There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 26

He released her arms without her asking him to do so. She spun around and kissed him.

"I think I need a timeout, would you care to join me?"

Newton said, "Oh no, they are going to have sex."

"No Newton, it is not that kind of timeout. I'm just going to do what my psychiatrist told me to do when I'm tense. If I was going to have sex with your father, it is none of your business. The second thing she told me to do if I was tense was to kill my oldest child. Do you want to guess who that might be Newton?"

"I don't have to guess mom, because it's me. How would you explain my disappearance, or death to the police?"

"I wouldn't have to explain it to them. I would pack your body into plastic bags, and surround you in chemical ice. I would place your body between walls one and two, of the spacecraft. After we put in 504,900 gallons of water between walls one and two, and the bearings between walls two and three, nobody will ever look for Newton Luck Thyme ever again."

"Can I go to your psychiatrist with you? I have to tell him that you threatened to kill me."

"First, you can come with me anytime you want. Second, my psychiatrist is a woman. She wants to kill her husband, just as much as I want to kill your father every now and again, because he is such a pain in the ass. It doesn't mean I'm going to act on it. It just means it's a thought that passes through my mind. I will never act on it, because I love him too much to harm him."

"Do you love me that much?"

"I love everyone in our family that much. I love your father, you, your sister, your grandfather, your grandmother, your cousins, aunts, uncles, and every other relative in our clan. I also have friends that I would never harm. It doesn't mean I can't get angry with any of them, or they with me. That's why we are called a family, and families argue all the time."

"This stuff is hard to understand mom."

"Newton that is the reason you are not born as an adult. Growing up is very hard. One day I want you and your father to sit down, and talk about me. I want you to know how terrible I was as a teenager, when your father and I first met.

The only reason I am half as grown up as I am now is because of your father, and the love he has for me. He should have walked away from me days after we met. I was such a terrible person, my father should have thrown me out of his house too, but instead, he helped me.

I would tell you all the nasty things I did to your father, and my father, but you wouldn't believe me. Your dad will have to tell you, and you will believe him, because I'm telling him now, in front of you, to tell you the truth, and how hard it was for him to stay with me."

"Gray, I want you to tell Newton everything, warts, and all."

"As usual, Delicious, I think you're out of your mind. However, I will do as you ask."

Gray said, "Boys, I believe you are making a mistake. You have 50-inch cardboard in the playroom, with a 40-inch door. You will never be able to take it out of that room, if that is your intention. I would suggest you take it out of that room now, and move it to the living room. We all know you are making Holden's spacecraft, so it is no surprise to any of us. It will give you much more room to work with, and if you want, we can move the furniture around, and give you much more room if you need it."

Holden said, "You looked at our project already?"

"Guilty; you left the door open, and I couldn't help peaking at it. What you boys did in 2 ½ hours, would take a team of engineers a month to do. That work is fabulous, I couldn't believe how technically advanced the three of you are. May I ask a question?"

Holden said, "Sure, go ahead."

"For the nuclear engine's, did you just guess at the size needed, or did you do the math involved?"

"We didn't guess Uncle Gray. The hardest part was figuring out the tonnage of the spacecraft. After that, we used Gordon's formula for the fusion engines. We immediately knew we could not use one engine, because there was nothing strong enough to hold it when extended. We continued using the math and came up with the three pair design and that worked the best. As we continued doing the math, it became obvious we could not lower one without causing an imbalance to the spacecraft. We would have to lower them in pairs."

"How are you going to extend the engines?"

"We are not going to extend them. We are going to lower them from their containment units directly out of the bottom of the spacecraft by 18 feet, and then angle them back by 67 degrees until they nearly touch the hull."

"One more question I'll let you get back to work. How much is this spacecraft going to weigh?"

"Our gross figure came out to 400 million pounds."

"400 million pounds? Do you realize that is twice the weight as our largest aircraft carrier?"

"Yes dad we checked."

"Newton, I can't think of anything that will hold the weight of something that heavy while you're building it. Even the new filament Gordon invented, and patented in Holden's name will not hold something that large for that many years, while you build it."

"Water."

"What did you say?"

"Water, we are going to build a swimming pool 1025 feet in circumference, and 50 feet deep. Once the legs and central core are positioned correctly, we will cover them with either Gordon's new invention, or something that comes up afterwards, to make it watertight, and continue to roll it out until the entire pool area is covered. We will do this twice more on different axis.' As the water reaches the appropriate height, the engineering section will be lifted from its position, and moved into place by overhead cranes. The first point of contact will be the Center Core. The smaller cranes will twist the engineering section into the proper position to meet the 12 load bearing legs. When that happens, the overhead crane will lower the engineering section slowly until he gets 13 green lights. The smaller cranes will let go of the engineering section, as soon as workers detach their cables and raise them high enough to miss all the instruments onboard.

The overhead crane will lower its cables until they go slack. The restraining bolts will be detached from the Central Core, the cables lifted, and the overhead crane safed.

"Holden this is your dream project. Would you mind if I ran your facts and figures through the big computer at work?"

"How many people will see it?"

"I can make sure we are the only ones that see it, and as soon as we are finished, I can wipe it from the computer completely. You can watch me do it if you'd like. We can make believe I'm giving you a tour of the place. Tomorrow is Sunday, and usually no one is working."

Delicious said, "Why don't we all go? I'll take Teddy, and it will look less suspicious."

"You are going shopping tomorrow with Roz and mom. I'll take Teddy with me, and the boys. That should drive all the agents crazy."

Delicious said, "I think that's a marvelous idea. What do you think Holden?"

"I like it, because it's sneaky like my dad."

"Okay, tomorrow is settled. Do you want help moving your stuff into the living room?"

"Yes please. Would you take the board that we worked on and bring it out here"?

"I would be honored."

In less than five minutes, the boys were back at work on their project, while Delicious and Gray were relaxing in bed. That's when the earthquake hit. Furniture started falling apart or at least it did in one room.

"Boys, are you alright?"

"Yes, nothing happened in here."

"Delicious come in here."

Gray was leaning against the dressing table when she entered the room. The crib was destroyed, but Teddy was sitting on her mattress having a ball.

"Babe before you get hysterical, and threatened to sue the company for a design flaw, look at what our daughter is playing with."

"Come on Gray, it's not possible."

"Do you want to lose $100?"

The one bet she had never lost was a $100 bet against anyone in her family or her friends. She lost one to her father, but she knew in her heart he cheated. She just couldn't prove it. Now her husband was betting that her tiny terror had taken a penny, and used it to unscrew four screws from her crib, and caused it to collapse.

"I will take your money any day of the week sweetheart."

"I'll take it out in trade, if you want?"

"What kind of trade did you have in mind?"

"You know what kind of trade I have in mind."

"Add 10 zeros to that initial offer and you have a prospect of getting there."

"Great, so it's no longer absolutely no on a religious basis. Now we are down to mere money."

"That's a hell of a lot of money for a piece of ass."

"I will never have to pay that amount for it. Now that your moral defenses are gone, all I have to wait for is the proper environment. For example, if we are the last two people on the planet, and only I can get to the food, you will willingly give up that portion of your body to me at any time, as payment for a meal."

"You wouldn't do that to me."

"Do you want to bet your ass on it?"

"Put the crib back together, I have to change my daughter."

"Yes dear."

"Pig."

"Yes dear."

She kissed him again. "It's not going to happen."

"Are you backing out of our bet dear?"

"Dream of it, while you're in stasis. It will be as close as you ever get to that particular orifice."

"I will smile the entire time."

"Doctor Grayson Thyme, you are impossible."

"Mrs. Delicious Thyme, if I wasn't, I would never have captured your heart, soul, or your delectable body."

Delicious screamed, "Teddy don't you dare swallow that screw!"

She removed it from her child's hand, checked her other hand, and checked her mouth just in case one was already in there.

Gray licked his wife's ear and whispered, "Our daughter is thinking about screwing already." He ducked and ran out of the room.

"Grayson, if Teddy or my mother doesn't get you for that, I surely will."

"Mommy toilet."

"Do you want me to carry you or do you want to walk?"

"I walk."

She did, straight to the bathroom, and began to unsnap the snaps that held her clothing together.

Delicious asked, "May I help you with those?"

"Berry hard, too far back."

"They put them so far back to keep brilliant children like you, from opening them. Soon, you would take it off, remove your diaper, and walk around the house naked."

"Grandma says I born like that."

"Ask grandma if she walked around naked. I know she didn't, and she's lying if she said she did."

"You are making grandma cry."

"I cried all the time when she died. Let's get you up on the toilet, so you can take care of your business."

While Teddy was doing her thing, Delicious prayed silently.

"Dear God please take care of my mother. I hurt her, and I didn't mean to do it. It was a mean spirited remark, and it should never left my mouth. I'm sorry, so, so, sorry. I will try harder to become a better person than I am."

"Finish."

"Good girl. Since you're going to have 'Messy Ghetti' for dinner, I'm going to put old clothes on you. You are going to have a bath afterwards, so do you want to wear a dress, or pants?"

"Pretty dress, ruffles, pink socks, lack shoes, big bib."

Delicious tickled her, and said. "Little monster, you are going to wear the biggest bib we have."

"Bib with arms go."

"What a wonderful thought. I didn't think of that one."

"I know."

"Please God, not another one. Gordon drove me crazy with that sentence."

Divine whispered in her daughter's ear, "I know."

"It didn't take you long to get even with me did your mom?"

"She told me what you said about becoming a 'different' person. I couldn't be prouder of you."

"I didn't say 'different', I said 'better' person."

"You could start by being nicer to your husband."

"I love him to death mom. He is the only reason I am sane."

"It's all the more reason for you to stop kicking, and hitting him, every time you lose your temper. My time is up, be good little girl, the Lord is watching over you, as am I."

"Mommy, are you alright?"

"Yes my love, grandma just paid me a visit. Would you like to get dressed now?"

"Yes please."

****************

126. Inner Space

Delicious and Rosalyn left Temple with their escorts at 10:30 AM, on their way to Austin for a girl's day out shopping with Jennifer, my beloved wife.

In our suite on the 21st floor of the Hyatt Regency, our telephone rang. Jennifer's hand came out from under the covers and reached for the receiver.

In a cheerful voice the recorded message said, "Good morning, this is your wake up call. It is 10:45 AM in the wonderful city of Austin. We wish you a great day."

Jennifer grunted. If the cord on the phone reached my side of the bed, she would have taken the handle, and beat me into sand.

Her head was pounding from our glorious meal the evening before. Well, it may not have been the meal, as much as the 2 ½ bottles of champagne she drank.

She drank champagne, while I drank water. She drank the champagne as if it was water. Now she was paying for it dearly. She tried courageously to walk out of the restaurant, but her feet couldn't find the floor. If I let go of her arm, she would have found it face first. It was safer for both for me to carry her to our room. We arrived a little after 11 PM. I laid her down on the bed, took off her clothes, put on her nightgown, covered her, and kissed her good night.

I went into the bathroom, stripped, took a wonderfully hot and relaxing shower, dried off, and returned to the room. Much to my surprise Jennifer's nightgown was on the floor, the covers were rolled down to the edge of the bed, and she was lying there naked waiting for me.

"I bet you didn't expect to see me awake, did you?"

"After all the champagne you drank tonight, I didn't expect to see you until Thursday."

"Very funny Even, get into bed, my head is pounding, and I want something else pounding into me now."

"It's very late, and you are getting company early tomorrow. You are going to need all the sleep you can get. Why don't we put this off until tomorrow night, and the rest of this week?"

"Even if you don't get in this bed and make love with me, I am going to rape you on the floor where you stand."

I rubbed by foot against the carpeting. "No, the carpet is too coarse. I choose the bed."

I climbed in, lay down on my pillow, but did not make a move towards her.

She punched me in the ribs. "Dammit, am I going to have to do everything myself tonight?"

"I've never been raped before. I want to know what it feels like."

She slid her body over the top of mine, and did things to me I hadn't read in any of my books through all my years of celibacy. We never stopped. We fell asleep through exhaustion. It was 4 o'clock in the morning, and I knew she would be in trouble later this morning.

As I watched her through the slits in my eyes, nothing in her body was working properly. Her eyes wouldn't open, because it was too bright in the room. I failed to close the drapes the evening before, because we got in so late, and after that, she distracted me until very early in the morning.

Finally, she sat up, grabbed her head, and groaned. "Oh God, what did I do to myself?"

She turned her hips, and allowed her legs to hang off the side of the bed. Hanging onto the end table, she pushed with both her arms into a standing position.

Her body swayed so badly I was getting ready to move over and catch her, before she fell. Thankfully, her grip on the end table was strong enough to prevent that from happening.

She turned back towards the bed, and using her hands to keep her stable, inched her way towards the end. She was now six feet from the dresser, and for her it may have well been a mile. I can't explain the position she was in well, but her hips and legs were facing the window^, her hands were on the edge of the bed facing>, and her face was looking at the dresser that way<. She looked like one of those reptilian's, whose eyes can move independently, only funnier.

However, the end result worked for her. She pushed off the end of the bed using her hands, she twisted her hips, and took a great stride with her right leg, moving it over her left, and pushed hard enough to reach the dresser.

I almost applauded her effort, and wanted her to repeat it. I would bet she couldn't remember how she did it.

Now all she had to do was creep down the eight-foot dresser, grabbed on to the bathroom door, open it, and relief was only a few feet away.

Slowly, she moved down the dresser. She was three feet away from the bathroom door, when she picked her head up to look in the mirror to see what she looked like.

I hopped out of bed walked towards her, kissed her good morning, went into the bathroom locked the door, and started the shower.

I am positive the people in Seattle heard her scream.

I took a very quick shower, but left the water running. I was brushing my teeth, while she was pounding on the door.

She screamed, "Even if you don't let me in there I'm going to pee in your shoes."

I opened the door and asked, "Did you say something dear; I couldn't hear you over the fan."

"You know I have to use the bathroom before you went in there. I'm suffering and you are taking your damn sweet time. I should kill you where you stand, and if you don't let me in there now I'm going to pee on your feet."

"You can't make it as far as my shoes anymore?"

She screamed again, pushed me aside, and slammed the door in my face.

I waited a moment and knocked on the door.

"What!"

"You do know this suite has a second bathroom don't you?"

"Now you tell me you son of a bitch."

"Didn't you read the fire evacuation plan?"

"Even go away, far, far, away."

"I'll order you breakfast first, and if that's what you want me to do, I will do it."

"Even leave me alone."

"Okay."

I went into our room, called room service, and ordered Jennifer's breakfast. I took out my best ensemble, and moved everything into the second bedroom. I lay down on the bed and wait for things to happen, as I knew they would.

Jen came out of the bathroom, and called my name. Naturally, I didn't answer.

This time she screamed at herself. "Why does that man always take me literally?"

She was having a wonderful loud conversation with herself, while she was dressing, doing her hair, and putting her makeup on. At any other time I would have walked into the bedroom and told her how much she owed the pretzel jar, but not today. Today I was going to let her suffer.

Shortly before noon, our security agent knocked on the door and told Jen breakfast was here. She opened the door, and both the server, and the agent came in. After the meal was set up on the table, they both exited the room.

She was probably just pouring her coffee, when the agent knocked on the door again.

"Mrs. Thyme and Mrs. Laver are here to see you."

Jennifer opened the door, and greeted both of them warmly.

"I just sat down to breakfast. I'll be a few minutes."

They both noticed it, but Delicious struck first.

"Jen, it feels as if it's been 100 years, since you did this to me, but I know it's only been a few. It delights me to say these words back at you. 'Okay, what did you do this time?"

"You little bitch; you had to use my own words against me."

"Start at the beginning, just like you made me do it."

"Even took me down to the restaurant last night, and we had a fantastic meal. We must have been there for two hours, talking and laughing. It was just wonderful. I don't think it was the meal, but the 2 ½ bottles of champagne that I drank that caused me to be a little testy this morning."

Roslyn said, "You drank 2 ½ bottles of champagne, and you were able to walk back to the room?"