All Comments on 'The Battered Lamp Ch. 19'

Doing too much and it is affecting the quality

I'm still really enjoying it, but the tension is a bit relentless in this story. The victories feel either minor or fleeting compared to the threats. Good team needs a big win

Of stupidity that Kyle and the genie shows is beginning to grate on me, loads of magic happens and not a single one can sense it. Not even that rakassa chick and her pet witch.

The weirdness snout Kyle’s relationship to Faiza continues to grate. In one sentence he is referring to her as Fatima’s mother, the next as his mom. I don’t know if you originally intended to have her be a step mother or some other relationship but sloppy editing to leave it so inconsistent. I’ve mostly gotten past the sloppy replacing of High School with college, to get around the whole “the story was originally written with underage characters” thing. I’m all for you reposting your old stuff to get it in front of a new audience but maybe use it as an opportunity to to an editing pass and rewrite problematic sections.

Here is the problem as I see it, you have the bones of a great story that transcends the ordinary wank material most of the site it, but the blatant idiocy displayed by some of the characters destroys the suspension of disbelief required to follow the narrative under all the T&A

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Time after time after time after time they make piecemeal ad hoc wishes for temporarily protection from emergent situations, why does it never occur to anyone to make permanent broad based contingency wishes?