All Comments on 'Users'

Usual shenanigans going on in South Louisiana!

5

I found the large number of characters and many small vignettes of stories really hard to follow. I think the author is trying too hard to incorporate previously used characters. While I like this author, if this was the first story I read by him, I wouldn’t read any more.

SImply don't understand why you put this in the LW section other than for the increased number of views. I didn't exactly want to read a drug smuggling, shoot'em up here.

Incomprehensible

Jumped around too muc.

2/5

You're better than this site.

very poor writing. Too many side stories; instead of a continuous one of clarity and interest.

Tad difficult to follow, could really have used some additional titles or something as the rapid POV shifts were somewhat brutal.

An engaging read, but I suspect its mostly Hollywood and very little reality. It was great drama and suspense, but failed the primary criminal litmus test: Is it good business? Almost everyone in your story was acting out of emotion, juvenile greed, or just plain stupidity. Why would a criminal put 94 million dollars into a bank account? His business arrangement apparently was working Very well for his partners in crime, so why wouldn't they try to correct the screw up and continue making money? Why would Chad agree to meet a federal drug officer in private, rather than in an office in the company of his lawyer? And of course Chad's lawyer would have made preliminary arrangements to protect himself and his client. And I won't even bother to analyze the stupid cuck burying Thousands of dollars on his trash whore. If he's that stupid he deserves what he married and what she did to him.

\

Just sayin'. It was a fun read, just didn't make any sense. Kind of like a James Bond film. Hey, that's not too shabby. Congratulations.

Quite original in storytelling

It took some time for me to adjust to @JimBob44's style of writing but ok I like novelties. The story was quite good really all events connected smoothly in the end.

Thanks @JimBob.

Man, finally some new JB44! Thanks.

Tracking all the characters across multiple stories in multiple categories is enough by itself for 5 stars... but then the story itself was a good read.

It was gritty, it seemed real, and ultimately all the pieces came together... the mark of a very good writer.

Nicely done.

Great James Bond beginning and I wondered how you would tie all the threads tigether. Well done

I found this story very disjointed. It was difficult to follow all the jumping around the mini stories and how they were connected back to the main characters. I kept hoping they would be tied up at the end but I didn't find that to be the case.

Well done.

This one was extremely hard to follow.

My only complaint is that the story ended far too soon. I had no problem with Jimmy spending money on his wife’s funeral. As JB said, he loved her. That happens. Yes, even adulterous shitheads like Candy can still manage to have people love them. Even after all the crap they’ve pulled. Did she deserve Jimmy? NO! But he couldn’t control how he felt.

As for Chad? He was a spoiled, entitled little momma’s boy. Who had always been able to whine his way out of trouble with Mamma in the past. AND due to his money, probably the police. So of course the idiot thought he could just go to the DEA and they would make everything go away. Because he could trust the Police… Right?... Clearly, he never spent any time in New Orleans.

Now, JB? I tell you what you done did, Cher. You gimme da story o Jimmy, da heartbroken pissed off Coon-ass takin down that there high falootin drug cartel? An Oooo Wee! Dat be a damn fine story right dare, Cher!

What a freaking mess of a story.

Could not get through it.

Really wished it was longer or has a 2nd chapter to tell how Jimmy comes out for the better, maybe hooking up with Natalie

Great story telling, as usual, love seeing more of your characters linking up and interacting with each other. I'm hoping this story spawns some longer stories like hearing more about Chad's family.

Excellent story interesting characters with a cruel and twisted plot. I enjoyed it and will check out you other works. Five star effort.

Not really a story, more a bunch of little vignettes.

I generally like your stories, and style. This time, not so much. It felt like I was reading Pulp Fiction.

Good story well written, but too dark to enjoy. Just too damn dark. Sorry. But it was well written.

Hard to read this as a standalone story. I suppose I'm not familiar enough with the vast array of characters in your universe to piece together a plot thread throughout all this. Maybe a little bit too much "inside baseball" for some readers?

I generally like your stories but to be honest this was a mess, it was all over the place and lacked any real cohesion.

What was that all about????

I had absolutely no idea what was going on here …… a really difficult read

I'm sorry but I had no emotional connection with any of the characters so the whole story read like a newspaper clipping or magazine article.

Interesting story, but very fucked up characters. What struck me is, none of them did anything to change their circumstances.

not my favorite author, but one I, usually, enjoy reading the most, if that makes any sense.

Unreadable. WAAAAYY too much jumping around and random introduction of new characters. Disjointed at best. Limit your number of characters and establish a unified direction of thought.

Kept waiting for a big reveal at the end but it just sort of closed things out.

From the darkness of the last few of your "LOVING WIVES" stories one would think that you are going through a DARK point in your life. I usually want to meet and get to know your characters. Most of these characters I would rather shoot to put them out of my misery. All that said I still enjoyed your story as usual, but please let this journey to the dark side be short.

JB44, how could you write the bit about Jimmy's reasoning for the nice funeral for the whore? He loved her? Everything you wrote of thier interactions said he couldn't care less about her. In fact, I would not have been surprised to find that Jimmy had somehow orchestrated the killing at William's house. Other than that, this was just a snapshot of the daily minutiae in a small town.

with a completely unique style, you tell a great story........

You seem to be familiar with south Louisiana and the goings on there. Once upon a time I worked offshore for a small company based in Lockport. On Bayou LaFource in LaFource Parish.

Your story telling is good, but it does get a bit information dense. I was already loosing interest about halfway through three pages. You benefit from being the story creator as well as teller. Keeping up with your own list of characters is a non-issue for you. Your driving the bus, and you know the route. For readers, it can be taxing. As we get random installments of your universe, bouncing from one cast of characters to another. It is a chore keeping everyone straight.

Had I been Jimmy, I would have honored the pillow and rosary, but Candy's eternal earthly bed would have been the least expensive box available for in ground burial. No vault, no flowers, no stone, no frills, just record the grave site location. Absolutely the cheapest burial that met whatever legal requirements existed. I guess I have grown a bit jaded in my years?

I wondered what happened to William Carter, that wrapped it up. You'll get a lot of shit for violence, but this is just a reality. Thanks for another solid story.

Really enjoyed this story., of course I always enjoy Jimbob44 stories. Five stars. Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

The start? Confusing. The ending? Boring

A dismal commentary on the futile so called war on drugs. Left me depressed, as I’m sure it was intended to. I think the multi pov telling worked well, although I had to go back to the beginning once to remind myself which characters belonged to which names. It’s always a treat to read a new JB44 story. Thanks much.

Some say this story was hard to follow. I didn't feel the same.

My thoughts on finishing it? A very well constructed, sad indictment of the fallout when people turn their backs on morality.

All that really matters in life, is that when all is said and done, those that you love can remember you with their own love... and honour. All that matters is your legacy.

Greed, selfishness and the pursuit of shallow gratification will white-ant that legacy.

JimBob44, your body of work shows that you are a student of the human condition. The construction of an entire interwoven subset of society, all based in the one area, is a reflection of humanity at large, and can not be appreciated by anyone who reads one of your stories in isolation. If people could see that larger picture, your stories would rate higher. What you are creating transcends the platform where you offer this work. It's more important than that. I see the same process in Todd172's offerings. Other authors do the same, but not many.

If people understood what you were doing... if they got that the style of the characters, and the unique flavour you give to their speech and thoughts are true to the world that you have created, then your name would figure highly in the 'Hall of Fame' as well.

The difference between yourself and Todd's work comes down to the universes you have created. While his is anchored in high adventure, yours lives in the mundane. The ordinary... where most people live. And I, for one, think that while it's not a competition, you have done it better than Todd 172. What you write is vastly underappreciated. I love Todd's work, don't get me wrong. It's great. But so is yours.

Well done, and thank you.

The title is on point.

That William had it coming, disrespecting Ria.

Got lost on this one. Hard to follow. Your previous stories are great.

Not so sure about this story. To me it was dis-jointed, hard to follow.

An incredibly badly written boring story by an author who is clearly either insane stoned.Or drunk

Far too much padding. Can't you see how tedious this is?

'He used his key to unlock the door and got into the driver's seat. He slowly drove out of the parking lot'

Used his key?

Unlocked the door?

Got in the driver's seat?

How about he put his right foot into the car first?

He made sure his ass was on the seat?

He put the keys in the ignition and turned it?

With all the horrible writing on this site over the last couple of days, reading a well-crafted story with great characters, excellent dialogue, and an interesting plot is like finding a winnin' five-dollar scratch-off on the sidewalk.

Sorry. Nice effort but very scattered. Introducing way too many characters way too deep into the story who then don’t contribute in any significant way to the story makes for a pointless hodgepodge. It reads like you don’t know if you want to write a sexy cheating wife story or a drug smuggling mobster story or a family business story, so you just toss in all three and end up not satisfactorily doing any one of them justice. Focus and simplicity are your friends - get to know them.

The first one of your stories I had a hard time following.

Crap..just complete crap

I liked it, it was interesting and much better than most of the cuckold stories of late. Even though Jimmy got cuckolded, William and Candy got taken out by the drug dealers (Candy was collateral damage) who were sent to kill William. I did have a hard time following the story, as I kept wondering which story was the one to follow... the drug story, the furniture story, or the cheating wife story.

Sorry, I didn’t follow any of it. Bounced from vignette to vignette without any intros or transitions. Was interesting, if scattered and incoherent. Perhaps the author knew what the ties and unifying story lines are, but I doubt if anyone else did.

Couldn‘t follow the story, too confusing.

Lost track but went back and read it again slower and got back on track. It was an excellent story although with it jumping between so many characters it gets confusing at times. It was still enjoyable and entertaining. Thanks for writing and posting it, it is greatly appreciated.

Lexx

Great story that didn’t skimp on action or the body count on bad people. The fishing boat passengers were the only innocents killed in this one. I enjoyed how you took all those separate story threads and wove them all together to get to that Godfather like purge. Loved this story.

Dang! You sent him off in fine fashion JimBob44! Thanks for another great story!

Sad, most likely truthful story.

I have enjoyed all ur other stories i have read. This might have been a good read but seems like it was a bunch of different people doing different.things with no rhyme or reason. Sorry but not good innmy opinion.