All Comments on 'Our Special Night'

Four stars, not bad.

Not bad at all. But, again, Mark was still walking upright. 4.5 stars, the Bear liked it. More, please.

The BEAR

4 stars. It might have been 5 if we heard something from Gwen after her marriage crashed.

Happy Valentines' day!

5

Too many unfinished sentences and logical errors for my taste. Towards the end, you even confused Gwen and Clarissa.

Gave it a 3/5

Enjoyed it a good story.

I think you gave Gwen enough redemption in the end. There's no need to dwell on her more. Another great submission.

Good story.

I never give high marks to stories where the protagonist ends up with the wife of the guy who cuckolded him. It is a specialty of LW stories, where so many authors think it is a great ending,.Despite what this author writes it does not happen in real life. Who wants to be reminded every day of being cuckolded, who wants to spend their life with the woman who loved and spend years sleeping with the man who humiliated you? I don’t get why only in the LW world people think that’s a happy outcome.

That was a good one but I've got a topper - try being married ON Valentine's Day and then divorced ten years later with two small children! Ruined every valentines day since. Well told, you dropped some words and had a few other technical errors but the message was clear - no cheaters. Kinda tough on your new wife to move in together then have to wait two years to get married. What did the kids all say about you living in sin? Keep them coming.

I always minus a star for a name eff-up. "I was surprised by Jake bringing home a letter Clarissa wrote to me." Why would his new step-mom have him bring home a letter for his dad? Because it should have been *Gwen* who wrote Matt a letter. Other than that, this was an okay story. No spelling mistakes (major or minor), all the punctuation seems to be right.

Real retribution for Mark. No real emotion from the husband.

A good story, however near the end the writer suffered from a common mistake.

The son Jake vivited his grandparents and brought home a letter from Clarissa, but Gwen was their daughter.

Apart from that 4*

Yesterday called “OUR SPECIAL NIGHT” was a different story. I didn’t have time to finish reading it, you removed it. Will it be published?

Meh

Well, she got what she deserved, but no what she wanted. 5*

:)

Eh middle of road. I find way too much narration. Very very preachy. Knowing The difference between writing a story that describes or authoring a story that unfolds before the reader makes the difference between a writer and an author. ie. she wrote a letter that said blah blah blah. Pen the dam letter into the story. It will allow the character another avenue to develop with the reader.

L liked the ambush aspect. D

I liked it

What happened to the time travelers.

Same old template. Wife wants to date husband calls out that she already cheated. Husband connects with wife of the guy she treated with and ends up marrying her. Not very exciting. Been done too many time by others.

thanks

While it was fun seeing Gwen get the scrip flipped on her and getting so tied into knots she couldn't speak ... the beginning was completely false.

We're presented Valentine's Day night as a completely normal version of their tradition. When Gwen says they need to talk the MC is apparently nervous and worried .. the hairs stood up on the back of his neck.

Then all the sudden he knows everything and is in complete control.

Good effort. Just didn't work for me.

The time travelers is actually a story called “Slingshot” over in Sci-Fi. Apparently mis-posted by Lirerotica.

"Nothing major, it just outlines that you will be required to move out, the separation of our finances and temporary custody arrangements for Jake..."

You can't kick someone out of their house, even if you own the house. Even if they are a cheating whore. Even if they won't give you want you want. you can't kick someone out of a house they are living in without significant notice and legal justification.

I mean, if husbands had this kind of power, a woman couldn't legally get her pregnancy terminated, even if she is going to die. Oh right, that's Texas...pretty barbaric.

I liked this one ...

FYI - in one paragraph, you said, "Clarissa" - when you should have said "Gwen" - took me a minute and my brain had to reboot.

Otherwise - excellent ... 5/5

I enjoy your writing, so Thank You. This story was ok but please stay away from describing legal situations. There was nothing to indicate Gwen was a bad mother so there was no reason for her to have to move out of their marital residence. Why didn't Matt move out? The decision as to who gets custody of Jake has yet to be decided! (that separation agreement) Plus, she would NOT have signed legal documents without passing them by her Lawyer. There is the big matter of who gets to stay in the marital home with Jake, a minor at 17.

Once he turns 18 he is an adult and the marital home can then be sold and the value split 50/50. (or one buy out the other at market valuation.) Matt doesn't automatically get to live there for three years after the divorce, until he decided to merge a house with Clarissa and her 3 children who were younger than Jake. But Jake is now 20 or 21 and no need to provide rooms for him and Charlette (25).

Sorry, my legal background and editing of scientific manuals makes me a pedantic prick for detail. (Oh, FYI Jake bought home a letter from Gwen, not Clarissa, as written. Pg 2, line 18.) That confused me for a bit. Cheers.

"Yesterday called “OUR SPECIAL NIGHT” was a different story. I didn’t have time to finish reading it, you removed it. Will it be published?"

-

It was a technical publishing error. The story is here: https://www.literotica.com/s/slingshot

Thank you for all the comments

Publishing this story is proving a bit of an epic. First Literotica published the wrong story in the text then when I republished it had a section that I shouldn't have published. That's on me. The rambling chunk at the end, which reads as a badly written epilogue, wasn't edited because I wasn't supposed to include it in the story.

Not to self, don't publish stuff when you are half asleep, especially when you enter it into a competition.

I apologise for this. I have submitted an update and in the mean time I hope it doesn't distract it from the story.

An interesting story of cheating but not being a loving wife. Liars almost always get caught and the end results aren't to their likings.

"Cheaters will always be cheaters" is quoted here in LW as though it's an obvious Law of the Universe. It's not.

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I DO agree with the phrase the same way "a killer will always be a killer", "an abuser will always be an abuser", or "a liar will always be a liar" are true--having committed a transgression, we can never undo it and will always carry the guilt.

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However, I disagree with the Law of the Cheater because cheating is no more habit-forming than any other transgression. It comes from a flawed character--I've got to agree with the old-time Puritans that we ALL have flaws somewhere--and a past cheater will be inclined to cheat again unless or until there are consequences for it; but to suggest that a cheater can never learn to stop certain behaviors regardless of how much it costs them is, I'm sorry, close-minded, prejudicial and probably hypocritical.

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The human spirit CAN learn new behaviors if we associate them with new values. The difficult part is being willing to learn new values when our sense of entitlement tells us our old values were not the problem--everyone else is.

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Which is to say that I have no problem with Gwen finding secondhand love later in life.

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Can mutually jilted partners find happiness together? IDK what the data shows. But the relationship would have to grow beyond sympathy, wouldn't it? I think it's overly complicated. He can't just woo her as the anti-Mark, and Clarissa can't just be the anti-Gwen; and neither can look at the other as the Rejectees from their previous spouses. The common elements that help make them friends would prevent them from becoming life partners.

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Just my .02.

Good story but moved to all narrative as it progressed. I felt like I was being rushed along as a reader. My interest in the characters and story diminished as a result. 3.8*

SOP Nice twist.

the epilogue portion was a little soft, otherwise I thought it was all good. Reading the letter Gwen sent may have helped redeem her character a little, giving a window into her sorrow and regret too. Ultimately she was stupid and naive and, within this story, never owned up to her mistakes. Instead she blamed her affair partner instead of realizing that she was equally at fault and could have said no.

A classic LW tale, and well done. Thank you!

Ah heck all just too neat, it is fiction I know but still life is just not like that. But thanks anyway

I don't like stories where the bad guys don't suffer lasting fallout. She ditched a long marriage to a loving husband so she could experience nothing more important than a couple new dicks, had her fun, found a new love and lived happily ever after.

Thanks, no.

Hmmm Now I know Men are afraid of commitments in West.

I will never understand this burning desire for authors to rewrite the exact same story that both they and others have driven into the ground ages ago.

I know of two sets of cheated on spouses that married. One long term survivor and one only short term.

Finally! Reality. That's what happens when you pull this crap. Like say your wife sleeps with your dad and gets pregnant. Then wants an abortion. Doesn't tell you, but tells our mutual therapist and says I'm the problem. No cuckold or polyamory. That hardly ever happens ever.

He knew in advance everything about her infidelity and already had prepared. So how come he was surprised about the topic of the conversation on "their special night". The way you described his thoughts, he seemed oblivious. When she told him about her lack of experience with other men, he could have easily confronted her with the Fotos and emails. That would have been easier, but you obviously wanted to keep the readers in the dark a little longer.

There were some more errors in this submission, so it gets only ⭐⭐⭐⭐. But, please, keep on sharing your stories.

This we need to talk really gets on my nerves.

I almost could sense my back hairs rising too.

Yes, once a woman SUGGEST, not talk or make some conversation, but really SUGGEST that they open their marriage, it is as sure as I'm staring at my monitor, either she has already done it or an emotional affair has been going on. Though I think it is not advisable for the other spouse to declare divorce immediately but I think the hubby/wife should verify after the SUGGESTION if there really is going on -- which I'm pretty sure the cheaters would meet up and evaluate their situation, in a hotel room most likely.

/

Decent work here @Dalton402.

I gave a 4-star because of the absence of violence.

Thank you.

This we need to talk really gets on my nerves.

I almost could sense my back hairs rising too.

Yes, once a woman SUGGEST, not talk or make some conversation, but really SUGGEST that they open their marriage, it is as sure as I'm staring at my monitor, either she has already done it or an emotional affair has been going on. Though I think it is not advisable for the other spouse to declare divorce immediately but I think the hubby/wife should verify after the SUGGESTION if there really is going on -- which I'm pretty sure the cheaters would meet up and evaluate their situation, in a hotel room most likely.

/

I think Gwen seems to be the winner here even though she did have regrets but then at least she got her wish -- she was able to have sex with Mark and other men then got some stupid SIMP to marry her. She had it all.

/

Decent work here @Dalton402.

I gave a 4-star because of the absence of violence.

Thank you.

had an above average to good start, but then a really rushed and dissatisfying ending. 3*

You took an "ok" BTB and totally ruined it with wimpiness.

Was a good story even though I knew where it was going was a good read was nice it worked out good for most at the end

Very good story. I have to echo RocketMan12 on the time traveler story. Even if it was in the wrong category I am glad you posted it. Please put it back out there.

A nice and soft BTB, with a "reverse talk" surprise. A realistic example of how much the selfishness and immaturity of some cheaters, make them so blind to believe to be the smartest guys in the world. All this "new modern lifestyle", aka "immature and irresponsible blind selfishness", is nothing more than a marriage and family suicide, even though the endless cheating-cuck bombing propaganda is trying to sell it for a "better life". No way. 5 full stars, of course, for this great balanced BTB..

What a tired theme.

Stereotypical story with a woman that doesn't have two braincells to rub together. But that's good because if she did, she'd have one more than the male MC.

3 stars - only because the idiot divorced the SLUT.

The story was quite boring and there was no drama or excitement.

The how, why, where, when and what questions were irrelevant.

This thing was completely devoid of any emotions or feelings, anger, angst, yelling - just the bare facts.

Not a bad story, just nothing unique in it.

I liked the first version of the story better this one is just a tad preachy and middling. I don't know why you deleted it though. 4*

Several folks have commented that some things don't match up in the flow and I agree. But as long as the cheating skank slut wife is burned, alls well that ends well!

A pretty well done version a a very well worn trope.

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Lacking was any serious conversation between tne 2 AFTER he and Clarissa dropped the bomb on her and Mark. As such, readers never got any further “read” on how and when it all went wrong on Gwen’s part. As well, she certainly didn’t seem too devastated by everyone in her family detesting her. Finally…the cheated on spouses getting together “happy ever after” was just too….trite.

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4 ****

Your request to "be nice" at the beginning was unneeded. I believe there are two types of readers here, ones such as myself, who will either like your story or not. We should be free to express their feelings. The rest, the cuckold crowd will be frustrated, sitting in their underwear trying to suck their own cock.

Cliches as old as Loving Wives. ""I don't think I could bear it if you slept with other women." - SHE couldn't bear it if he slept with other women, but she expects him to accept her sleeping with other men. Cheated on spouses getting together.

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"Jake bringing home a letter Clarissa wrote to me." - Gwen, not Clarissa.

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Unless I missed something, Gwen was back living with her living with her mother, so if the kids spent holidays with her, they'd at least also be spending them with their grandparents. I know he helped Gwen reconnect with Charlotte, but given the animosity, I'm surprised that she chose to spend Christmas with Gwen rather than her father.

Thanks for using accurate tags. As you marked, there were consequences, but no punishment or Burn.

ZK

Really ,what kind of married women in a loving and successful relationship would pull that kind of sick stunt. Did she have a brain tumor or is on drugs or brain washed .none of these. It’s a story maybe there are stupid women out their but this is beyond stupid

The use of the "I've only ever had sex with one man" trope poses an interesting question: could the marriage not have been annulled on the grounds that any woman who makes a conscious decision to remain a virgin until she is married then complains that she's only ever had sex with one man was never mentally competent to marry in the first place? And what's up with this evening up the score idea? Still, if it were not for such stupidity we wouldn't be able to be entertained by these fine stories. Four stars. JR

Started out well but quickly fell into a cliche filled exercise. Although it was a very short story it dragged. It appeared as if the writer didn’t know how to get off stage

Slice of life. Well done.

They got off way to easy.

Nice , good story. Enjoyed the twist where the tables were turned on Gwen! Cheaters never win.

Thanks for writing.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way about Valentine's Day. My wife left to be with another may too. Of course she died to do it, but I just can't look forward to that day anymore.

One page stories are a challenge to do well and I feel that Dalton hit all the marks with this story. While short, the story gave me a feel for the characters and also tied up the important story parts. And no, a sequel does not need to be written for those that want you to describe the next 10 years of Matt's life, as we already know he will rebound with an oversexed supermodel who just wants to make the right man happy ;p

Loved it!!

I liked that a lot! 5*****! The author covered the question of "How?" very well and the fact that she was already going into hotels with the other man levels any question of reconciliation. This is a character issue. He's not to blame.

Great setup to a BTB story. 5*

Doesn’t make sense. Starts with him not knowing what she’s going to say to him but ends with him having known all along!

Poor

4 stars - the whole bit about her ruining his valentines day when he had already planned to ambush her with the seperation papers and such, was too much

Well executed!

Cheers

5*

Loved it, however I would have liked a longer ending with a description of what happened during and after the divorce and for this reason I only gave it 4 stars.

A tell by the numbers story. The last three sentences could easily have been dropped. They really didn't add anything or bring closure. Still, it was pretty well written and gets 4*s.

Funny how the cheaters talking points are always the same. It’s as if there was such a thing as the Cheaters Handbook. Wait…. Anyhow, no comin back from this one for the wife. And by the time they utter those famous “We need to talk” words, the marriage / relationship is most assuredly over. These wronged spouses were sharp enough to see the signs in advance and form a plan. Most aren’t. 4/5 BRB

All a bit one-sided and inevitable. Like watching a tennis match where the score is 6-0, 6-0.

Standard fare; nothing especially interesting here.

The problem with these stories is that for years the woman has been a loyal loving faithful wife. Then suddenly she becomes a wanton arrogant almost sociopathic slut. Like she wanted his permission to continue fucking her work mate, went off on a fuck party on his birthday, and expected her husband to accept her betrayal out of Love for Her. She even claimed the asshole's wife was in agreement, which was obviously a lie or her being deceived by her fuck buddy. Anyway, she went from mature ethical responsible wife and mother to a trailer trash office slut. And we are supposed to think that's a normal change in human behavior?

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Either he married a selfish stupid whore in waiting, and who's fault is that? Or this woman went through some kind of psychological break down. but the only symptom is her sudden adoption of recreational sex. Usually people this fucked up have other behaviors and attitudes that gives them away. And this husband just let this long term wife walk off the cliff that he directed her toward. Well, it was all for the sake of the story, so I get it. In real life there would be the obvious question, did he ever want to salvage the marriage? Guess not. Good riddance. Wonder how their lives ended up.

This is very different to the story with the same name that you posted a few days ago. That was two pages of slowly building story and then a few blank pages. What happened to that story? Thank you for the read but I am just a little perplexed! Could you please share what happened?

OK; I saw the comment you left. I liked that other story frame t though!

We don’t celebrate it, either. No mushy worded card is appealing, either.

Short, sharp and right to the point.

nice

Very good!

Wheres the rest of the story??

Okay, and...?

Until you finish the story, you get nothing from me.

Excellent and incredibly funny. Nothing is better than watching the cheater get caught thinking they have the spouse by the short hairs.

4 stars.

I'm fond of short stories with satisfying endings. I

In this story though, the drawn-out explanation on how the adultery was found out, made it less satisfying in the end.

I prefer mic drops for short story endings. But that's just me. 😊

Nevertheless, this is a good read. Thanks for sharing.

Not about stupid ending it is about his whole life

While I do have to admit it was well written, it wasnt particularly interesting.....felt like I was reading a form letter.....everything all correct and by the book, but nothing original in it.

@onlythelonelylove

The problem with the other story was that it was written and published by another author. I haven't had an explanation from Literotica of what happened.

Do any cheating wives ever tell their husbands that they do not get the open aspect of the marriage when they spring this kind of shit on them? That was the point that this went over the top for me. I get that a cheater is incredible selfish to betray their partner in the first place but to then add that kind of insult on top of the injury just seems ridiculous to me. They are already asking for something so asinine then to insist that their husband doesn't also partake in the arrangement is exactly what this guy said, cuckoldry of the worst sort. They are already cheating how could they also then want to deny their husband the same experience, albeit in a very different form, from what they have already be engaging in? The thought process of a cheater is mind boggling. I cannot believe that more research hasn't been done on this as it has become such a common occurrence for a spouse to cheat in this manner after a decade of more of a happy and normal marriage. What changes a normal, happy spouse into someone willing to lie and betray their partner destroying so many lives in the process?

Tight storyline and right to the point, would be ok if he ran off the console the newly divorced wife of the db

Great story with husband busting cheating wife, and with the help of cheating asshole’s wife , ruining his life too. Not too many new plots available in LW, look at the exact same cuck story that’s posted many times every day. You told the story very well, and earned a *5 from me.

The germ of the story was fine, but the execution was not. It was hurried formulaic. Nothing new here. And of course the denouement fell off a cliff. Three stars.

JPB

3 stars for the abrupt ending. You just dropped the story, senselessly, at that point.

I liked the storyline, but it seemed the 'execution' didn't really BTB as the intro suggested it would.

A little more detail on how the discovery happened and why he decided to go into a separation instead of directly to a divorce would have fleshed out this 4-star tale.

But, it was an enjoyable story !

to nixrox,

would like to see you do better