with a loser.

Way too long for what it is. Also, you are lacking suspense and your plots are not much.

Long, but.interesting and engaging. After all that detail, everyone got what they deserved.

I love happy endings. The best revenge is doing well with your life.

Otherwise good story enjoyed

Happy divorces

Once again I return to this lovelly story, shame that I do not have any more space on my favorite list.

I find this story really good, it shows that a good guy can win just by being himself, no baseball bats, no big leagle battles, no superman, just a good guy that does not give up and ends up rewarded.

Simple but believable, thanks for sharing

Jason

A well written and very entertaining story. Pay no attention to the detractors, you certainly can’t please everyone, and some people refuse to be pleased just out of spite. BTW, good job with the epilogue. Many writers would have ended the story after the “big, long sensuous kiss”, and left it to the readers to imagine what happened next. And we all know what kind of a cheap, lazy writer’s short-cut gimmick that is. Five Stars, without doubt.

Still a great read, and very entertaining. Thanks again for sharing.

It was a nice day, cloudy but pleasant. I'd just come back from The Home Depot with the stainless screws I needed to finish repairing the customer's backyard bbq grill. With the ridiculously overpriced pack of screws in hand, I grabbed my cordless and let myself through the gate to the back yard. It was immediately obvious that the early mid 30's MILF mother and her 15 - 16 yr. old 6' son had assumed that I was finished and had gone on my way because they were naked on an air mattress, next to their pool, and were fucking like rabbits. Momma was making a lot of joyful noise about what Jr. was putting into her pussy so neither of them heard the gate open or close.

I went over to the grill, opened the pack of screws, set one on the screw tip of my cordless, lined it up and hit the trigger. I think they both came when they heard the sound of my 12v DeWalt cordless drill driver that was no more than five feet away from them. They couldn't get their underwear on fast enough. I have to admit that the kid was fairly well hung and that's probably why she was making all that noise.

The worst of it was that I know her husband and she knows that I do. After her son went into the house, she begged me not to say anything to her husband... said she'd do anything I wanted. When I showed her what I have to offer, her eyes lit up and she agreed. I've been fucking her for almost two years. She's definitely noisy.

Lovely story

Did I miss what happened to her boss?

Always fun to read these old stories again after a couple of years. This wad good.with seeing the dreams of Judy and Am dashed. Happy ending for our heroes too.

Good ending, loved the wrap up.

Love the story. AAAA++++

great - any story by coaster2 is.

Good story! I enjoyed it.

4 stars Good story !!!! The only negative is raising someone elses children, thats a beta move particularly for a unattached man.

5 stars - I really liked this story.

However, I still have not seen any reasonable ENGLISH manuals for the large amount of foreign equipment I have bought over the last 20 years. So I am hoping that this story had some basis in fact.

Fluid and economical writing. I enjoyed this immensely. Thanks for the quality effort. 5*