by DevlinMea
Aww! The ending was like you got tired of writing, so you just gave up and copped out. For that, two stars. 🙁
Tjreader got it right.
Next time, plot it out on paper to the end, rather than just in your head. Like an outline.
Kind of like middle school (would’ve freaked my 6th grade teacher!)
M
Well, Hell! You had a great story until you fucked it up by charging your buddies to gang bang her. God, man, she's still your mother & you turned her into a fucking prostitute. I don't care if she wanted or craved it, you're the one she submitted to. That means you're in charge & have the final NO. This shows that you've just thrown all of your love & respect of your mom out the window. You should be honored that she trusted you enough to become your mommy slut. Do whatever depraved shit to her that y'all want to do together or maybe a 3some once in a while but don't turn her to a fucking street hooker. That's just lower than whale shit. I'll restate my earlier comment, Damn, man, she's still your mom! She brought your ass into this world after all. Will wait to see what cums after the hooker gang bang but this deflated to a 3☆ fast due to the end. I hope the next chapter picks up post gang bang because that event will just be waste of space filler. JMO.
You have GOT to tell what happened in that room!!!! ESPECIALLY any ass action, DP or airtight screwing. Nipple clamps would be fun too!!!!!!
Good job!! I like the dirty, talkative mother. I'd love more description on her big tits and if she was into facials.
Hello, thank you for this story
The idea was good and it made sense in places.
It was great to read how he dominated her. but there is so much to experience.
Then the shitty end came. I've never read such a bad ending.
the ending from the brain of a 12 year old.
Please write a second part and just pretend that this group sex thing didn't happen...
Talk about her old days, let her do things for him, in public, with toys, control her, maybe the aunt or daughter if necessary. but no more gangbangs.
So not worth more than 3 stars.
I liked it. Also, with 83 stories on the site I think you've given these ungrateful bah-stahds their money's worth. (and they've paid $0.00) Creative work, weather it's painting, sculpting or music/performing arts takes time and energy. And sometimes you fall into a dry hole and have to bail on a creation. Thanks for posting; I like your writing and themes.
the 'whore' stuff pretty much ruined what could have been great. and yeah, the ending was a real train wreck, worst possible wrapup.