All Comments on 'Unfriended'

"I'll get right to the point, Mr. Primack...”

If only...

All the bullshit in the second and third pages giving their life histories should have been cut and the confrontation when they got home should have been included. You only wrote the easy part and a bunch of fluff in the middle. Three stars.

But don’t drag another family through your shit just because you feel like you’re on a mission of retribution.

the rest of the story was so well done, I still gave it 5 stars. Finally, a well written, well crafted LW story. I enjoyed it.

this could use an aftermath chapter

Needs a bit more to finish the entire story. Brenda and George need to suffer badly by getting fired, and be completely shunned by the community. Don and Terry need to file suit against the Company that George and Brenda work for, and the company should suffer as well.

No, don't end it there! I wanted to see Brenda and George get totally destroyed!

The aftermath of a bitch burning is the best part, where she suffers all the consequences for betraying her husband. Her friends and family looking at her with disgust, the shame and humiliation, then having to deal with her husband's rage and refusal to forgive her... The confrontation and the aftermath is like the juicy payoff to a story, with all the rollercoaster of emotions that go with it.

It was a really good story, but going into all the back story with both couples wasn't necessary. A flashback from the jilted husband is fine, but I wasn't really interested in how George and Terry got together.

It was good, but could've been great!

This deserves a 2nd and 3rd chapter.

But on the plus side, there's none of the usual nonsensical LW BS about suing the wife's lover for alienation of affection and the company for not enforcing some legally unenforceable morals rule.

If divorve comes that quickly, the marriage was already on the rocks.

An aftermath or not? One side says it's not needed, but a so descriptive and well written story, needed at least an epilogue with how everything went to all the people involved...However a solid 4*

. . . what awesome, porn quality sex George and Brenda had. He just planted in everyone’s mind the thought that Brenda was fucking George because Don wasn’t nearly as good in bed.

Oh, I know: the story doesn’t say that, but as the LW commentariat assumes things not said in the story, so will the viewers of the videos. They won’t have all of the background information, but go straight to the assumption.

Sometimes when you seek revenge, some of it falls back on you.

the positive comments. The opening and meeting between Don and Terry was wooden and drawn out far too long and moved way too slowly. Part way down the first page we see the header about seven years ago. The rest of the first page and the entire second page served no purpose. Why would anyone want to know where or when they met, what the dog's name was, or where Aunt Mary lived? It has nothing to do with the plot and is simply wasted words and space. Much of the story is extremely passive as people sit and talk, or sit and think. If you had cut this story to half the length, you'd have had a much better story. Again, the wife is suffering, so this will score well. That is about all it takes these days. I do thank you for not blowing George's balls off and nuking the entire cruise ship. I appreciate your restraint.

. . . will also be revenge against his children. Kids are tech savvy, and it won’t be long before they find pictures of the mother of one of their classmates fucking on the beach.

In burning the bitch and the bastard, the flames will scorch Don and the children he loves as well.

I have unfortunately been involved in many divorces both in my family and in my counseling practice. The reality is that no one wins when there is no forgiveness. I could go biblical and say "you can't be forgiven if you don't forgive" which is the heart of "judge not lest yea be judged". Notice it is not won't be forgiven, it is CAN'T be forgiven because you can't receive forgiveness until you forgive. You can't really move on until you forgive. My counseling practice came from watching my own parents marry and divorce over and over and watching the destruction that caused. The unfaithfulness and promises to themselves that "this time it will be different" devastated them but also everyone around them. The forgiveness is what destroyed them all in the end. If you can't forgive you can never truly move on. Forgiveness, like anger, is a cancer that will never resolve until it is expressed, accepted, and moved beyond. The BTB crowd will never survive their pain, it will contaminate ALL their other relationships, it destroy them.

to post the epilog. Must have been an oversight.

JimC

One of the best I have read on this site in awhile. It would be really nice to have a follow up aftermath chapter. Keep writing please.

After two pages of bullshit fill in about their past, you completely ignore the consequence part and start to make Don a wimp! Run out of ideas? Too nice to nuke them? Or do you just get off fucking over your readers? You now have at least one ( and I suspect many more) less readers of your stories. Thanks for nothing.

And I hate it when illiterate idiots misquote the Bible. Not to turn this all biblical, it's Literotica after all, but the quote ACTUALLY is

"Do not judge lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." — Matthew 7:1-2

Since the fictional Don was NOT a cheater, his own behavior COULD be judged by the same measure he laid on his cheating wife. If you are NOT a thief. it's fine to call a thief a thief. So screw the idiots who use half-quotes, dragged out of context, to justify whatever misbehavior they want to. The actual quote meant, in short, "Don't be a fucking hypocrite."

(Sorry to be pendantic, IntuitiveJ. I loved the story.)

Very well done also. Nice concise to the point, told a lot of story in a small timeframe. well done

The worst part of this kind of situation is the family destruction and the unnecessarily severe persecution of the innocent husband(Don) THERE SHOULD BE A SPECIAL PENALTY FOR WOMEN WHO DO THIS TO THEIR FAMILY! To do this and then get half of the assets of the innocent spouse is the essence of injustice. The US is very proud of it's 'justice system' but things like "no fault divorce' prove the USA is basically a childlike country with no idea about justice. Sorry folks, I just got off my soapbox and I'm logging out! 5**** for the storytelling but the content is worth only the disgust and disrespect of all civilized humans!

The lack of any information about the kids was A lost to the tale. IT was A

revenge tale rushed without much feelings in it.

Need closer. Need to see them beg . And still get shit on . The wife really

Euh... nope. That ain't it, chief.

I actually agree with you that carrying any unresolved anger you may have for an ex will ultimately hurt you more than it would hurt said ex... but giving forgiveness immediately after learning about a spouse's betrayal?

Not only is that unhealthy, that's actually fucking idiotic.

What exactly was Don and Terry supposed to do here - blame themselves for their partners' affair? Tried to find reasons for them stepping out of their marriage? Just discarded the year-long cheating with a simple "Who cares? They really love us!" and move on with their marriage!? Yep - fucking idiotic...

Those two felt pain. And they wanted the ones that caused that pain to them to feel it back tenfold. They wanted to make sure their whole entourage knew exactly why their respective marriage died and whom was to be blame for it. They wanted retributions for everything they've put into their relationships, and obviously didn't get back from their spouses.

You know, they were acting like any normal human beings who have acted, given the situation and, especially, the opportunity.

This wasn't a story about moving on, let alone forgiveness. This was a story about the destructive nature of adultery, and its possible repercussions. Yes, this one was definitely brutal (not the most extreme one here, by a long shot, but still... you felt the burn!), but don't you dare, for a second, come here and act as if the cheaters didn't have it coming. George and Brenda created the bomb; let's not act all shock and chagrin that it ended up blowing up in their faces.

Forgiveness can come along later, if needed... But let's not create fantasies were BTB aren't needed or expected. Hell, your assumptions that such actions isn't even realistic is baseless and stupid - if it weren't, laws against revenge porn wouldn't exist! I know a couple of 'family law' lawyers, and the horror stories they've told me about separations, divorces and the back-and-forth between exes would make a lot of BTB tales around here look quite tame (but why am I telling you this - you're a counselor, so you should know all this, right?) Whether or not Don and Terry decided to eventually forgive their soon-to-be-exes is solely in IntuitiveJ's mind, but he apparently was so uninterested by such an idea, he didn't even bother given us a proper epilogue here, so... too bad, so sad, but not happening!

So yes - it's good to get pass the anger, and, if you can even get to a place where you can forgive, even better... but you cannot get there without acknowledging the anger, otherwise any type of forgiveness would be meaningless. And, like it or not, anger usually comes out in very ugly ways... it's human nature. And, real talk, stories about anger and retribution are hella more interesting than stories about forgiveness. Let's not front and claim otherwise.

Personally, though, forgiveness is overrated - it damned on me, a long time ago, that I've never be as forgiving as Jesus Christ, as I was taught as a child, regardless of my best efforts. What can I say - I can acknowledge my issues...

INDIFFERENCE, however, that I can do easily and often! Way better than forgiveness, in my book! But that's a whole other conversation...

I have a hard time with a story where a parent, no matter HOW wronged, decides to nuke their child's life. I'm not talking about Brenda. What she did to Don was horrible but it was relatively private. I'm talking about Don. He turned his children into sitting ducks for every vicious bully in school to taunt and tease. That's the problem with these type of stories: they satisfy readers' blood lust (and get good scores because of that) but they are actually horrible things.

if you read the same story that I did you might have realized that Don knew that there would be repercussions on him and the children. The bigger and better comments never even touched on whether George was a better man than Don it just said that Brenda went out looking for something new and strange. I forgot Reed how many times of you been married? Did they end because you found better or because they did.

Yes the back story was a little drawn out but if J han't put it in there he would have to latter on if he does a follow up. With the amount of Cuck crap that has been posted lately it was nice to read a story where the Cuck new going in that he was going to get just as much fallout as the Bitch.

Reed, you commented about how quickly he pulled the trigger on divorce, well would it have been better for him to sit around and give her another year or two? Now that she had tasted something new if it didn't blow up in her face would she continue to seek out more lovers in the future? the problem with Cuck loving stories are they just keep wanting more. So when she got back she decided she liked so much that she bought Don a nice little cock cage and told him about his new roll was pie eater. Enough is enough.

A very long and boring read involving a plot that as been done to death!

The only thing that could ruin this story would be a follow up that even hints at reconciling. These two wanted to act like pigs, let them wallow like pigs in the mess that they made. When pigs outgrow their usefulness it's time to slaughter them. And Don and Terry did a good job of it. Now, let them leave the costs of their actions.

@ the Anon Counselor, who says you can't forgive, after you BTB? Turning the other cheek is a fine thing. That said, how many cheeks do you have?

@ HDK, Not saying I liked that story overall but I thought the M-80's taped to his balls was clever and original. Plus it was the bad guy that nuked the ship.

It seemed like a lot of filler and then an abrupt ending.

This was a really well written story and would be 5 stars but the conclusion was too short. Let's hear what happened next. Could there be any reconciliation? Jobs, kids, visitation, new partners. Let's hear Brenda begging and being shunned by old friends and being hit on as "easy" Lots more to tell about.

And I really mean the story as a whole, here.

Such ultimately unnecessary built-up of characters, all those 'previously' that weren't really needed to tell this tale properly, all leading to a very unsatisfying abrupt ending that didn't give us the true scope of the fallout of Don's plan.

Reminder to authors trying their hands at BTB: give us the scheme, its execution AND its repercussion, and we'll be happy. Wanna give us scenes of the cheating or proper back stories to your characters? Sure, why not. But, if you're not giving us the aftermath of the payback... well, all you're doing is hurting your story.

As it is usually the case with him, ReedRichards' whining sounded quite apologetic towards the cheaters' action - hey, that's his brand - but he sure had a point about Don's scheme ultimately hurting his kids, because there's really no way around it (although, calling it a 'revenge against his children' is absolutely moronic.) So... why couldn't we get that? Why couldn't we witness Don dealing with some of the negative repercussions of his actions? We saw him enjoying his payback, but would he feel the same after seeing what it may have done to his kids, to the rest of his family? No way of knowing now, sadly, because we're not stuck with an unfinished story.

Also, unless he took great precautions, there's a good likeness that Don will end up in jail for his plan... Yes, you can track who last logged on your Facebook account, based on the IP address. The author made no mention of Don using a VPN to cover his track, so, if he did what he did on his own, personal devices, without any other safeguards... yeah, he's kinda fucked. Revenge porn laws are real and aren't something to joke about - ask the guy behind the Fappening what he thinks of them. Not saying he cannot get away with it, but a vindictive Brenda and/or George could very well press criminal charge and even a civil suit over it, and, if he wasn't careful, he could pay dearly... both monetary and with his freedom. Yep another thing we'll never be too sure about.

Most of the time, I find epilogues ridiculously long, around here, but turns out that the lack of one is even more egregious. You took out one of the best parts of your story, author, simply to deliver us one hell of an unsatisfactory "You've been served" as an ending. Even though I overall enjoyed the spirit behind this whole enterprise, for such a long, throughout built-up, it certainly felt like a waste.

Thats how you do it. Not some pathetic loser cuck crap.

This was written awkwardly. When you did the scene flashback, I just spun my mouse wheel to avoid that whole section. We already knew they were happily married, that section, unless it revealed something internal, was irrelevant.

It was written like a French Curve: We go forward, than loop back, loop forward to Terry...loop back.

It wasn't bad but I would have used less awkward ways to establish their relationship to make us care. Since I didn't care, the story had less impact.

The flashbacks added nothing to the story.

"Brenda had been trying to dress more nicely, and had even been wearing a little makeup." - Don't most working women wear "a little makeup"?

Why are these wives always so concerned about attracting a man? They've already attracted a man enough for them to get married. How is her life different if zero other men are attracted to her, or if every other man in the world is attracted to her?

She KNOWS he's got more on his mind besides dinner, but agrees to go anyway? Of course, SHE also has more on her mind besides dinner!

I can see trimming the pussy hair, but why does shaving her legs require a special mention?

Ah, the handsome, sophisticated man wants her. I guess it's that damn female ego again!

They discovered they had a lot in common. Ha! I'll bet she spoke first, and he tailored his responses to hers.

Terry's not going to get much spousal support when George loses his job. I think BOTH will lose their jobs. Brenda, not for the affair, since George is higher in the company, but they BOTH were supposedly on company time, so they probably violated company rules by using the time for the cruise.

"They always knew what the other was thinking" - Heh, not this time!

"In fact, it does make me look like a slut," Brenda thought. "And it makes me look so cruel and disrespectful to Don and our marriage." - It makes you look like that because it's true!

She thinks that HE'D be cruel to do that to HER? What the fuck does she think she was doing to him?

There's no grounds for a suit against the company, the company had nothing to do with it. In fact, George and Brenda ripped off the company using company time to conduct their affair.

That's not how any of this works. Man those dialogue lines were so robotic.

If you decide to tackle backstory as character development, OK IF

IF

You are continuing to project the FULL Character Arc all the way through until completion.

So,

If you are planning an abrupt ending of "well, what do YOU (the reader) thinks happens next?" then, previous backstory will be received as wasted effort. Also, I agree that the most important part of these stories is the confrontation scene. It is the literal climax to a story in this genre. When it is missing, the entire story suffers. And it is a shame really, because the building blocks of this story seemed well in place as a solid foundation to realize and bring forth a really good and solid character driven effort. Better luck next time, and please keep working at it. Thank you very much in any case!

But, one more thing. I speak for myself here, but often times a story hits a note that gets me thinking. And after reading this, I started thinking about the part in this (and so many stories) where the Hubby gives the cheating wife "ONE LAST CHANCE" to change her mind and NOT go off with the lover. It got me thinking about what happens if she HAS been having second thoughts, and when hubby says just cancel the trip, stay here with me and the kids, and we'll go to Fun World.... She actually DOES! Wouldn't that just have rocked the shit out of Don???? Now how does HE cope with the idea that he just threw her a life preserver that he expected her to be too distracted to grab, but she defies expectations, and DOES? All of his BTB plans out the window, now he has to work on fixing the marriage instead.

Sure, in this story (and most all like it), she is too self absorbed to catch the hint. It makes it much easier to continue the hate, and justify the revenge. But this is why I think that this change would bring a unique set of challenges to an otherwise boiler-plate retelling of the same old sad story.

Food for thought? Thanks again, author, and have a great day!

But.....but...Don hasn't taken a swing at George and broken his jaw!!

How could you, how could you end it so early?

He is also a perceptive critic-and a bit of a tease.

You built the story in such a way that had me on the edge on my seat. What will the spouse do? What will the revenge entale? The end though? I think not. 🌟🌟🌟🌟

The problem I have with this story .is Dons planning after finding out Brenda’s infidelity . A divorce in a no fault state,she keeps the kids and get alimony and child support payment. Plus if she losses her job those payments become huge.he goes to the poor house till the kids reach 18 yrs of age. So how did this plan work out. Not very well. He could have use all those videos to force her into a equitable divorce. Now he has no leverage .this is the way this writer wrote this story. Dons wife fares better gets half of everything and some alimony . Since the kids are gone Don walks away with half and his job loss will lower the maintenance to terry. So who really got revenge here. All are paying a terrible price and don is going to be screwed. That the way our system works without a prenuptial that spells out what a cheating spouse ends up with. The owner and cheater at Amazon bozos got away with the mandatory calif settlement as she was good to him and took only 43 billion even though she could have walked away with a 100 billion. Who needs that kind of wealth. But the average guy gets fucked.

One of the best revenge stories ever.

But I would also complain about how the Hit so many innocents with the nuclear

blast. It is also surprising that the Porn did not attract more friends. Basically the way it was sixty years ago I believed in free love outside of marriage. But if you have already taken a vow----

but the story will have to unfold in later chapters. TK U MLJ LV NV

...For the cheaters. A well developed story and a justly burned bitch. The only thing lacking is her crocodile tears and the pathetic delusion that she can make it up to her husband and family for a long, calculated and ongoing betrayal.

5*

You did a very good job in the writing until the end when the story dropped off the cliff with serving the divorce papers. Then what happened? That would have been the most interesting part of the story. The reason I didn't like the story is that Don and Terry cut their noses off to spit their faces. Yes, they want and deserve revenge. But in getting that revenge they ignore the collateral damage. If George gets fired will he get another job as good as the one he has? If not, Terry's alimony goes down. Brenda is going to get the house and custody. The Courts don't care about infidelity and Mother's get custody short of violence, drugs or alcohol issues. So Don is going to live in a crummy apartment and see his kids every other weekend. His alimony will go up if Brenda gets fired. And what do you think their kids will think when they see their Father and Mother in their glory on Facebook? Terry's are older and out of the house. But Don's kids and their friends are going to be severely effected by the postings. So for a few days, Don and Terry get some revenge. But in the long run they've smeared they spouses, themselves, their kids and everyone else they know and don't know. Which makes Don and Terry dumber than rocks. Bad idea and a bad, unfinished ending.

2 stars

Now, if someone older purposefully shows them to the kids (an adult) it would be a crime in most states, and at least far less likey.

...but certainly aren’t always right about forgiveness. For some people you have to get “even” to be able to feel the balance to allow forgiveness; some of us are just childlike that way. Perhaps the most emotionally balanced and mature of us can just forgive and forget, but to turn the other cheek can be very difficult.

— WARNING: playing the WWII Jews card here —

Sure, plenty of Jews from concentration camps “forgave” their captors (or POWs in Japan/Vietnam/Korea/Russia), but a whole lot didn’t. Or the parent’s of a murdered child forgives the murderer, which I find extraordinary. And do you blame them? If you do blame them, then you are an insensitive idiot. I totally applaud those that did, but I certainly don’t blame those that didn’t. Of course marital infidelity is WAY-WAY-WAY-WAAAaaay less bad, but I’m just giving you one of the most extreme examples available to show a point. Some people can, in the end, forgive almost anything. Others cannot. It’s all a matter of continuum: from forgiving a person from accidentally bumping into you in a hallway, all the way to forgiving genocide. To live peacefully in a civilized society you must be able to forgive a certain amount of unpleasantness happening to you, but at some point in that spectrum most of us come to a point where enough is enough. For most of is, somewhere around that balance point, many of us can forgive IF a modicum of balance is restored.

Obviously, YOU can forgive marital infidelity. Good for you. And depending on the type/how of infidelity I might be able to forgive too. I think I could certainly forgive a one-night drunken after-party fuck, but a several month affair, and planned week long fuck-a-thon vacation? Especially after I pleaded for her not to go? I don’t think so. And knowing how the courts would rape me financially? I’d have to get my comeuppance somehow, IF I could.

Well, enough. I know wait to be raped for using the Jew card.

I have to agree with HDK’s comments that there was no need for all the history and background since we knew right away that Don was headed to divorce court. However, much of story dealt with destroying their reputations via Facebook posts and story cuts off abruptly at airport with no details on what happens to the adulterers’ social, family, and professional relationships after their return from the “conference”. I also wondered if they lied to employer about the conference, if so that could be a reason they could be fired even if employer didn’t care about their inappropriate relationship outside of work.

Especially after you dragged out the details of Don and Brenda's relationship. As others pointed out, there are consequences that should have been resolved. The children's reaction is the most obvious.

<P>

However, the consequences regrading their jobs is another. You mentioned briefly about them losing their jobs. That's obvious since they were supposed to be at a conference -- even if it as so-called canceled -- so they were defrauding their employer. Then there the probability that company has a fraternization policy, meaning Don would probably be able to get a settlement against them, again since they did all of this on company time.

<P>

Face it, you didn't end the story, you just stopped.

Fit in the self-dug graves, and were burried with smiling faces. Otherwise, you must always pay the piper when he plays.

Significant character development is rare in LW stories. Clever plot, too. Ignore the bed-wetters - the "counselor" droning on about forgiveness. I doubt that he can give a convincing account of what it means. It's usually just a bit of quasi-meaningless jargon, like "closure", that people like to throw in because it makes them sound "compassionate." As for RR's comment about the video affecting the children...the children are young, the net is awash with porn, and the likelihood of them running into it years in the future are slim to none. Even if they did, it would hardly be the end of the world. They would at least understand why it was their mother's behavior that tore the family apart.

@etchiboy - As someone of Jewish background, I have no problem with you Holocaust analogy, I find it quite valid.

There have been several comments regarding back story, and how the time spent there would have been better spent on the aftermath. While I totally agree with the second half of that statement, I feel that even WITH the aftermath, any back story that doesn't DIRECTLY relate to the story, i.e. did she show him lack of respect or exclusivity when they were dating? Otherwise, we're dealing with a married couple, it's not news that they met, dated, got engaged and married.Maybe you think you've got a really great "met cute" story; maybe you do, and maybe we'll even share a chuckle over it. It's STILL wasted space!

If they think their in trouble now, just wait! Both unemployed, unfit mother, since their old firm is being sued they will probably be blacklisted.

It's so nice to hear the results of betrayal coming home to roost.

Go for it use two matches! Burn both bitch and bastard!

I liked the story except for one lil thing, how did the cheaters expect to go nude sunbathing and explain a lack of tan lines "while at a conference"...?

I would like to have seen the cheaters somehow abondoned from the ship and stuck away from home for a long period of time, making abandonment an easy ending for the poor spouses back home...however, I just read stories...I don't write them.

5 stars for the burn

Great story please continue

Think it needs another chapter, to stretch out the pain. Don’t care about the cliches and cuck supporter comments. Went to sleep happy.

Good STORY and nice character development. 5*s. Unlike many readers, I actually liked the flashbacks to happier romantic times. I think it helped secure the plot.

On the negative side, I think you could have explored a bit more how two apparently faithful spouses could cheat so easily. And I would have liked to learn more about what came after the last airport scene. Is there a part 2 Here? I hope so.

Overall, good job.

I just can’t believe what Don did, breaking up our marriage and hurting our children. Your honor, he is just too unstable to have joint custody. Yes, I had a brief affair, but at least I was discreet about it, and it is out of my system now. but Don knew I was being unfaithful and he did nothing to stop me. In fact, rather than confront me and stop me from going with George, he used my fling to humiliate me in front of all my friends and family. He must be mentally unstable to do what he did, and i’m afraid his need for revenge will make him a danger to our children. So, your honor, I am asking for sole custody, and of course, the house, and 80. Percent of our savings and income. Don should not be allowed to have any contact with our children until they are over 18. He is just too vengeful.

Now, finish it.

i love when there are consequences to cheating

5* 100 hardons and the start of precum dripping

Ever read one of those old Victorian novels where the author spends paragraphs, maybe pages, describing what the sea looked like crashing against the rocks? It was like the author was trying to do with words what a painter does with his oils. Obviously the painter has to do what it takes to create the visual effect he wants. But pages and pages of information about meeting and dating and where they went and what they did and how great their marriage used to be, for what purpose? We know she has become a cheating whore, apparently because its fun and exciting. That's it. Like a sociopath who has no conscience or basic human decency. She decides it would be fun to fuck George, she discovers it is fun to fuck George, so she proceeds to fuck George as often as she can and get away with it. Pretty simple.

Someone once asked a famous gangster why he robbed banks. His answer: "Because that's where the money is." Brenda is fucking George because she wants to, and she can. Brenda is a sociopath because she is constrained only by external limitations. She has no morality, ethics, nor any respect for herself or her family.

But the rub for Don is that nowhere does the author illustrate any significant change in Brenda's personality or character. Brenda is the person Don married, which means she's always been selfish, stupid, shallow, and lacking in normal human decency. Which means Don got what he married. Which means Don got what he deserved. He spoiled her, pampered her, doted on her, so she probably thought even if she got caught Don would forgive her.

So we have the contradiction of a Don who so enamored and uncritical of a spoiled wife that he couldn't kiss her ass often enough, now becoming a wrathful scheming executioner, without giving Brenda any chance to explain or make amends. It leaves the story kind of hollow and disingenuous.

And just when we get to the part where reality finally crashes down upon Brenda, the story ends. So we never really understand her motives and her thinking, or how her family and children respond, how her career suffers, and how she moves forward to either salvage her marriage, or cope with her new reality of being a notorious slut, home wrecker, cruel wife, and negligent mother.

Too bad. Just when you had the chance to make the story great, you made it end. Well, at least we know all about their dating and courtship. That was really helpful in understanding why she became a cheating whore, and how she plans to recover her life and her self respect.

Thanks for the effort.

. . . how many companies really fire good producers for having affairs?

It’s a common LW trope, but c’mon, ina construction company, most of which are very male dominated,George is more likely to get congratulated for bagging one on the side rather than getting fired.

The Mann of Dragons must’ve confused me with someone else; I said nothing at all about how quickly Don decided to divorce Brenda. He also asked about my marriage; I’m on wife number one, for over 35 years now.

. . . Don put the sex tapes on Brenda’s Facebook page , specifically so her friends would see it. When the friends start gossiping, some of their kids will overhear it. This kind of stuff doesn’t stay secret among the adults, and the more Facebook friends Brenda had, the more loose lips will flap.

What happened next?....Sheesh!.....Great Story Please Finish It!...★★★★★.WOOF

Writer here.

First, let me say, I have the utmost respect for the readers. Without readers, fiction writing would be a mostly useless endeavor. I’m fairly new at this craft and do spend a lot of time building characters and back-story. I want the reader to know the characters so the emotions feel real and the events consequential.

Many commented I needed to finish this story. It wasn't my intent to leave you hanging. Maybe I’ll try a first-person account from Brenda during the aftermath? I haven’t written in the first-person style and would like to give that a try.

Thanks for reading and thanks for all comments, positive or negative.

Disregarding my own Title advice, it is STUPID to get that kind of revenge ... especially for Terry. With the VP job lost (and not a lot of openings due to notoriety), Our Venal ex-VP will NOT be able to support Terry’s alimony at a level anywhere close to the way she is accustomed to living. Break his knee, instead, and inform him it is in lieu of getting him fired and black-balled.

Same for Sweetie (except for the knee.) Keep her employed and being part-time Mom. Revenge? Have her make a bonfire with her cruise clothes. Should be a small flame!

Oh, yeah, the story? Liked it (despite the author -& crew- not thinking through their futures), but it sounded stilted in places. Thanks for NOT having Don and Terry hook up!

"Learn to quote," said the editor to the gutless neophyte. He turned sarcastically to the pseudo editors in the group and pressed, "nice job".

The only interest this story held was the partners' patience in letting the hammer fall. It helped pound the reality of what was done into the cheater's heads. It also forced a hellish return trip that was emotionally ruined by thoughts of the pending actions once off the "boat".

The gratuitous BS is unnecessary. Such as the following: "...She may be a cheater, but she was a good mom to the kids...."

I'm unsure what kind of parents you come from, but what kind of "good parent" steals time from her family and devotes it to others (or a job if it is not needed to keep the finances in order...). Socially this era of civilization is coming to a bad wake-up call.

"...And as angry as he was with Brenda, he did still feel love for her...." Yeah, because he is a dumb-ass!

"...She was intelligent and witty. They always knew what the other was thinking and always enjoyed their time together...." except did he really know her? She did after all pull the wool over his eyes for a year. What part of that says you are simpatico with this illusion of "partner"?

Beginners BS. You will learn with time and better editors that simple mistakes and crap like this are what will get you beaten by comments on sites like this.

Also, you want to put some meat behind the cliffhanger. They get off the boat and are met by deputees of the court. There needs to be more after all the build-up and their waiting those last couple days in emotional turmoil. The reader is expecting more as well.

Smokepole

Great story thanks!

While being served at the pier off the boat sounds good on paper I feel a second chapter of face to face war would have given it that "burned'em both" feeling.

. . . I think the ending was fine. We knew that two divorces were coming, and we had already read that Don had pulled out half of their funds from she bank, so little thought was given to ongoing fiscal revenge; perhaps the author had, in his mind, set this in a no fault state?

George and Brenda were both worried that he, and possibly she, might lose their jobs for having an intracompany affair, but job losses like that, both of which would happen before the divorces could be finalized, simply make things worse financially for Don and George’s wife; Don will have to pay more, not less, in alimony and child support, and Terry will get less in alimony because George doesn’t have the money to pay more.

Don, it should be remembered, was specifically hoping for joint custody, so he wasn’t even looking for a situation in which hw wouldn’t have to pay child support.

The ending was such that George and Brenda were left with some slight hope that they could save their marriages, and then being jointly served on the pier provided the final crushing blow to that slight hope.

I thought it was a good place to end it.

ReedRichards - As you say, he wouldn't be fired for having the affair, except as how he might have exposed the company to a sexual harassment suit. He WOULD be fired for lying about his time, billing the company for non-existent conferences, and extended stays on business trips to enable his affair.

IntuitiveJ - I understand what you're saying about the backstory, the problem is, it didn't work! All we learned is that they met, dated and got married, which is understood.

Loved the story, the detailed reactions and descriptions of the 4 participants. It was a nice slow burn. I agree with your comments post and others that you ought to compose a sequel. Afterall, you left it wide open to do so, and I bet with your skill it would be juicy good. If you do write a followup, I would keep the same style as part 1, continuing the story from all 4 participants perspectives and not just Brenda's. It might be easier.

Your style reminds me of one of my all time favorites. .. The Bridge by RichardGerard.

... it doesn't feel finished. The fallout has yet to occur, the burn has been done - but not the resolution - therefore it feels like 2/3's of a tale.

4/5

Full marks

Now finish the damn story!

I have to agree it is mostly completed but you left a JPB with only a hint of the fall out. The burn is there but no resolutions and really not a full BTB just a strong hint. Definitely NO reconciliation in this story. I will give high marks for truly showing the title ‘Unfriended’ in the story.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

Hopefully more of a full or a more fall out ending as you see it!

I enjoyed the story and believe there could have been added details, but like ReedRichard I think the story is complete. The character Don got his revenge on his cheating wife and her boy friend. He stated it was his intention to divorce her and he did embarrassed her to his satification.

I would encourage the author to continue writing and to read the feedback and take what he or she thinks is useful for his or her continued development.

Really enjoyed this one and the FaceBook revenge was a very creative burn! But I like many before me believe that a 2nd chapter is needed to wrap things up. Thanks for the story and please keep writing. Look forward to your next contribution.

"Buckeye Fan"

Tell how Teri and Don get together. And how well the brb worked.

Hilarious! Entertaining! No, not the story, but the comments. As always the comments are priceless. Far as story, kind of an extreme way to handle an unfaithful spouse. No confrontation, which are always fun, same old excuses, but then this is loving wives. Well one think we all should be grateful for, it wasn't another willing cuckold, wimp husband, turn your wife into a whore tale. 4* for the entertainment.

A very good story that opens up some great.possibilities in a follow on. The best part of a good BTB is the face to face confrontation that would follow being served. The story is good as ended, but there is so much more to the story that could be told. You're on to something here.

Let's imagine some of the consequences of the public BTB exacted by Don and Terry.

1. Terry lost about $100,000 in annual alimony for life from George's $250,000 annual income until he retired at 67 (George must have been around 54 at this time?). George lost his position at the construction company and the public nature of his firing made him unemployable in the industry. He couldn't imagine starting in a new industry and decided to retire instead in Mexico cleaning toilets in a Mexican whorehouse for once a month pussy. Loss to Terry $1.3 million.

2. Terry felt secure that George had been investing well for their retirement. While she would have to split that in half with George she still felt she was set up for life. George had always handled money matters including their investments. She didn't realize George wasn't saving as much as she assumed as they were living rather large, what with all the travel and the big house. Terry found out that their investments took a big hit during the Great recession and George pulled what remained out because he had to cover for the kids' college education. He had always exaggerated to Terry about his success at investing. In addition, George also had been going through mid-life crisis and was spending lavishly the last few years. Devin Construction had gotten rid of their pension plan 10 years earlier and all they had was the 401k which George had also raided over the last several years, paying penalties and taxes. Terry found out that in total including the equity in the house they had a total of $173,477 that she would have to split with George. She received a total of $86,739 (the court generously awarded her the extra dollar).

3. Terry moved in with her spinster sister Janice, who was a little wacky but was able to let her sleep on her couch. Terry being 47 had to make the $86,242 (had to fly to Janice) last for the next 20 years till retirement as she had never worked and had no skills or work history whatsoever. Thank god for the social security she can look forward to in 19 years and 11 months if she can live past Janice's second hand smoke.

4. The courts weren't too happy with Don posting porn of his children's mother. He was hoping for joint custody, but he got supervised visitation once a month.

5. Since Brenda lost her job because of Don's actions the courts empathized with Brenda's claims that she was unhirable and awarded Brenda alimony for life with child support for both children. In addition, Don had to pay for Brenda's therapy 3 times a week, and eventually the same for her two children.

6. George and Terry's children were upset at both of their parents and slowly drifted away from both of them. Terry saw her grandchildren twice over the following 10 years.

7. Don not realize that once something is on the net it's there forever, and that many had downloaded Brenda's sex videos. Their daughters were teased and bullied throughout their childhood and they became depressed which spurred the bullies further. Eventually their oldest daughter committed suicide in the 10th grade.

8. Don being forced to live at the YMCA, penniless, his daughter's suicide was the last straw. Even though he hadn't seen her in more than 4 years, he still felt the immense pain. He asked his jerk buddy who also lived at the Y to help him off himself. His jerk buddy suffocated him through his last handjob. As Don was took his last few breaths his jerk buddy saw the smile on his face. He thought Don was smiling because now the pain would finally be behind him. He didn't realize it was because Don was remembering his most glorious moment when he made a fool out of the woman he had formerly loved for 10 years in front of the whole world. He left this world assured that all the fallout that followed was well worth it.

9. BUT THE WORST AND MOST LASTING EFFECT OF THE BTB NOT COMPLETELY THOUGHT OUT WAS FACEBOOK PERMANENTLY BANNING DON AND BRENDA'S FB ACCOUNTS, AND THAT OF THEIR TWO CHILDREN FOR "COMING FROM BAD SOCIAL MEDIA SEED". APPARENTLY THE TERMS THEY HAD AGREED TO WERE VIOLATED. THEY SHOULD HAVE READ THOSE TERMS MORE CLOSELY BEFORE AGREEING SO QUICKLY. BUT THEN AGAIN DON WAS ALWAYS QUITE IMPULSIVE. THE OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITES WANTED NO PART OF THAT BAD SOCIAL MEDIA TERM BREAKING FAMILY EITHER AND ALSO PERMANENTLY BARRED THE FAMILY FOR LIFE. MANY BELIEVE THAT WAS WHAT TRULY PUSHED THEIR DAUGHTER OVER THE EDGE IN COMMITTING SUICIDE AND NOT THE BULLYING AT SCHOOL ITSELF.

IntuitiveJ you no longer have to write a follow up story any longer. In my follow up I made sure I followed the advice of so many commenters to not have unnecessary flashbacks.

Finally facebook useful for something.

Look forward to your next story.

NOT

Is being on social media THAT important? Or are you being sarcastic about it?

How could one live without social media? Lol, I barely have a FB, and even there I don't use it. I've never used any of the other ones. While being facetious, I would imagine it would bother a 10th grader though.

Most of the stuff was out there, but financially both Terry and Don screwed themselves over by getting their spouses fired and making it hard for them to get hired someplace else, especially the same industry for George. That would hurt them as much as their spouses.

Even if Don doesn't have to pay any alimony, would you want the mother of your children unemployed, unless you're really well off? That's taking money away from the kids' welfare. It really bugs me in all these stories where not only these parents don't put the kids first, there is zero concern for the kids' welfare. They seem to only exist to add an extra burden on the cheater that she didn't even worry about hurting the kids. I get it, but at least the the cheater is thinking she isn't going to be caught so it wouldn't hurt the kids (yes, not proper thinking but there is a more than an even chance that she would be right). Don getting her fired, and exposing her affair so explicitly has an almost 100% chance of hurting the kids.

He works sixty hour weeks, she has no job and full custody of the kids because he can't care for them with a ridiculous work schedule.

He's now a wage slave to his cheating ex.

Too short,there is no ending.What happened next,there are a thousand and one questions to be answered?

No wonder the number of students that are going to university to get a law degree, just so they can comment on the stories on Literotica. I personally , thank them because I have no idea what the divorce laws are from state to state, county to county ,and I must admit I really don't give a fuck when Im reading on a story on a erotic web site where the wife is a blatant disgusting pig, then read the comments, where she has a cheering section of these lawyers.

Nem értem,hogy egy jól megírt történetet miért kell megkurtítani egy halvány,befejezetlen véggel!?tnfrtq

I can’t translate that.

Excellent point about what he does if she grabs the lifeline. I was wondering if I could pull of such a story. One problem I see is that it would probably be very "talky," and certainly non-erotic, and we've seen how those go over here!

Otherwise a very good story

I normally do not read a series that I know is unfinished.

If this had been titled "Unfriended Pt. 01," I would have not have read it until the last part was posted. A prefatory note would have also delayed further reading.

I came across a story labeled Pt. 01, that was 5(?) years old. It remains unread. If this story had had a VERY high rating, I might have read enough comments to see if it were acceptable as is.

Paul in Oklahoma

FaceBook revenge. That's the good part. The bad? Another family destroyed by infinity. Poof! Like a bad magic trick, the person you married would despise you.

Reading about the trip home was right on. 4 days of fun, 2 days of dread. And what follows is the horrible awful dread that comes from understanding the previous 4 days had been an illusion. You really fucked up now.

Imagine being in the same room with the person you were cheating with. How undesirable they would appear now knowing you destroyed not only your happy home, but you fucked over the only person who would have given their life for you. All the fantasy shit in your head would just be that. Shit.

The reality now? Hell on earth.

Facebook was a great choice! Don keeping his own phone off, avoiding most third-party questions was a very wise decision.

To me, there are 2 questions:

1. How does Don deal with the family and friends who DON’T end their relationships with Brenda?

2. Did any of those people know about her cheating? If so, why did they remain silent?

Ask them if they have such little problem with cheating how soon can he fuck the female half of the friend/family couples

Very interesting story. I wish there was more because this is really good.

Would like to have read the gory details of the 'rest of the story.'