All Comments on 'Losing Katy'

Good story except for a rather large plot hole to me. I can't really believe a guy like that, whose used to getting his way (and the story shows it), would just give up on Katy the way he did and even more, that he'd offer to help her free of charge. Just doesn't fit the profile you made for him and to top it off, I can't believe Mark whose been incredibly smart about all of this wouldn't have thought of that.

So you probably won't get it when I say, "Missed it by that much." Hero got his balls back and managed to keep 'em almost to the end. Almost.

I firmly believe the pre-nup will be used. TK U MLJ LV NV

asking any normal woman to a fancy dinner and later, a trip to Europe. I actually think that it IS reasonable to believe that despite all common sense and good judgement, she might be tempted to agree. Now really, what if it was Angelina Jolie, or any famous female hottie celeb, asking a normal male just into her bed? (no fancy trips needed, LOL). Again, any normal male would jump at the chance, regardless of prior relationship status. Or at least those types of extreme temptations would be easy to understand and visualize. That is, until YOU are the one being betrayed by those actions.....

But the best part of this story, is the timeless message: "money can't buy love". How shocked and dismayed was this rich playboy when he found out, yes only too easy to rent her body for twice the price, but there was no amount of cash or prizes that would win her heart and true love. Just the same, I don't think I could fall totally in love with Ms. Jolie, either!

In a way, I actually think that makes Katy kind of special. Maybe another LW cheating fiancee', once realized that her soon to be marriage is toast, would immediately latch on to Daddy Warbucks. "OK, so the sex is terrible, but a wealthy guy like you can learn, right? So lets go to Hawaii, and practice some more, OK?" Yes, it would be easy for alot of the shallow females we usually get to read about, to accept the money and lifestyle rewards and fall into trophy-wife status. But Katy did not. Then you have the idea that by the time of the RAAC, HE had fucked around, and had so much meaningless sex, that his conquests in comparison, made her fucked up fling with the rich guy seem like just another trip to the mall. Now of course, she WAS worse, because it ALSO involved betrayal and abandonment. But at least he could look at her and know that she wasn't any more tainted sexually than he, himself.

I also liked the way that the author made it that every attempt by the rich guy to "fix" the problem by throwing money at it FAILED, and in fact drove the wedge in deeper. Add to this the message that she learns: "just be yourself" to restore his faith and trust in her. I think this was a pretty good story, and certainly diverting reading. It was realistic enough, while STILL being OTT fantasy stuff. That is hard to pull off, convincingly at least. So, Very Good job!

Thank you!

So it takes awhile but she does get away with it. Wait until next time.

It sucked, don't bother wasting your time.

I don't know if her excuse was acceptable...but what had he to lose? With the prenup and all...I also don't believe that the lover would go with all that work for him to forgive her...He could offer him a sum, as he did to Lara and nothing else...Why was a rich man from the high society worried about a cheating woman that he bedded so easily? But we can accept that as a movie or story plot...not in real life...3* for the effort...

I believe, that to most women, sex is not such a big deal in certain circumstances, and then it's a huge deal in other circumstances. To men, it's never that big a deal emotionally, except in retrospect after the act with someone that they actually love, because generally, they've gotten off anyway. Women often don't get off despite what your read in most of the stories on this site. I also believe that women are somewhat wired to allow sex as a reward for someone giving them what they want, and men never see it that way. It can, in a woman's mind, be "no big deal", as they can chose to let it affect them emotionally, or not, again, depending on the circumstances.

I like how he didn't just cave in but did his own thing for awhile. A bit over the too that one engineer could make or break a company. Still, 4 stars.

But he can loose the children to come! And have his heart broken again. But we all take chance in this life , so go for it.

I agree, that as long as there's a prenup, including his getting custody of any children, and very special conditions stated in his will, then maybe he should risk it. She's really not such a bad woman, she's worse. She's a stupid child. If she matures and corrects her fucked up thinking while married, then alls well that ends well. But someday when she's bored with diapers and PTA meetings and maybe getting out of shape, Sugar Daddy will suddenly show back up, in a very tempting way, and she will easily skip out again. With utter remorse and regret, once she again tires of Roger and the high life, maybe. But the prenup will at least protect hubby's wealth and children from this crazy bitch. Unless Roger uses his wealth to tie him up in court forever, until he givers her the kids back. As ugly as the people and the plot is, it was a well crafted and interesting story.

Thank You for your time and talent.

Katy says of Lara:

" If she could be bought, she was not right for you anyway."

What was her fling with the rich guy except Katy being bought?

If he was right in the head he would send a thank you card to Cooper for showing what a whore she was before the wedding and never have any more to do with her.

A good plot, that isn't very original needs the characters to have much depth. A background well developed . An emotional connection with each other that grabs the reader .

Unfortunately , you only had the first, a decent plot. Your characters were shallow. They didn't have much emotional development with each other . Then instead of expanding the development of Katy and Roger you just rushed the plot.

Why should we care about Katy, her experience with Roger . Her efforts to get Mark back. Her part of the story just wasn't important.

Steve2244 you really deserve 2*s but I gave you 3*s . I'm becoming a softy I guess, lol.

AMerryman

Katy says of the first date with Roger:

"But I had already given him my word, so I had to pull this through."

She gave her word to Mark and thought nothing of breaking it, why was her word to Roger so much more important than that?

You detail after detail, paragraph after paragraph, you had him tell her explicitly why they are not a couple, and you threw it away with some superficial and simplistic paragraphs of the renewed relationship. Those few paragraphs changed NOTHING.

<P>

BTW Writing Dialogue 101

<P>

If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative. When one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed.

<P>

When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.

It will not be a marriage built on trust or even mutual caring. Katy slammed the door on that and by the end of the piece Mark's resolve and self respect turned into a tower of jello.

Katy is a character of no depth or thought and Mark doesn't seem to learn or be very analytical at all.

The writing is pretty good in light of English as second or third language and I will keep reading stories for a while longer. I am getting tired of the protagonists folding at the end and that there seem to be no consequences for the women in the two stories posted thus far.

We learn by out experiences and hopefully do not repeat the mistakes. Let's hope Katy learned from hers.

So much in fact, that I had to give it a 5!

I normally do not comment on stories but I have to vent on this one. First: Roger was a piece of crap trying to get Katy away from Mark. Second: Katy was whoring herself out to the rich and famous no matter who it hurt especially Mark. As Mark said, Katy did not do this on the spur of the moment, she planned it out. Third: Mark is stupid for taking her back knowing what she can and will do. That includes getting a betting from Roger's goons. She knew what was going on the whole time. Mark should have gone back to work at the company that Roger bought, he should have left and maybe Roger would have had to take bankruptcy. Mark's parents should be made aware of this and the whole town should know. If they do get married, I hope Mark has Katy sign a prenup contract giving her nothing if Katy or Mark leaves or disresprects each other.

But I'm a sucker for happy endings. And there is the pre-nup.

Your stories are not entertaining. Sorry.

The story does reveal a charatistic of most women. They are, for the most part, whores at heart. Women will sell or rent themselves out to the highest bidder. They are really merchandise for sale.

I guess this could be classified as a mildly amusing fantasy. Women don't think this way or act this way, however (I am referring to everything in the story after the Paris trip). I refer you to PapaToad's stories - he writes female characters the most credibly. Sometimes JPB's women are also written credibly (on rare occasions when she isn't a sex-obsessed slut). A realistic Katy would have moved on very quickly (assuming she didn't marry the perp to access his money).

I really think that Roger should have had an accident and the body gaurds found tied up and headless

Women need 2 men in their lives, a stud with a hot body and a big dick which he knows how to use, and a schmuck with money, power and success! But even if you have both sides, that bitch is still gonna cheat! So, love her, but don't trust that bitch too much, and get all the pussy you can before she breaks your heart!

But most men cheat! So what's the big deal?? I take all the pussy I can get, if I believe I can get away with it!

this is sooooooo bad. .... So vile..... That it actually makes the reader stupider reading it

The author has the soon to be ex husband lay out the case why they should NOT be a couple... Why the marriage cannot ever take place. The fact one day aferr more than 15 months of separation she decides to show up and apologize is NOT a reason to even have dinner with her much less get married to this cunt.

he said it clearly... This wasnt some sort of madness... She INTENTIONALLY shit on him MANY MANY times in many ways.

even if this idiot soon to be ex husband belives this story/ explanation... The very story or excuse is PROOF that at this point in time she is not ready for marriage either emotionally or mentally

I thought it was a well written story, I enjoyed the read. However, I'm just not one of those that would ever let her back into my life. Not after what she did, so maliciously, so cruelly.

A good looking guy, with talent both professionally at work and on the stage. You can't tell me he couldn't find another women far better than Katy.

Like I said...I liked it and I liked it not!!

BDEarth

We've got a writer who isn't afraid to have his characters reconcile.

I'll add, for sure it wasn't original, but so what? It was fun to read.

I'm glad you warned everyone up front English is your second language so I wasn't concerned with the oddities.

The only change I would have made would have been an extended 'live together first' before any marriage. I would have stipulated the 'live together' would be with her no longer working. I would have encouraged her to pursue something she wanted, say ceramics, or painting, or sewing, or designing, or anything that would allow her to explore her creative desires.

Of course this is a five.

I liked your two previous stories but this one is a bit over the top/unbelievable. She intentionally and knowingly cheated and expected him to just accept it? No sane person would ever take such a cheating delusional woman back. Nor should they. She’s soiled and tainted. Nor would her actions bode well for a marriage. After all the trust is gone.

Whether or not the situations described and the behaviour of the characters were completely realistic, I thought the story line flowed well and logically.

And for an author writing in his second language, your use of English was far better than an awful lot of contributors to this site (both authors and commentators).

L

Utter shit. Never write again.

A pleasure to have a new imagination at work in this category. Work with an editor to smooth over some of the diction problems. The plots are great and the characters are are obviously well-developed and interesting. I look forward to some good reading.

even the conversations were childish, I am surprised he didn't move out the day she met the guy, her actions showed how much she really cared for him

grace still exists. And a mistake, no matter how grave, can be forgiven and corrected. So this second chance arrived without too great a stretch of the imagination. I look forward to further tales from you. ****

"The days we spend together become more frequent constantly. Soon we spend time on three to five days per week together." The last word in each of these successive sentences is superfluous. Trying too hard to make your point. Good thing is to re-read your work faster than is comfortable. It can help find these items.

for this pile of shit. i will never read another story by your fucking stupid ass. go fuck yourself you dicksucking piece of shit.

Your story seeems to have attracted some virulent crticisim. I enjoyed the story line. I think the story could use some polish, but as you stated, something might have been lost in the translation. The story at least brought out some emotional responses which a good story is suppoed to do. Thank you for the work it took to write and the courage to stick your neck out. Keep writting 2244, I will look forward to it.

I find the principle characters unbelievable and after the humiliation by his fianceé any reconciliation is completely unacceptable.. Good writing though.

2244:

In general I like your thinking. Pretty much all LW plots have been done before, there's a hell of a lot of stories on the site. I think you need to spend more time developing your characters. You spent time saying what didn't like about the girl, but not much about what he did like. It would have been better if the seduction was less egregious. Plus, I can't buy the rich guy throwing so much money around. The plot devices would still work, and would lessen the suspension of belief,

Write on

Chilley

And it's not even a word.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

"I've had sex six times with him. Always with condoms. One time on that terrible evening before Paris. And five times in Paris."

Uh huh. Repeat this 100X every day of your marriage. Don't worry, you won't have to say it for very long.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Quite surprising amount of responses. Some quite elaborate, some rather simple :D

I especially respect and enjoy reading the comments of other authors. Some authors I really appreciate have written responses and I´m quite grateful for that.

As the rating system partially seems to be used to judge the protagonists - yes, they are both flawed. I think it would be boring to describe perfect people. She could be bought by Roger, but so could he. At least after a little resisting. Taking her back can be regarded as weak or strong. I personally tend to the latter.

I wrote 60 stories recently. Initially just for myself. Writing stories was completely new for me, fun and improved my English. But I don´t take the things my protagonists do too seriously. Sometimes I just needed to get some of the stuff out of my head.

It was interesting to publish some of them. But I don´t want to end as a second Matt Moreau ;)

A rich guy who is a self serving asshole wants a woman an only gets to bed her a few times and doesnt win her is going to spend big money trying to get her hooked up with her true luve rather than kicking her to the crub dont you think, or do you live in an alternate universe?

I'm all for reconciliation if the situation calls for it but this does not. He should of accepted the bonous worked for a few weeks until it all cleared then quite. He also could of taken her back fucked her finally to set up a wedding but don't show up. Leave the cunt on the alter alone . That would be even humiliation. If it were me she never would of got past ignoring me at the benefit. Accepting dinner without me at his house mixed with her attitude about it would of had me moving out that night. She is and always will be a sneaky, lying , cheating, dirty pig , cunt who can't be trusted. You don't act like that and after 7 total days realize how fucked up you are. She knew from when she bumped into him and he showed interest. She deserves nothing from him

(and the term submission is used tongue-in-cheek)...

As for likelihood - someone with a lot of money as Roger does isn't going to let go of it for the motivations suggested. It sort of disproves itself - there are enough people around trying to scam the wealthy that if Roger were so vulnerable to guilt or other motivations, his money would have disappeared some time ago.

So I suppose I am agreeing with some of the previous annonymice, but hopefully with better spelling... (Alter is not Altar, for example...)

Your theme is a variant of the Mind Control theme - you want the female riddled with guilt (by the way, annonymice - open a new tab, type the word that doesn't look quite right into the address bar, hit return... maybe set Google as your default browser first... and read what your search engine gives you... and then read your submission over again and save all of us a bit of grief) and so willing to do anything for the protagonist with the hurt feelings. It is Mind Control... passive aggressive Mind Control, but Mind Control never the less.

I would suggest reading some Mind Control stuff... it is an old meme here, since power games and dominance in relationships is much more fundamental than who is hiding the pickle with whom. There are even some essays about the motivations for writing Mind Control stories, written by Mind Control story authors. Funny stuff - they know they are a bunch of wimps... unlike some here, apparently. And I'm not talking MM....

Green-something

(oh - keep writing. You show potential, but could use a little more refinement)

Good comment.

I personally wouldn´t rate what´s happened as mind control. I see it more like the shifting of power between both of them, in both directions.

Roger´s motivation was meant to be out of love for her. But as this was written from Mark´s point of view, it wasn´t that detailed.

....since the break up usually involves something bad enough that I would term it "burned bridges". Then our hero begins to move on, but eventually buys into the "Oh, I'm so sorry, I was so stupid, It would never happen again!", lines of total crap.

Look, if she'll do it once, at sometime, no matter how repentant, circumstances will come to a perfect point and she'll do it again. Life is too short and people too predictable to subject oneself to a repeat of what had to be the worst experience of his life. The prenut only ensures she'll take more strident precaustions not to get caught. but if she's so enamored of celebrity, she'll fall to it again. it's in her damn DNA, man!

So, allowing for the "Germanisms" it was a pretty good first attempt (didn't you say it was?). You might want to get some editoriral help from someone that is a native English-speaker. editorial work is the biggest part of a story. Your respect for that effort will largely imporve your stories.

Best wishes for happy outcomes.

Though a German speaker, I only detected a couple of oddities. Like every other country, their English speakers are waaaay better at it than us Americans are at other languages. I guess it's the laziness of late stage Empire. You used the word 'mad' where we would say 'crazy' or 'fucking nuts'. But there were no points where I had to stop to understand it.

As for the story, I liked it. He was a strong character (until he took her back!). I think in real life, a good looking successful guy like that would have the confidence to tell Katy to get fucked forever. A guy like him would have a choice of smart, beautiful, loyal women to pursue relationships with. Katy was shallow, breathtakingly disloyal, thoughtless - a starfucker of the highest order. Gut gemacht!

it was a great story they weren't even married yet so it was good that they had a reconciliation

You still married a whore. Just quibbling about price. She whores out not for $5, but $5,000,000.

Really got to the heart of the emotions of the characters.

Good job.

So shes a prostitute. Wow what a liar,cheater,moron,and a bitch. Nothing more. So when does she screw him over again? Obviously she will since she is too stupid to realize what a goo man Mark is. Only 6 times...here is a load of crap since I know you like crap so much.

Story was well written. Very easy to follow. Some parts of the story was a little unbelievable, but that is part of the creative license that is at the authors discretion.

Not sure I liked the ending. Money is nice, but sometimes it's hard to put a price on self respect and happiness. I can understand that people make mistakes. However, her actions aren't those made of a woman supposedly in love with her fiancé. The old cliche "once a cheater, always a cheater" or "leopards don't change spots" I believe still apply. He is much better off without her in his life. Hard to rebuild that trust once it's lost. Always verifying and wondering is a prett shitty way to live life.

Just saying...

I guess everybody has a price in life.

Boyd

You seem to allow your male lead characters to go to great lengths to reconcile with women that shit all over them. My issue with this story is that he believes anything that comes out of her mouth or that he would, in anyway shape or form, trust her ever again. How could he after she treated him so abysmally. And it's absurd that the Police wouldn't follow up with the bodyguards after the beating. Surely they bring the guards in and question them? One of them rolls over and they both go to jail and so does Roger. He would have been better off taking the money, moving to another office and forgetting Katy completely. She's going to break his heart again sure as day turns to night. I hope he at least gets a cast iron pre-nup for when she cheats she leaves with nothing but her clothes and no child visitation. Okay story right up until the end when he looses his mind and takes her back. I good editor might help you with the German to English thing.

The anons problem is that they treat every story as if it happens to them and that the story is real,most even end the story in different way than the autor and seem to develop a forsight into the future wich makes all theyr comment just hilarious and spitefull

Gute arbeit steve besorgt dir 5 sterne

Yes, it seems so. And every protagonist has to act in a completely logical and justifiable way. Thanks for your comment.

What happened to the Uber Mench Germans? This is a twisted little story without much sense. Her story boils down to is that she was "weak". At the time in her life that she should have been the strongest: right before she was going to marry the man she loved, a handsome, talented musician and an engineer. Instead she makes a lame play to trade up and then tries to back out of it. Here is some news for you: marriage takes a lot more than "love". It takes trust, it takes respect, it takes Honor and it takes strength (something a German should know!) Strength for the long haul of life, strength when you are faced with tragedy, strength to maintain your family in the face of complacency. The minimum time duration for marriage is about 25 years to have and raise kid. There is no way Katy could hold it together for 5 years, let alone 25 years! She is a selfish slut willing to trade sex for whatever grabs her at the moment. If all German's are like you it explains what happened in the first and second world wars, it explains how you let an idiot like Hitler lead you down to destruction and it explains how you just let the Greeks hose you out of millions!

I commend you for the effort. This was very good, especially considering that English is not your native tongue. I liked it, although I think the last part of the story leading to the reconciliation was a little forced and rushed. Most of your critics and many of the writers on this site can't even write in their native language, let alone a second language. I look forward to your next story.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I think I will submit a few more stories. I just don´t know when.

This holds promise but the reconciliation was unrealistic and rushed. In my never humble opinion, for any reconciliation to take place, a number of conditions have to take place.

Number one there must be true contrition. Katy does show contrition.

Second, there has to be every possible effort made to provide restitution. Every effort must be made to undo the harm and compensate for the pain. It can be argued that the jerk provides restitution, at least of some sort, but I don't see anything Katy has done.

Finally, and absolutely the most important, Katy must show that her basic nature has changed so that this type of behavior is impossible in the future. We see hints but this process might have taken place since she's no longer interested in celebrities, but I did not see real evidence that she had a life-changing epiphany sufficient to create in her a new character. Frankly this needs to be something of the nature of a drug attic going clean or an alcoholic giving up booze. That's sort of life-changing event doesn't come just because someone is sorry or misses their "true love." It requires of the very least significant counseling, discovering religion, or perhaps a near death experience followed by serious introspection and a total change of lifestyle. The most stupid thing people say is "once a cheater always a cheater, leopard can't change his spots, etc. " people are the only species that CAN change witness the ex-alcoholic or the ex-druggie. Or men who once loved but no hate. But it is also true that most people don't, and those that do, only do it with tremendous struggle. Katie didn't and I would expect her to revert to type and cheat in the future.

Because I love reconciliation stories, I want to encourage you to continue to write and improve.

Jonnyrebel82

she intentionally betrayed him and the fact she was to marry him. She did it a cruel and humiliating way. In no way could she ever be taken back, and he needs to drop her like a rock before they marry for another. Also he took a good deal from the company, his final FU, should be to force the company into going broke. Only way to hurt a rich man is separate him from his money.

is there? Too bad, there are enough RAAC story tellers on this site, didn't need more cuckoldry. Oh well.

0 stars...

Is it really necessary for a good story to be true to life or is a good story one that is highly entertaining? This is a great story precisely because it is implausible. Is it realistic for any woman to turn down a multi-millionaire for a sax-playing engineer? Of course not, but it makes a really good story. Keep them up.

Even the "torch the bitch" brigade can't complain in the context of this story.. She was crazy (but not a crazy as the Groupie girl!) and hurtful but vibrant and fun.

Well written and nice humour as always.

By far the worst story of yours i have read.

Sorry, this isn't like your other story upon which I commented. This is just plain disappointing. To be fair I am going to read the rest of your stories so I'll reserve judgment. xox Annette

Hard to believe such a people once built an empire.

...that not only the brits are wimps.

you promised a cuckold-free story and guess what? you did NOT deliver. fucking liar. 1*

kinda a wimp and a cuckhold he lets that guy walk all over him and his "wife"

Mine wasn't nearly as bad as what was portrayed here, but bad enough.

My girlfriend and I had also set a date for our wedding, paid nonrefundable down payments and planned to live in my house. It was paid for free and clear, a gift from my grandparents. With the wedding only 66 days away, she stopped by one day and said she wanted to break it off, an old boyfriend had come back to town and she had been seeing him. Not having sex (or so she claimed) but just catching up. She wasn't sure about us after being around him and wanted to take a little time to clear her head and make sure she wasn't making a mistake by marrying me.

That was it. I had no more interest in her, when she walked out the door, she took every bit of my love with her and I realized, I felt nothing toward her. The next day I began calling and canceling everything to do with our wedding and even printed out a form letter to everyone we'd sent and invitation to, explaining our marriage had been called off and we had split up. Thankfully, she wasn't yet on my bank accounts or credit cards. I mailed off all the letters and that was that. Or so I thought.

My friends told me they had seen my wife all over Tom, her ex. They did everything but fuck in public and it was funny, I felt nothing. No jealousy, no nothing. She had become another stranger to me. It wasn't until a week later that I came home from work and heard the frantic calls on my answering machine, asking why I had canceled all of our wedding plans. I erased them and didn't give them anymore thought. The next day was a Saturday, I remember it clearly because I woke to the sound of someone pounding on my door. The first thing I had done was change the locks, rather than get my key back. Besides, I had really nice door handles installed!

As soon as I saw my ex-girlfriends car out front, I ignored the knocking and went into the den, closing the door behind me and began getting caught up on the news, sports and checking my emails. There, I found more frantic emails from her, telling me she had made a terrible mistake and I was making it worse by canceling everything. Me, making things worse? It took about a half hour of her pounding on the door before she decided I either wasn't going to answer or was gone. It gave me a chance to get my shower and have breakfast.

I didn't respond to anything. Calls, texts, messages, I ignored then all. I guess she didn't believe it was over until a friend of hers stopped by and I let her in. She explained how contrite my ex was and what a monumental mistake she had made. All she wanted to do was rectify it and earn my love and trust back. I explained to Lisa my love was gone the moment she walked out the door and there was no way to earn back trust irrevocably destroyed. Something broken and destroyed couldn't be rebuilt. Lisa admitted my ex told her she and Tom had wild monkey sex for the week we were apart and she had fucked him only once before breaking it off with me.

I didn't see my ex for two months. By then I rarely even thought of her. I had a date that evening and we stopped by a diner she worked at to pick up her paycheck when there she was, my ex. Just sitting there alone, nursing a cup of coffee. She didn't see me at first, hell, she probably didn't recognize me wearing a nice suit. But I was taking Kim to the theatre that night, something I had always wanted to do but never got around to. It wasn't until Kim came hurrying out, dressed in a nice gown and I stood to meet her, that she saw me. We were out the door and into the limousine before she could catch us and although I never thought to look, Kim asked me who the woman was. When I asked her who, she said the one that almost caught our ride and was in tears.

Kim and I became more serious each day. Our first date, to the theatre had been in November and by April, we were having regular sex and had almost broached the L word more than once. She had been hurt in her past relationship and was gunshy also. I began going in and having lunch or dinner in her diner and would give her a ride home. By July, I dropped to a knee in front of her and to my delight, said yes.

We were married with little fanfare, she was estranged from her mother and my parents were across the country, having moved when they retired. By the time the wedding was over we had my home remodeled and an additional built on. There was 4 acres that went with the property and we were set.

My ex didn't know of our wedding and one day stopped by when I was sitting on the front porch one evening, waiting for my wife to come home from work. She didn't need to work, she just enjoyed doing it. Jesse was tentative as she walked up on the porch and I just looked at her. She took a seat and began talking, everything just came spewing out at once. Yes, she had sex with Tom, yes she made the biggest mistake of her life, but couldn't I forgive her? She would do anything to make it up to me, but she needed to be in my life again.

My wife pulled up and I saw Jesse's eyes narrow, wondering who my company was. Before Kim could get to us, I asked her if she was serious about doing anything for me and she answer yes. When my wife walked up the steps, I introduced Kim to Jesse as my wife and said my wish was for her to never bother me again. She left in tears and I've yet to see her again over the past 4 years.

gave you 4 and hope you'll keep writing disregard the asshole of Lit, dear annony!!!

He stood his ground and was a better man, but in the end he took her back even though she showed her true colors. Just don't get it. He should've stayed away from such a selfish person and found a better girl. How long before she finds another rich boyfriend to jet set off to another foreign land?

Ok, so they weren't married yet.....still, she did cheat on him. The prenup would have to be ironclad and give him custody if she cheated again before I would be happy about this situation. But then I would also want the guy to have sense enough to have her under surveillance as well. Basically she would be a high priced breeding whore, because no matter how much she says she loves him after what she did that is just what she is. He would be stupid to ever trust her again and he didn't come across as totally stupid, only mostly so. He could have taken his account of the beating to the same media his ex fiancee was so enamored with. As long as he didn't ask for money from the bastard the media would most likely portray him as an innocent victim and the slut and bastard as evil villains. Perception is just as good as reality sometimes. He had very little to lose, she would have lost her reputation and so would the bastard. That would have hurt his business costing him money. That would have been a most fitting revenge. Perhaps, if you read between the lines, that is what happened in the story. I just wish it was all laid out clearly.

You don't like your character.

let's face it people don't treat people like that.

He is just a safe place for her when the rich guy is boring.

These so called strong men stories that make them into willing cuckolds.

sHe cheated on him before things get routine over time.

This entire story made me so angry. Mark should've kicked Roger's ass. So long, he messed up his relationships, made him lose his job, and even took his fiancé. Fuck that.

When writing a story, the author should create a main character the readers either like, can identify with, or want to be like. In this case the main character fails to meet the qualifications. Readers, generally want to root for the underdog, the hero or main character was an underdog, but having him take Katy back makes him out to be a clueless sap, now there are plenty of those in real life, but they are not the makings for a hero. Rarely does one say I am rooting for the clueless sap, I want to be a clueless sap, so on this point the hero fails to meet the qualifications to be a main character.

I loved the story but hated the ending. Aniway 5*.

writing skills and some silly ideas about stories and why

And that's reason enough for me to continue reading your stories until I find out why

Well in real life I know of few men that would even consider taking Katy back. The word WHORE is perfectly fitting. She should have been left on the curb. All these comments about how happy they were with the ending is bullshit. It just wouldn't happen that way. Fucking one time maybe but going off and fucking even if not pleasurable is too much.

Not because I don't agree with Mark's decision to take Katy back - I'm still undecided about whether I would have or not in his position - but because Roger's ever increasing attempts to get to Mark seemed to be building up to something more climactic. Though offhand I don't know what I was expecting.

The story Primus was very good. The characters and writing was rather stiff. I attribute that to the second language issue. If you could get an editor to help with that you would have a great great story.

I enjoyed this . . . much more than most. There are a couple of thoughts that might have been interesting . . .

When Katy asks how much Lara could have loved him if her love could be bought off, I think he could have responded "How much were you paid for a betrayal that was a 100 times worse?"

When Katy insisted Roger was a good guy, he might have said to prove it, all Roger had to do was turn himself and his goons in for beating Mark up . . . and willingly do some jail time, because THAT would be the right thing to do. Otherwise, he was nothing more than criminal scum using money to manipulate people and she should be ashamed of being associated with him.

When his former employers told him Roger stood to lose 8,000,000 if he sold, Mark should have asked them how much Roger would lose if they went bankrupt, and refused to become involved until Roger sold it.

Lara should have used the money to buy her parents a nice cottage, a dream she had for them that she thought she could never afford. Her parents would refuse it, once they ran into Mark and found where it came from. They would not accept any gift from her after that. Further, they would tell her she should have become a sex-worker of some sort . . . since at least they take money for making someone happy. By taking money to hurt someone, she was a common thug. Mark would imply as much when seeing her one day and exclaiming, "Oh look, one of Roger's most brutal goons. Steer clear of that one fellas." She could feel terrible guilt and remorse . . . and at the same time make changes to the cottage and flip it for a nice profit.

She'd take the money, and offer Roger all the money he'd given her plus more, if he would free her from her obligation to stay away from Mark. Roger would agree, but only if he could take back the money as partial payment for a certain company he owns that he could no longer run. So, unbeknownst to everybody except Roger, Lara now becomes owner of Mark's former company, who can now hire Mark back. The company does well. Lara doesn't have much involvement with it, letting others run it, while she pursues her new interest . . .buying and flipping real estate.

When Katy says she'll do anything, Mark asks her to try and get him back with Lara, his true love. He doesn't mean this . . . he just wants to hurt her. She finally gets it, and agrees to leave Mark alone. In what she thinks is a final gesture of love, she goes to Lara, who's doing quite well, and in tears, asks her to take Mark back and make him happy. Lara agrees but says she has a better idea . . . the bottom line, Mark ends up with both Katy and Lara. Lara becomes quite wealthy, and her parents forgive her, and she does get them a nice place. She has one child with Mark, and Katy has three. The three of them (and their kids) all stay together, and live essentially happily ever after though never marrying. Lara makes a lot of money, Mark does okay too. Katy works part time and takes care of all of them. Katy is always a bit wistful when she sees a wedding, and sometimes quietly laments having just missed out on having one with the man she truly loves (while seeing it as an appropriate consequence of her earlier behavior). She pours immense time and effort into their children's eventual weddings.

Roger oddly enough, begins to realize his need to manipulate others is a sublimation of his same-sex urges, and accepts this, and that he has a crush on one of his goons. They end up marrying, and live somewhat happily together after . . . at least . . .as happily as a manipulative asshole and a thug can.

Sorry stev2244 - got carried away a bit . . . a good story does that to me.

I was loving it till he took her back!

Thoughts -

Typical Loving Wives stupid situation. The only way this works is he INSISTS that he go along, if she insists on going alone, she goes WITHOUT her ring, and she’s not to bother coming home.

Five hours is MUCH too long for a simple dinner, and she never answered his question about how SHE’D feel if the situation was reversed.

The second night, he HAS to tell her not to bother coming home, and, “I sleep on the sofa again?” Why? HE should sleep in the bedroom and lock her out.

And her disrespectful, dismissive attitude is unacceptable.

"Roger has invited me to accompany him on a trip to Paris. And I have accepted." – How is he allowing her to go wearing his ring? And she expects HIM to beg HER for forgiveness?!

“But this was my only chance to talk to an important man.” – But why did it have to be without Mark?

“Of course, in hindsight, you were completely right.” – No hindsight required, any NORMAL person should have known at the time that to accept a dinner invitation to a man’s house without your fiancé is wrong.

“manners or gentlemanly behavior” – What is mannerly or gentlemanly about seducing another man’s woman?

How did she expect to part of Roger’s lifestyle without leaving Mark?

These characteroctomies are a typical sign of talent strictly limited to the free self-publishing world.

"I don't want you to suffer. I just want you back. And he helps me with it. If she could be bought, she was not right for you anyway."

She has the fucking nerve to come out with a line like that?

dumb sob

Okay, if you cheat on me again I'm leaving. Okay, but if you cheat again I'm really really leaving. Okay, but if you cheat again I'm really really really leaving.

What? You've quit cheating. Let's get married.

And I stromgly suspect only a 12 year old would find any of this material new and interesting.

BTW: Rich boy is still in the wings waiting.

She cheated. He threatened to leave.

She cheated. He really threatened to leave.

She cheated. He left.

She cheated. He was put in hospital.

She cheated. He had to quit his job.

She cheated. He had his new girlfriend bought off.

She cheated. He moved away.

She says "sorry". He takes her back and marries her.

In what bullshit world other than Twishite would this be anything but vomit inducing cuckold crap?

1 star because I can't vote 0. Please refill this under "fetish".

chick had some stones to use the "she could be bought so she wasn't right for you" line....

JUST WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

1 star.

Man, I'm so disappointed in you.

The guy in this story doesn't really even quality as a guy....more of a brainless, idiot. One with zero self respect and no balls at all. The best thing that could happen to someone like this would be to put them down as quickly and painlessly as possible.

This is the first of your stories that has disappointed me. The acceptance back happened to easily and there was NO repercussions against the rich bastard - a little bit of money he will never miss and a piece of ass which was easily bought once and most likely will be again.

take what they want, there is no one to steal it back, no one to provide leverage (pun intended) was my first thought.

An den Schreiberling:

Mach weiter so! Kontroverse LW Stories sind die unterhaltsamsten, vorallem wegen der Kommentare. :)

Genau.

She's shown him her true colors. Now she's remorseful and he's going to take her back, ignore her previous actions, listen to her lies and take her back when he has money? Not get a pre-nup? Really? Seems unlikely. More over, that ending ruined a pretty good story.

and is just as bad

they deserve each other

He had it right, leave the BITCH to her own stupid mess. Move on, move on...