All Comments on 'Error Correction Ch. 01'

So based on your last sentence his gasp at a memory caused him to travel back in time to a point where his friend was fucking his wife so she could this time turn around at the newly inserted gasp so he could see it was his wife when that didnt happen in the original timeline??

Wow I am very confused but at the same time enjoying this story. What a way to end Ch. 1. Can’t wait fir the rest of this tale.

Da’fuq did I just read?

Don't make him a Whimp see what your trying to do

Makings of a good story.

Last 2 paragraphs of this chapter not clear to me though?

Well written, nicely told. Unclear though, recollections or imaginations. Please continue though

Good start and am wondering if the last paragraph is his imagination playing tricks?

4 stars

Nice cliff-hanger. Though one thing does puzzle me. If they raised 2 daughters, how can Becky still have a hymen?

After re-reading, I noticed that they *raised* 2 daughters. Becky actually giving to them was not mentioned. Could the daughters the be adopted?

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Looking forward to new chapters.

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Pasqual

You spent the entire story relating what a sexless bitch of a wife his Becky, having him complain about her lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom... then hit the reader that Mike was a weak, spineless, pathetic, doormat! Who knew, at least since his "friend" had been visiting, that his cold, bitch wife was getting a good fucking from his "friend"! Was this while Emma was still alive or after she died? You are rather lax on details.

Either way, the arsehole cuck did nothing to stop it... and we are meant to feel sorry for him? Is that it?

The fact he was a cowardly, pathetic cuck just slipped your mind? Ridiculous.

If he was so weak that he let his "friend" fuck his wife and let his slut wife fuck his friend without saying anything nor expanding his own sex life with her... is just sad. He created the current situation and can blame no one other than himself!

Let me guess, new writer trying to join Cuck swamp.

How nice, but as so many mentally ill readers would say:

You are on the porn sight, so what!

Which means that is OK to be mentally ill. -1

The ending line doesn't make sense?

Otherwise, this is an interesting story so far.

A very good first submission! Well written.

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And you’ve got us hooked. Was that memory accurate? Or was he substituting in his mind Becky’s image because his mind was so full of images of real sexual passion he was thinking about?

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Has all the elements of an interesting denouement. Hope the next installment is not as late s some authors do to us (are you listening Bear?)

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4 ****

R&B, congrats on your first story. You probably should have put it in Sci-Fi & Fantasy instead of L/W.

I took the time to walk you through the time warp you created.

My life was pretty tame up until about two years ago. Now here I am in a luxury suite at the Boston Park Plaza, naked, with a throbbing erection, staring at an unfamiliar face in the bathroom mirror. My heart is racing, pounding against the inside of my breastbone like a kick drum.

That was all it took. I carried her books to the library and stayed with her while she read and took notes. I sat in the next cubicle and read a textbook on my phone.

Fast forward. Long story short. American Dream. Fancy wedding. Long honeymoon. Job with Dad. Nice big house in Orleans. Kids—

Run the calendar until Becky and I are both in our late 40s. We raised two healthy intelligent beautiful daughters and saw them both happily married off.

Then I gasped. I shivered. Emma turned her head and looked back at me, but it was not Emma. It was Becky.

Your story covered (at my best guess) around 25 years. If it was supposed to be in real time, cell phone tech for reading didn't happen until around 2010, that would mean we are now in the 2030's. Great try, look forward to your next story.

A very intriguing start. Please post the rest of the story soon!

As i read this story I wondered why its rating was marginal. At the end I understood why. It actually made no sense, not likely she was a slut he saw with Ben. It was the unbelievable ending that destroyed the rating.

Could you please put tags on your story?

...he finds more sexual pleasure and sexual fun in his life. It's mindboggling, that an activity like sex, involves less than 1% (actually 0.45%) of our lifetime, but is so influential in our decisions concerning marriage and marriage life. The lack of pre-marriage sex with Becky on Michael's part is solely his fault. Personally, you should never buy a horse without checking his teeth first. Awaiting part 2. Thanks for the story.

OK so I am confused. If he saw his wife with this guy, was it recent or was it from college days before he married Becky and if it was before how did she have a hymen? Was that his wife (the client) in the video?

Baffled by the "ending" of this, so looking forward to the next instalment.

Very strange, he and wife desperately need help from a sex therapist! The bit at the end? Perhaps his mind playing tricks? Don’t do the cliché and have him become a world class cuckold and learn Ben fathered the children and Becky has been Ben’s bitch forever.

If the hymen was there on their wedding night, how could she have fucked Ben? Or was this his mind playing tricks.

Another new author who wants to show us why you can't do without cuckold stories? That is not necessary, but to draw a protagonist who is too stupid to take away his young wife's innocence because he is afraid he might hurt her, I haven't read that either. Let's see what else you can deliver to us. But I'm afraid it won't be good!

Sloppy ending. Lousy job mixing up fact or fiction, timing, and identities.

A real cliffhanger, eh?

Well that put the exclamation point to the word stupid.

Thanks for another wannabe cuck story from another retread cuck writer.

Feel free to go away before you add even more to the cesspool thats LW these days.

Without tags, reading a story is like eating a tune sandwich you find under the seat of a crosstown bus: an act of trust and/or questionable judgment. This one was rewarding until the last sentence of the last paragraph. I mean, seriously, there was a great story there, with a helluva lot of GOOD possibilities, but when it came to the end... you chose the cliché. It was like Evel Knievel jumping the fountain at Caesar's Palace: you've gotta stick the landing, otherwise it's still a crash.

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Such a decent story, with strong conflict, realistic characters, good writing.... I'd like to see you rewrite it and find another path! 3/5.

I expect great things from future episodes. 5* so far...

Gave it a four until the end and then wtf happend? Very strange, very odd. I suppose we will wait and see.

I suspect amateur error. Presuming you did not intend to be confusing, and believing what you already told us, that the wife was a virgin on their honeymoon, then we have to assume that his last minute recollection was some kind of fantasy? It can't be a nightmare, because that would mean he thought his vision was believable or realistic, which means he, or maybe the author, forgot that his wife was a virgin on their Honeymoon. OK, here's a life savior, Ben was fucking her in the ass. Other than that if it was Becky it makes no sense.

But I have a question: "Run the calendar until Becky and I are both in our late 40s." So why did you bore us with all this introductory story that was overdone or irrelevant? You could have set this up from the beginning as a middle aged married couple with a few concise paragraphs outlining his wife's history and demeanor as it applied to her sexuality. Again, the pitfalls of amateur hour. Or in this case amateur week? How long you gonna drag this out? We already know that Somebody is going to get their brains fucked out, including his wife Becky, but it won't be with him. And you're going to make this story dramatic and compelling by glossing over that he married a mentally and emotionally stunted and/or dysfunctional woman, that their children played no significant roles in their marriage or their personal development, and that we are supposed to find that Martian Slut Ray is a really ingenious plot device. It snot.

I will wait to rate the entire effort. Right now its between a 3 and a 3, give or take. Thanks for the effort.

what a stupid story and a waste of time. just go and dig more ditches, the way you are supposed to, be productive.

Don't quite have a grasp of this one yet, so I need more.

If an LW story isn’t at least close to a 4 rating, skip it.

I think I met Becky in the Lamont Library.

not much yet.... other than complacency and so far he can't get there from here.

Hope this isn’t just another cuck story.

3/5

Cuck story? BTB story? Dunno yet, but it is well written and certainly holds my interest. I'm looking forward to more. No rating yet

We'll see where it goes. Not scoring yet because there's really nothing to score. He's complacent, maybe.

I got halfway through the first page and stopped reading. What a load of rubbish. Take it for granted I will not be reading any further parts.

Hhhmmm.

This is a good writer but this story needs work very absorvibg but it hooks in but leaves you hangin

cant wait to see the neext version

Pointless unrealistic crap.

Sounds like a normal marriage to me, He He. However, it is going to get better. Thanks for writing.

Not a complete story yet, so hard to rank, but I’m giving the benefit of the doubt since the author’s quality in other stories is high. Have faith!

Uh huh, yep sure enuf sounds like there's gonna be a story here pretty soon. LP

Really? Stretched out her hymen, kind of don't think that's how any virgin has ever been introduced to sex, it's just idiotic. Also, htf even marries a virgin, the risk of sexual incomparability is simply far too high for it to be worth it.

Ok so far nothing really special yet..